loosing the plot update

Nothing has changed still the same no contact of him he blocked my calls on Monday when I last tried to call his son won't answer his phone either.his mother spoke to me saying he won't answer her calls either.i thought I was getting better managed a little sleep past 2 days but last night was awful . tingling feelings going through my arms feeling sick etc..on the toilet with dihorreahh constant stomach churns a just can't settle this is such a horrible feeling I'm trying hard to get through this just wish it would go away

20 Replies

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  • Give yourself time Roxy as you have suffered an awful shock. Things will pick up for pick up for you coz they always do don't they? It's very early stages yet so be kind to yourself and accept that things are going to be difficult for a while. x

  • I'm trying to but it's so hard x

  • The thing is, you aren't just grieving for the relationship. That in itself is hard enough. You're also battling with so many unanswered questions that he was too selfish to provide. You must feel awful. Try and take each day as a new challenge. Sleep where you can, try and eat a little bit and use your regular routine to help you through x

  • Thanks lucy this is such a struggle getting no answers.how anyone can do this to someone that has been there for them helped them so much is beyond me his own mother said to me you picked him up from the gutter the nasty b . everyone keeps telling me am to nice for my own good but that's just me all over.a feel sick as a dog this morning I have the hairdresser at 12 don't no if a can face the world today xx

  • Don't regret being a nice person roxy and never change. This is the price you sometimes have to pay but it is worth it isn't it? Celebrate your nicecess. Bev x

  • Thanks x

  • Hello roxy,

    You have done all you can you have changed the locks and talked to His Mother that is all you can do.

    Know it is hard to look around for a distraction of some kind, that will take your mind of things. It would seem that the Mother has been dissed also and it would seem He will reappear once more in the future.

    That is no consolation to you and no-one should be treated the way you have been.

    Have you any friends you can call???.

    BOB

  • Thanks Yes everyone says he will be back.his mum says his dad used to do the same bugger off for days with no contact and appear like a week later said she no how a feel she is type of person that can't lie to Noone and is a nice lady she said that he must have his farther side rubbed of on him.all I do is work work never go out etc.ive done all I can for that man and his son. I have a couple of friends but think there sick listing to me to be honest .a can't relax wish I could this is so horrible feeling this way.i no energy to even clean my house all am doing is laying in bed xxx

  • Sounds to me like she is too nice. She has allowed her son to do this to her, and now he is doing it to you. Maybe she is not strong enough to cut him off, he is her son after all, but you do not have any such obligation to him. He may try to come back into your life when he runs out of money, or whoever is offering him a shoulder to cry on gets fed up, but you have to say no. Do it for him, as a lesson his mother failed to teach him. And do it for you, as you deserve a real man, not someone else's child. As for his own son, he will be watching his Dad for an example of how to treat women, and you for an example of how he can get away with treating his future girlfriends. Do everyone a big favour and move on. Don't let the Mum pass the buck to you. It is her responsibility, not yours.

  • Thank you I totally agree his father done the same to his mother left for days even weeks with no contact and she said it's rubbed of on him then said it will be ok don't worry well hello a ain't putting up with that one bit am to a nice person to be treated like that.this is very hard trying to cope with this am struggling badly.2 hours sleep last night still can't eat and my heads just a mess xxx

  • I know your blaming yourself but don't you deserve so much better I know it hurts when all you want is just answers it makes you wonder so much but don't and I know it's easier said than done. From the sound of it it sounds like your one amazing person the good and loyal people always gets the shittt end of the stick but don't change who you truly are just take it one day at a time just remember time heals all wounds and if u ever need to talk we are all here with listening ears.

  • Yes a wouldn't hurt a fly am allways there to help people etc I went to doc today he gave me sleeping pills for a week to try get me some.sleep.i message his son on fb today he read it and didn't reply.a just want all these bad feelings I have to leave me it's so horrible ain't been able to eat yet I've tried so hard too.x

  • Sleeping pills are not always the answer. Not sleeping for a few days is not the end of the world. One way or the other, you will have to go through the stages of processing your feelings. It might not look pretty, but is a natural effect of what has happened. Why pretend otherwise.

    Not only that, but if you think you might have a difficult time refusing any request for a reconciliation you don't want to attract him any more than necessary.

    So many women make the mistake of trying to look fantastic to show him what he is missing, then he comes running back, and then they have to go through it all a second or third time when the strain of keeping up the look gets too much.

  • I can't and won't go through this again for my own health state.this is one of the hardest things ever.i just can't find energy strength it's been 10 days now from he left and 8 days from any contact I thought I would be getting stronger by now but am not a feel worse as ever these past 2 days xx

  • Hello Roxy

    Do not be hard on yourself, I would imagine you are not functioning because of the worry and stress. All I can really suggest is to try and go with your friends for a night out and just forget about it

    Sad to say I know it is hard and you will need to get your thoughts in some form of order. You really need a sensible distraction to take your mind of things especially if you are not going to ask Him back into your life, you will need to address all of that later on, or make that decision and do not waver.

    Look after yourself

    BOB

  • I'm meeting friends Nxt sat afternoon.today has been a really bad day just can't settle wondering what why etc.a just want answers and don't think am go get them am I who no,s xc

  • I agree with bob distraction is what you really need right now some friends an outing to just try and have fun and take your mind off it things won't magically disappear overnight it's all a workING progress an don't be hard on yourself I think u should stop trying to reach out to them Cause it's only hurting you more.

  • I no I've tried got no response I have to try get over this or get on with my life and yes beating myself up wondering how why etc.i have never come across someone who can be so cruel in my life.i can't find strength to do anything am really taking this badly just hope I can get through this somehow xx

  • You will one day at a time.

  • I think you are being used as a scapegoat for other ppls problems.You are your own person and have a right to a life. Converse more with your friends and look outside your hurt. Go out with friends more and start to rebuild your life again write off the past and try to think of what you want and not what others want.

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