I have always been creative. But I have been help back. I am afraid to do what I am capable of doing. Like my family is afraid of me being successful. I feel they don't want me to succeed. I don't know why. It just feel like when I was a kid and played the piano and they would slam all the windows on the porch and the door and turn up the volume on the TV. I played so quietly. Dad would come out and say " soft pedal it will you. I'm trying to sleep" 35 years later I was playing the same piano on the porch and my sister said the same thing. I hurts. They seem to hate me. I put my electric piano in the basement and they would pound their feet on the floor upstairs. I invented things and got no response. I was the invisible child. Did they want me to die or just go away. I still don't know.