I have posted on here previously about my struggle since my fiance left me nearly 4 years ago. I have been diagnosed with depression, am on anti-depressants and now take part in regular physcotherapy sessions. Since these sessions started, I have had to face alot of things from the past and it has been painful, heartbreaking, the list of emotions goes on and on. I am by no means fixed, I have alot of sessions still to go and no doubt more feelings, fears etc to confront. I began seeing a wonderful man at the beginning of this year. He is kind, caring, loving, honest, sincere, he makes me laugh and in the last 4 months he has struck up a good relationship with my two young children. He makes me feel safe, loved and protected. However since he has become more involved in my family unit, my anxiety has risen to points where ive had a panic attack, my fears of commitment, of failure, of being left alone again have also risen. I regularly question my feelings for him, whether I loved him, whether he deserved better than me. This is why I started with the physcotherapy sessions. The reason I have posted on here today is that for the last week or so I have wanted to ask him to marry me and i dont know if i'm being silly. Is it confusion from therapy etc or is it me trying to cling on to something or is it what i really want? I'll admit that i really struggle with my emotions at christmas time - it generally makes me feel incredibly sad. I feel really quite muddled. Marriage is something i would never take lightly and being with him long term is what i want. Any advice would be appreciated
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