I havent been on here for a bit...I avoided it because reading people's stories hurt my heart even more than I am already hurting on my own. I always took comfort in the advice of others, so I am here seeking help. over the last few months I have been bombarded wit hsome really hateful things from my mother and the people who will listen to her has started having similar attitude towards me. Anyone else and I wouldnt care but this is my mother. And to make matters worst, she has many other members of the extended family coming at me. when I try to explain to them that I do not know what is going on with my mother and her attitude towards me I am told it doesnt matter what she says or does, at the end of the day she is my mother. So I do not matter, how i feel does not matter. On top of all this, i am in my final year at university and the amount of work is astounding...plus, theres a 5yr old over-hyper lil boy in the mix - really, he is the only reason i am still sane, or even still alive...i find myself walking down the street fighting tears, and the pressure in my head is overbearing sometimes....I have problems sleeping and so go through da day feeling like I am going to fall out at any minute...some nights when I put my head on the pillow this overwhelming darkness will envelope me and i will feel the pain through my entire body...whats more frustrating is I cannot understand why I have to feel that way....I have done therapy, i dont want to take pills....whats the other option? i am holding on by the skin of my teeth (so to speak)....I dont know wat to do...i dont want to feel this way anymore...
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