Friday feeling

[Photogeek]

Hi everyone and hope today is good for all of us here.

I know we are all suffering to some degree and I don't want to

Appear that my pain is greater.

I have appointment with my Psychiatrist this morning at 11am. I hope

I can be totally honest with him and tell him about these horrible repetive

Guilty type thought. I feel so burned out and feel I never relax. Mostly I am so

Sick of listening to me saying how bad I am feeling.

I feel that my few friends are tired of me too. They probably find it too much and

Who could blame them. Maybe I need to stop fighting my mood.

I have no family support and rarely see them. Last night I felt totally

Suicidal and immediately went to Tesco for milk etc to break that impulse.

Thank you all here for your love and support and I hope that I too even in a tiny way

Have helped someone here.

Will let you know how I get on at Appt. . This Dr. Has know me for twenty years.

I enclose a little photo of my Cat Luna. She sleeps in this plastic box beside sink.

Hannah

[ThemysciraDrive]

Aw Hannah...really means a lot to me that you felt so bad yesterday evening but still replied to my post and messaged me. Thank you so much, you're fantastic

Greater or lesser pain is not important. We all have our ups and downs and we all deserve to have support.

I understand everything you say. Sometimes I think it helps to imagine things from another perspective. Whatever it is you're feeling guilty about, try to think what you would do if a friend did the same to you - you probably wouldn't hold it against them right? So why hold it against yourself?

You've certainly helped me a lot.

Luna is gorgeous. Always had cats in my family, really miss them since I moved out of the 'rents house. So consoling and free of judgement. Sometimes animals are far better people than people are.

[Photogeek in reply to ThemysciraDrive]

Thank you. What a lovely reply. That's so lovely. Will talk later

And will say one thing. The woman who bags you will be the luckiest

Woman in the world. Your so caring mature bright and witty.

Big hug

Hannah

[ThemysciraDrive in reply to Photogeek]

Aw thank you....I really don't know what to say, that's so kind!

[Hidden]

Loving Luna photo.x

[Gambit62]

Pain is so wearing - it really saps you and can make everything else so difficult. I'm sure your friends understand and however much you feel they must be tired of you, they will be there.

Good that you went out and got some milk rather than dwelling on the suicidal thoughts.

Love Luna - she's such a fluffy thing. Does she have a big purr?

About 15 minutes ago I was wrestling with my two trying to keep them away from the food bowls whilst I was breaking up some food for them - weekly treat. Just makes me laugh at the moment which is good because I think it means I'm coping better - sure there are times when I would have found the lack of space really difficult.

Hope the appointment went well and you did manage to discuss everything.

[Photogeek in reply to Gambit62]

Thanks Gambit, it must be lovely having two cats, I have a small apartment. Luna is semi long haired, and is a rescue cat. She is always purring but really an independent lady.

I feel much better today, which is great, and my Doctor was great, I was

totally honest with him, and he was so reassuring and kind, My meds are

changed, and I went out of the appointment feeling much better.

My friend phoned me today and asked how my appointment went etc. He is a good friend. and I know I am very sensitive, whether its Depression or

my personality , who knows.

I gave myself a little pep talk and am so glad I went out instead

of staying in and feeling bleak. It showed me its so important

to distract yourself when feeling down. I hope you are enjoying your camera. Your posts are always great, so sensible and logical and kind too,

no mean feat. I have to be thankful for the good things in my life, I have

some things I love doing, My watercolours and Photography, and I joined a Gym last week and will start going next week, as I am an active type, and need excercise, but having Pleurisy curtailed my energy.

Gambit you have a good weekend, have you any particular plans?

Keep in touch,

Hannah

[Gambit62 in reply to Photogeek]

Hope that you continue to feel better for the whole weekend. No real plans this weekend - my time for catching up on some telly and working my way through crosswords in the paper ... with help of boyfriend. I went over to the produce show in the next village and came back with various bits of veg ... so at some point this week I will be making a stoup (cross between a soup and a stew). In theory should be playing bowls tomorrow afternoon but that depends on the weather. Watched the qualifying session for the MotoGP tomorrow (Motorbike grandprix) which was good and looking forward to seeing the races - will record them tomorrow though suspect I'll be out and about and won't be able to watch them live. This round is in Italy - track was renamed after one rider that was tragically killed at another race a couple of years back - his father owns the track at Misano so renamed it after him. Sad loss to the sport as he was a real character but he died doing what he loved and that's a good way to go. He had a huge mass of red hair and I have absolutely no idea how he managed to fit it all into a motorcycle helmet! Don't think anyone else does either. Its good to have the opportunity to remember him though.

Will have to download last batch of cat photos tomorrow and sort out a post. Watch out for 'I'm a catlebrity - get me down from here!'

Have a good night