“Are you happy?”
Like a rabbit caught in headlights
The question becomes too big
It opens up the universe
I remember the moment
That's a poem from a few years ago but it's come up again - working my way through a meditation course and one of the meditations, on befriending, uses the wording 'may I be as happy and as healthy as I can' and I just go cold at the word 'happy'. I just feel so uncomfortable with the word ... too much fairy-tale and 'happy ever after'. I'm not sure that I want to be 'happy' - its a word that either conjures up an illusion or an unattainable ideal. I'd much rather be contented.
May be I'm just being far to Aristotelian about this: unhappy at one end of the scale; happy at the other; but the real goal is in the middle where you find contentment.
Anyway, it totally stumped me and I had to go back to a meditation on 'dealing with difficulty to calm down the first time and even after a couple of goes I can still feel myself cringing when it is said.
Sometimes I can be a right daft old bat