just want to rant ...**trigger warning self harm**

[guitarfreak357]

been battling with a trauma which led to depression for 2 and a half years now. slowly coming down on the pills (citalopram). i ran out the other day nd had to wait longer due to my pharmacy sending them somewhere else. on the way home i cried because before I didnt know ehat to do and before i went on the pills (Sept 2017) id pretty much given up on life i stopped eating and my body was shutting down. anyways when i got home i thought about self harming i have done this a coupla years ago i didnt do it but i just wanted to feel something. I've been losing my temper with people in my office the past coupla days (not being on pills), and just making excuses saying I feel sick rather than explaining to them. i have made the brave decision to lower my dose from 20mg to 10mg which I will start tomorrow morning. before I ran out of pills i was doing amazing but the pressure of home life n my parents kicking me out if i get signed off work will just put me back. theyre older and dont understand what depression is. i've had three bad spells if you like the past coupla years and i don't know how many more times i will bounce back. i don't expect any replies i just had to rant and get this off my chest. thank you soo much for reading

[kenster1 Moderator]

hi running out of medication is hard its a nightmare for me thankfully its not happened much.be braver and let your boss know in private that you have a struggle with depression or even confined in a colleague.do your parents know that your taking medication im sure they woudnt think you are taking them for fun.

[Hidden]

Hi, Just sent you a private message if you want to talk. Feel free not to reply if you don't. Figured I'd offer one on one if you needed.