sad and lonely and wanting to feel normal

[sadlady]

I'm 32 with 3 children I feel like I'm suffering with depression and I dnt know what to do! Ive been prescribed pills but I didn't like how they made me feel so I didn't take many. Waking up can sometimes be the saddest part of my day having to live this life another day and smiling and pretending I'm ok when I'm not I never am and I haven't felt as though I am for years. Theres lots of reasons as to why I feel this has happened to me but I cant see anyway to fix it and ive tried my hardest. I just want to feel and think like a normal person I'm tired of always being down on my own and sad. I'm just really sad ALL the time I did the skl run today and cried on the way out like a weirdo I just dnt know what to do

[Hidden]

I get this as well, the fist half an hour every day is like death - spiritually though this is when we are at our weakest. I'll get back to you later - are you a believer by the way, your situation could be a calling if not

[sadlady in reply to Hidden]

A believer as in?.......Religion of any kind?....... Yes I'm a Muslim. I've prayed the last few days and I know and feel a difference but I still kind of feel sad

[TheJewishguy]

Are you a single mother?

[sadlady in reply to TheJewishguy]

Yes

[TheJewishguy]

Are you sad because you are single? Do you fantasize about having a partner to help rear the children as well as provide emotional support? Maybe you should hit the dating scene?

[sadlady]

No I dnt think its that I know that I can be amongst people friends or even have a partner but itll still be the same as far as how I feel. My children have their farther in their life . I don't fantasize about having a partner more just being a happy mother to my children.

[TheJewishguy in reply to sadlady]

Sounds like you have depression. Have you seen a MD about it?

[sadlady]

yh but I dnt want to take the tablets as its kind of only tricking my body to feel ok, ive seen others on them and its not the best thing in my opinion plus I took some but I didn't like the way they made me feel ..........maybe I should try counselling

[Hidden]

God allows a lot of suffering in life, it's the way he often works . I have been afflicted for over 12 years and its God's means of requiring us to rely on him rather than on ourselves, it sounds to be that is where God has put you also. God is much more reliable than we are !!

At those early stages of the day just do what God requires, irrespective of what you feel like, your feelings will have to catch up later.

Please consider medication, eg citalopram - it greatly helps your resilience under pressure

[sadlady in reply to Hidden]

I agree and understand its its so difficult for me sometimes but ill take on what you've said! I have those tablets and when I took them my whole body felt wrong it scared me so I decided not to take them. Plus I want real happiness ,happy on the inside not from tablets they just trick the mind to feel ok where I want to really be ok

[Hidden in reply to sadlady]

that's fine, if you are deciding whether or not to take medication, then you don't need them. I was in the position where I had no choice

[Hidden]

If you ever need to communicate personally my works email is [e-mail]

[sadlady in reply to Hidden]

aaaw thanks that means a lot and I appreciate it x

[Hidden]

I have a question on Islam - is 'patient perseverance and forbearance with joy' a teaching in the Koran as it is in the Christian bible?

[sadlady in reply to Hidden]

yes just as 😊

[Hidden in reply to sadlady]

you think a lot of muslims suffer then?

[sadlady in reply to Hidden]

i dnt think do tbh

[Peaches1987]

I feel exactly the same. I have 2 kids. I wake up in the morning almost washing i didnt jst because i cant stand another day of the same. Almost in tears wen walkin back from the nursery drop off lingering in the kitchen so they dont see me cry pretending im ok so im not the 'miserable' friend.

Things have happend in the past present i know why i feel this way i guess but u cant erase memories i dont see how this can be fixed. I dont like pills they jst seem like a quick fix. I cant imagine Living this way any longer its unbearable.

[sadlady in reply to Peaches1987]

yup that's me too but now I feel I have become that miserable friend . 2 nights ago someone was comlaining that whenever they ask if I'm ok I never can just say yes (this is one person I'm true to with regards to how and why I feel how I do) and everyone isn't ok at all times but not mee I'm always sad and I should just say yes I'm fine!! imagine that but yes I know just how you feel its a real sad existence. Where are u based if u dnt mind me askin

[Peaches1987 in reply to sadlady]

Im based in rainham essex where are u based?

It is a very sad existence because thts all it is right now exisiting.

The one friend i talk to honestly about thngs with is a good friend but theres only so many conversations u can have where ur the sad one be4 u jst slap on a smile for them but its jst gets harder and harder to do tht.

Its not jst a case of being 'sad' the dark dreading feelings are unbearable.

Sometimes im walking down the road with the buggy and i become completely unawarw of my surroundings like im so so lost i take my self away in my head uno. Everyday is the same jst on repeat. X

[sadlady in reply to Peaches1987]

Oh ok I live in Birmingham!!

yh I do that too and I find sometimes I can ignore a lot of whats going on around cus I'm just in my own little world.

Ive taken myself away from pretty much everyone I dnt want to see anyone the majority of the time. Yh I get really anxiousfor no reason and IBS on top of all the other feels its just too much. I hope this year something good happens to change this because I truly wouldn't wish another yr of this living on anyone x

[Peaches1987 in reply to sadlady]

I thought this yr wld be a good yr i really did.

Thts exactly wot ive been doin jst ignoring ppl isolating my self cos its easier than having to pretending.

I wake up in the mornings wishing i hadn't 😔 i pray tht plz jst let today be a good day.

I have anxiety attacks its jst all too much. Do u have family u can talk to x

[sadlady in reply to Peaches1987]

Aaw babe I do but in all honesty I think theyre all tired of my being upsetand think its just down to one and 2 things but its deeper than that . u?

[Peaches1987 in reply to sadlady]

Its a lot deeper than tht its so much more but u cant change the past or fix ppl tht hurt u.

Tbh my mum n dad wouldnt know wot to say I don't thnk and they can be a little bit like oh jst hold ur head up high and carry on type thbg. Especially cos if the kids they say oh but u have the kids u cant thnk like tht- as if its tht easy cos that makes u feel even more guilty!

I feel like this life isnt enough for me uno lke if this is all there is then y am here uno x

[sadlady in reply to Peaches1987]

yh that's what I get too oooh u have the kids but that makes me feel worse its so sad I swear long sad nights going over ll the old stuff that's broken me over the years its mad how experiences can make break or even mold a person :(. If your on social media maybe we could exchange details and keep in touch sometimes its easier to talk to someone whos going through or been through the same things xx

[Peaches1987 in reply to sadlady]

Oh it most definitely is ive felt so alone latley i really have im on facebook - keeley Tinkerbelle nelson.

I thnk the earliest ive gone to bed latley has been half 1 2 jst cant switch from goin over and over everything.

Its mad how thbgs tht happend say 3yr ago still bubble up to the surface and hurt it x

[sadlady in reply to Peaches1987]

yh I find it hard to wind down too or if not thay I sleep too much sometimes I dnt eat theres times ive only eaten bags of ice and then my weight drops a lot ok I'm going to send u a request (dnt judge me if based of what u see on my page looool <3)

[Peaches1987 in reply to sadlady]

Same here lol.

Ah i diet is atrocious i dont weigh much i dobt eat with kids cos my dinner wld consist of tea and biscuits.

How old are ur kids? X

[sadlady in reply to Peaches1987]

mine too or crisps n sandwiches lool 11,6 and 4

[Peaches1987 in reply to Peaches1987]

Mine are 3 and 17months.

If it wasnt for the kids i dint thnk id get up at all sum days x

[sadlady in reply to Peaches1987]

well I have days where I just cant and its not fair for me or the kids more so but I cnt help how I feel or I dnt know how to change it

[Peaches1987 in reply to sadlady]

Or if its even changeable. My friend sed about talkin to some one a councillor or sumthng but they cant fix it or change i get theres no instant fix but how r u supposed to live this way x

[sadlady in reply to Peaches1987]

I think I may try counselling tbh ive had appointments booked but never went maybe they ask the rught questions to helpus find a way to be ok? idk x

[Peaches1987 in reply to sadlady]

Did u go to ur gp to get a councillors app?

I thnk u get in to a head space where u thnk its not fixable uno like this is it but i dont want to thnk thts the case x

[sadlady in reply to Peaches1987]

Yes I booked it through the doctor it was a new thing they had so I opted but never went through with it