just want to rant ...**trigger warning self harm**

[guitarfreak357]

been battling with a trauma which led to depression for 2 and a half years now. slowly coming down on the pills (citalopram). i ran out the other day nd had to wait longer due to my pharmacy sending them somewhere else. on the way home i cried because before I didnt know ehat to do and before i went on the pills (Sept 2017) id pretty much given up on life i stopped eating and my body was shutting down. anyways when i got home i thought about self harming i have done this a coupla years ago i didnt do it but i just wanted to feel something. I've been losing my temper with people in my office the past coupla days (not being on pills), and just making excuses saying I feel sick rather than explaining to them. i have made the brave decision to lower my dose from 20mg to 10mg which I will start tomorrow morning. before I ran out of pills i was doing amazing but the pressure of home life n my parents kicking me out if i get signed off work will just put me back. theyre older and dont understand what depression is. i've had three bad spells if you like the past coupla years and i don't know how many more times i will bounce back. i don't expect any replies i just had to rant and get this off my chest. thank you soo much for reading

[Hidden]

Is there anything that calms you down or lifts your mood, like listening to music or it might be idea to talk the Samaritans, Crisis or emergency hospital health mental team. Something should make you feel you are worth it, interest, drawing, writing, where you can let your, outlook out

[kenster1]

hi running out of medication is hard its a nightmare for me thankfully its not happened much.be braver and let your boss know in private that you have a struggle with depression or even confined in a colleague.do your parents know that your taking medication im sure they woudnt think you are taking them for fun.

[Hidden]

Hi, Just sent you a private message if you want to talk. Feel free not to reply if you don't. Figured I'd offer one on one if you needed.