I have mixed emotions, and uncontrollable crying when im alone.

[imboredkitty]

Im 12 years old, almost 13, and I used to cry myself to sleep every night. I do it less now, but I always feel like my parents dont want ne around as much as they do my little brother. As a normal sibling thing, when my brother was born my parents had ro take more care of him and I felt forgotten. When he started to get to the age of going into kindergarten, i thought my parents had let him take his own bit of respinsibility. I was wrong.

He seems like he's the more loved one. He gets what he wants and always gets ne in trouble because I'm older I take responsibility in anything that happens.

My grades apparently matter more, and my parents ignored me a week after hwy discovered I get panic attacks. They ignored the fact, not me. My dad gets them so he understands me there, but I feel alone when I go home. My brother is always on his xbox, my dad gets home from work at 7:30, and my mom is always arguing with me about how my grades suck.

Its part of the anxiety effects. I always pull myself out of bad things to prevent attacks, so that gets me bad grades. My parents just tell my brother "Awe, oh well, you'll do better next time" when he gets an okay grade. If I get an ikay grade my mom just tells me "well, youre getting a bad grade, get it up because you'll go to summer school if u dont."

And that just takes away my hope and makes me want to give up. To stop trying for a good grade. I already suck at life, so whats the point??

It seems I jeep crying myself to sleep, but watchung certain YouTubers has saved ny life. My biggest wish is to meet them, because If I die not meeting my heroes I'd choose to live in hell.

I also think technology has broken the heppiness in my whole family apart. I LOVE board games, and when I try tobget my whole family up to play, we play the games I hate because ny BROTHER likes those games. Apparently the games I like SUCK and THEY hate.

Why am I like this? What else is wrong with me?

[StephPeer]

Hi,

I'm sorry you've been feeling that way. Do you have an aunt, uncle or grandparent that you get on well with and can talk to? Or maybe there's a teacher at school that you can trust? A teacher would at least offer you some help and advice in terms of school work, which might help.

It sounds like you are going through a tough time and what makes it harder is that you're going through it alone. I hope you can find someone to talk to that knows you and your family situation better.

I'm sorry I can't be of much more help, but I hope you can find a person you can trust to confide in.

Steph.