What do I do about my relationship: it's getting worse and worse: help me please! :(

Basically, my boyfriend and me argue all the time, and he always calls me fat - I'm really senstitive about my weight and he knows that. (I do college 5 days a week and I work all weekend so I have a very busy life. I do Tae Kwon Do once a week and it's intense training). He says things like i'm fat, i'm worthless, he doesn't love me, his ex (we have LOTS of problems because she didn't like me going out with him, and to name a few she tried to kick me out of school, sent me abusive texts, got her dad to call me a fat bitch when he saw me etc (inbox me to know it all if you would like too)) is so much better than me, and says such horrible things that make me so upset and he doesn't care.

However we argued and I said to him does he really think I'm fat, and he came out with:

'i'm not attracted to you at all because of your weight and your size'

I only think he's with me for the fact that i have money and because he's used to it: it's making want to throw everything have away because i trust him,. and i've given things up for him to save our relationship etc: it's quite an abusive relationship: mentally and sometimes physically

and i've done nothing but cry since then because he's had 2 relationships, both two years (including me) and his previous girlfriend was slim-ish and he never made her change but now this means he's lied to me for the past couple of months and i haven't eaten since and i keep making myself sick to try and make him happy.

I also have had a lot of hate off Ask.FM - inbox me to see it and you'll understand.

I don't know what to do, i already suffer from depression and self-hatred and now its even worse :'(

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6 Replies

  • Hi there I just read your post quickly. No one should call you names such as Fat or

    Anything else. This relationship sounds abusive to me. You deserve much much better.

    Forget about his exes and other stuff. I think you are a bright girl and you have

    Insight yourself into what the problem is. Having been in an abusive relationship once

    My advice would be to get out. You are damaging your whole self worth and we

    Can make excuses till the cows come home for the one who is abusive, but you

    Know people like this don't really change.

    Your young and have the chance to have a good life with someone who will

    Love and respect you. Why not take this opportunity? Why put yourself through this

    Bad treatment. I believe there is No excuse for verbal abuse such as your getting

    Or physical abuse.

    Anyway my dear if you want to drop me a mail privately for help that's ok.

    I hope you sit down and seriously reconsider this relationship.


  • Agree with Hannah - it really doesn't sound like a healthy relationship for you and you will probably feel a lot better once you do finally make the break. I know it's scary and it probably will hurt as well but sometimes the overwhelming emotion just is relief.

    The behaviour you are receiving sounds like bullying and you really don't want to associate with people like that.

    If you are doing tae kwon do then you must be quite healthy and fit and I very much doubt that you are fat so just don't listen to that. I've always been on the chubby side since I was small but I'm healthy and to be honest it's a myth that most men want someone who is skinny. Yes there is a bit of me that would have liked to do the whole long leather boots things whereas the reality my calves are so large I can't even wear a pair of full length wellies but that certainly doesn't mean that men don't find me attractive.

    If there are particular sites where these people are bullying you please just don't visit those sites for a while - or report it to the people responsible for those sites if they have an acceptable behaviour policy.

  • It's far from a healthy relationship - anyone in a partnership where one side admits they aren't attracted to the other, think they're fat and doesn't love them, is not a relationship.

    Clearly none of us know the details but you got to get out of there, no matter what you think he gives to you there is no respect and when there's no respect there's no future.

    Do yourself (and him) a favour, end it and you'll eventually find someone who cares about you the way normal relationships are.

    Good luck !

  • HI I have just read your public profile and I think that you should take a copy of this to your Doctor and start getting the help you so deserve, I would ditch the partner if he calls you abusive names this will only make your recovery worse. Please go to your doctor and you should not have to listen to such abuse you are doing very well going to college and working well done you. Be kind to yourself.

  • Dump him. If all he does is make you sad, what's the point in dating him? The only reason you still date him is because you hope that one day things will change for the better. They won't. The only thing that will happen is that he will either continue to abuse you, or leave you for someone who has more money. If you're unwilling to leave him, don't ask others when you will obviously get such an answer. If you do leave him, try not to pick such awful men. You're worth more than they think you are.

  • To be blunt, you can do some much better then this guy your with. Know your self worth and get out of this abusive relationship. You deserve to be with someone who knows how amazing you are.

    It sounds like you realise the issues within your relationship (HIM), so be brave and kick him to the kurb. You will be surprised how happy you can be without him.

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