Does anyone. Know what's wrong with me

Hi it's my first don't know what to do.ahve had anxiety all my life when I was about 6. Couldn't walk on the cracks on the footpath would sit at the top of the stairs at night to make sure my parents were not fighting.was bullied from my first day at school and in every job I have every done there was always someone .dad had a bad drink problem was sexual abused .never feel I have or ever had areal friend.have being anorexia drunk far to much when I was younger by the way i 43 .have been see doctors for about 10years.things have been so bad this past 3 years 2 suicide trys .one minute I can't get out of bed the next I don't need sleep feel high buy close that I will never wear painted the living room and hall could not stop.then down will a bang.was ill after that one low blood count kidney. Infection could even stand "take panic attacks I think I go into a fit and can't breath sometimes things are normal well for me im can leave the hhouse because of my anxiety.thenit all starts again.everthing is so loud and I don't know what people are saying could hide everything before but not now and my children are see this and it's breaking my heart seeing a therapist on the 26sep have had every a depressant If he doesn't help I don't know what ill do my children don't need this and I have no fight left.Sorry about the spelling.

11 Replies

  • Hello, Gleeson777

    First of all there's nothing wrong with you and if you ever need to take get stuff off your chest.By all means message me on here I'm more than happy to listen and you take care of yourself and let me know how you get on with the therapist. Stay strong

    take care :)

  • Thank for taking the time to leaving a comment and will let you know how things work out

  • Hello there,

    You're experiencing a reaction to what you've been through, that's all. The events in your life when young probably triggered post traumatic stress disorder when older, and then this has carried on in to the rest of your life. Getting it all out to a therapist will almost certainly help, and they will be able to help you move forward.

    We're all human; sometiems the events in our life are just too much and we retreat in to anxiety and obsessive behaviours as a defence mechanism - your body and mind are reacting to life.

    The very best of luck with your appointment - one thing to note with antidepressants is that they're not all effective on anxiety and obsessive behaviours, and sometimes the dosages needed are higher than those required for depression, so don't give up hope on that score.

  • Hi. Sorry you feel so desperate at the moment but dont give up the fight. Like you i have had anxiety for as long as i can remember. I have had lots of therapy and it had helped a lot. So hang on in there and try to look for the good things even little tiny positives in your life is a good start. Not eay i know believe me. Just take each day as one little triumph and remember you are worth the effort of getting better for yourself.

  • My anxitey causes me not to be able to leave the house. Still have the nerves even when I am in the house. When visitors come round I have to leave just to much noise to loud and I don't know what they are saying so I go upstairs . Have had panic attacks in front of people didnt leave in family are worried sick which makes everything harder. Was yous anything like mine I need to find so hope cause I have no fight left my children are so confused I dont know what would be bestI scare they will hav problems because of me. I hide it for so long fought hard to hide it years.

  • I just had a thought have you ever done any course in regards to this ? It might be worth looking into Because I myself have at times problems going out the house but If you think about it in you going to courses.

    1)You be seeing new people who have similar problems to you

    2)Making new friends maybe(then you have someone to talk to when you need it)

    3)Most important YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE :)

    You learn techniques and they give you advice in tackling your problem. I'm currently doing course now I'm not going to lie its bloody hard but just think about it you make new friends and people who understands you(If that makes sense). The material they give you its very helpful but with me when I get in that mode I forget everything I guess at the end of the day it takes practice.

    With me both of my sisters knows whats going on but I didn't tell them the whole story. Besides them no one else knows anything and this has been going on for nearly a year I didn't tell my sisters until about 2 to 3 months ago


  • Hi there,

    I just want you to know that there is nothing wrong with you, you have been strong for to long and you are runing out of steam now. Hopefully next week when you see the councilor will help you start to unravel all the hurt you have built up for so long and eventually you can see a way out and something that will work for you. It WILL get better, trust me, I have been in the same position you are in - a bit of a different story though but similar symptoms. It took me a long time to get a better life even though I still struggle at times. And you will manage the same, you will get there and have a better life. What worked for me was contacting the mental health team and having a sort of care plan for my family so they would have an idea of what to do when I was a certain way. It would help calm the situation and everyone feel in control of things which would help. Have a think about it.

    I really do hope that you will feel better, feel free to message me anytime.



  • Hey just wanted to say good luck with your therapist on the 26th stay strong :)

  • Hi,

    have you had a look at the website for anxiety UK? They have lots of good info, tips on coping with anxiety and counselling info as well, so worth a look.


  • Hi, I'm just wondering how you got on with the therapist? I hope it went well,


  • I'm sorry but I can soooo identify with you. I am now being treated for PTSD because of bullying and sexual abuse and hope this will help. Some say I have chronic depression, some say bi-polar. I am confused. I have found some sort of solace with acceptance of my situation and weaned myself off meds because of all the side effects. I am so tired of letting my past define my future. I want to move forward and am very afraid of relapse. Trying to fight feelings of self-loathing every day. But the sun shines and I am ok in general one step at a time. I paint. it helps

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