Depression or just emotional?

[justme135]

I go through really emotional bouts maybe only from 20mins to a few hours and they are usually triggered by something silly that leads me to feel like I cant cope with life anymore (like breaking a glass). When I feel like this I always think about killing myself and I think about ways I can do it but i don't think I will ever do anything. I can go a month or 2 between bouts - sometimes longer, sometimes shorter. This has been happening since I was 14.

I've now started to feel lonely and isolated and I refuse/get really nervous to see or talk to certain people (work folk, my bf's parents, family and some friends) i think its because i'm scared they will reject me and i feel intimidated by them. im also starting to feel down all the time and I feel like i'm always distracted (I go through bouts of this too).

I just need some advice on whether or not this is something I need to address?

[1darkangel]

These feelings and thoughts of suicide are very serious and it just shows how distressed you have been. Get help from your Doctor sooner rather than later. But please be totally honest of what you have been thinking,I wrote down everything I was thinking eg: suicdide crying a lot , not sleeping and anxiety. This has been the best thing I ever did for myself as my Doctor knew exactly how to help me with medication and CBT Therapy which has helped loads but it does take time between 4 - 6 weeks to feel better but well worth it as I don't know what I would have done without it. Hope this helps take care and look after yourself. You could go on mind website they have some very useful information about suicide thoughts and depression.

[justme135]

Thankyou, you have been really helpful.

[1darkangel in reply to justme135]

I am glad I have helped, you are welcome to ask anything that will help take care.

[vastopensky]

Hey, yes it sounds to me like you are in need of help and need to take these warning signs seriously. Darkangel is right that you could write down everything that you've noticed about how different you are from normal, it may also help to try and estimate roughly when it started or if there's an event that triggered off you beginning to have such feelings sometimes these things are even begun by things that are as slight as vague impressions or peculiar dreamlike experiences that we'd rather believe weren't true... be careful, and kind, don't push yourself too hard but if this is part of your experience it might be good to see if there's someone you could develop a good enough working relationship with to share some of these vague thoughts and see if anything comes to light. You might find that counselling could be constructive for you, If so do try with your GP but sometimes there are local charities that will support people through counselling for a specific issue often for a donation and very occasionally for free. Do feel that you can come back and ask again it'd be nice to here how someone is doing, I hope things work out ok. Be kind to yourself, listen to those calls for help that your mind is sending you, and be gentle with yourself. We all struggle at some point in life, and some of us more than others... but we're here to encourage each other, please remember you are a wonderful precious member of our human race, and I value your courage in coming here and telling us with the words you've chosen, just how things are at the moment... take care precious one. K

[bethanyw]

wow, i have just stumbled across this after one of my little episodes which sound identical to what you have described. i, too, have suffered from these since i was 14 and despite never knowing anyone else to have the same thing have always just assumed it was 'normal' - whatever that is. then again that said, i've never told anyone about any of it either (first time for everything here!). i don't think i'm really willing to admit there might be a problem, and part of me feels as though i should just buck up and get on with it. i don't know, i cant make sense of it myself so i dont expect anyone else to. anyway, i've realised recently it isn't exactly common and have been trying to look for more information but haven't found anything until this, and i already feel better knowing i'm not the only one. i'm going to try the things suggested by others and hopefully gather the courage to move forward with it. thank you for sharing your experience, it's been very helpful and i hope you feel better soon.