Depression and Relationship breakdown?

[EBee]

Hi, I'm new to here. I have never admitted until now that I have depression. It has got really bad as my relationship with my boyfriend broke down (he left) and I am off work. Since the break up, I feel disconnected, like I have no place, nowhere to fit. I always felt this before my partner (he loves me but not romantically anymore - he has issues with connecting with his feelings) and now I find myself lost and feel like no one could love me because of my depression. I guess I am asking about your experiences of how depression affects relationships? I feel so guilty...

[Gambit62]

I got really depressed when my marriage broke down - didn't help that work was terrible as well. When I was married I used to joke about ending up alone and surrounded by my cats after my husband died as I'd really stopped being in contact with my friends.

However, I managed to rebuild the contacts with a couple of key friends and my quaker meeting was also very supportive - and I made new friends there.

I used to find it really difficult to eat but noticed that I ate more if I ate in company so I got into the habbit of inviting people round for a meal to get to know each other better. I also got into the habbit of meeting up with an old school friend either for spud and DVDs at home or for a meal and visit to the cinema.

It was really hard to be around a lot of people - found that joining the local history association helped there as I could get used to people being around again without having to interact with them a lot because everyone was listening to a talk together

I now have a boyfriend and he knows I get depressed but finds it really difficult to cope when the really bad attacks of blackness and anxiety descend. At times I'm scared that it will end because he will get sick and tired of the moods but it hasn't worked out that way yet and as I know from the marriage and death of my father - there are never any guarantees - you just have to take each day one at a time and keep going as best you can.

My cats help me get out of bed in the morning - so does going out for a run.

Meditation helped/helps as well, as does walking in the countryside near where I live.

Family is a bit hit and miss but friends have been really supportive.

Don't give in to the voices of doubt and fear in your head. People like you because you are you and it will be a rare person who is going to say they can't like the rest of you just because you get depressed ... and they are probably the ones that are only after what they can get from you.

Take care of yourself