Have you had a sterilisation reversal?

[SLMZ]

TW: miscarriage mentioned

Has anyone been sterilised and had it successfully reversed?

This is a longgg read so I apologise in advance 😬

I had my second child 6 months ago, and I was (voluntarily) sterilised during my ECS.

I thought it was what I wanted and, to be fair, my reasons were/are perfectly valid and still applicable. I done it because I thought it was for the best, but since having my son it’s ALL I have thought about!

I’m not one for regrets, but I can’t stress enough how much I regret making that decision.

Looking back I feel I was not in the right frame of mind to be making such a huge life decision, and had I waited until after my son was born to decide I honestly wouldn’t have gone through with it.

I have an autoimmune disorder which was diagnosed by the reoccurring miscarriage clinic following my third consecutive miscarriage. I had already had my first child by this point (sheer luck, I guess).

My first miscarriage was extremely traumatic; major blood loss, hospitalisation, EVAC etc, and I suffered a fourth loss even after my autoimmune diagnosis and treatment.

I suffered from gestational diabetes and SPD during both (successful) pregnancies, and was on various daily medications and injections throughout my second. I had issues with migraines as well as excess fluids too the second time around, and a large blood loss during my c-section. My second was born with blood sugar regulation problems and spent his first 4 days in SCBU.

Once I got through the first 14ish weeks of my second pregnancy I started to question if I actually wanted another baby. I felt like my focus for such a long time had been on STAYING pregnant and, now that I’d managed that, reality kicked in and I started to panic about the future and life with 2 kids. I also worried about the possible risks later in pregnancy as a result of my conditions. I felt like I’d got over one hurdle, only to be faced with another.

I knew I was having a boy, I can’t explain it but I knew. And when it was confirmed I was really disappointed. I openly admitted to everyone that I didn’t want a boy, and I had fears about not bonding with him, not loving him or feeling for him like I do my daughter. I felt very much like I didn’t want him and I often thought about how much better everything would be if he died inside of me.

My reasons for getting sterilised were essentially to protect my emotional wellbeing; could I put myself through potentially another 4 miscarriages, with no guarantee I’d even have another successful pregnancy? And if I did, could I cope with another pregnancy? I decided no, I couldn’t. So I asked my consultant if I could be sterilised during my section, to which he responded “that’s a reasonable request” and agreed.

I’ll admit I expected some resistance as I’ve heard from so many women that it’s very difficult to get sterilised, especially at a “young” age (29). I think his easy agreement made me think I MUST be doing the right thing, otherwise he’d be trying to talk me out of it wouldn’t he? Anyway, he gave me a leaflet about sterilisation during Caesarian and a consent form to take away, and that was that.

Don’t get me wrong, I do not blame my consultant/think he’s done wrong. He’s been with me during both pregnancies AND the RMC, and he’s fantastic.

When my son arrived I fell in love with him. I don’t care that he’s a boy anymore, and would have another boy in a heartbeat 🙈

But I’m sad that I’ve removed that possibility, because I’m sure most will agree that the 9 months of hormones, pain, discomfort, needles and tablets IS worth it when you finally hold that tiny little bundle in your arms.

A work colleague recently announced her (first) pregnancy on Facebook, and I cried in my bed because I was jealous. Of course I am happy for her, but it also reaffirms my sadness that I’ll never again experience what she is. I know I should be grateful for what I have but I just can’t stop tearing myself up inside over something I can’t now do anything about.

I might never even have had a third child, but I never should have taken away the possibility.

So, I know I can pay privately to have it reversed. I also know it’s not guaranteed to be successful. Does anyone have any insight they’d be willing to share regarding the cost, effectiveness and outcome?

Thank you soooo much for reading my novel 🙈