menopause belly

[Rufus07]

anyone else going through this lovely time in your life? I look (or try not too) in the mirror and am totally disgusted. I eat pretty well, no fast food and minimal sweets but this doesn’t seem to help. I cry. I’ve gained 20 lbs in about 2 to 2 1/2 years. And let’s not forget the back fat! Lol

[Sharmian350 Restart April 2024]

No, I am not disgusted by my body and what it looks like. I have spent most of my 57 years being made to feel shame and disgust over the way I look, and being held to 'account' to a body shape unatainable by most women. I am not doing that any more. I really hope that you don't have to either.

It's hard to love yourself, but I hope you will find support and friendship here. ❤

[Rufus07 2024 October in reply to Sharmian350]

I’ve always been body conscious. I wish I could just accept the way I look. I’m 5*4 and weigh 180….obese according to my doctor. I don’t look obese so I don’t know why that label is on me. Just the word makes me feel even worse.

[Sharmian350 Restart April 2024 in reply to Rufus07]

Unfortunatly we can't legislate for what others say, but no one here will disrespect you like that, or say things that hurt so deeply. It may only feel like a little insignifcant thing, and acceptance is not easy, I'm not sure it is my goal to be honest, but the kind respectful peer support I have found here has led me to a much happier place in my life and I have even lost a bit of weight.

[BridgeGirl Administrator 2 stone]

Hello, Rufus07, and welcome to the forum

It's certainly a time of life when the pounds seem to pile on, and you'll find plenty of members who know that feeling. Seems like you're making good decisions about fast food so I'm assuming cook from scratch. This is a great place for ideas and support so I hope you'll join in with forum activities. You'll find all you need by following this link healthunlocked.com/weight-l...

There's an uncomplicated guide here phcuk.org/wp-content/upload... that you might find useful

[Rufus07 2024 October in reply to BridgeGirl]

Thank you and yes I do cook from scratch

[Frenchfields 2024 January]

Welcome and very sorry to hear that you are in a negative space mentally about your body. I’ve read a lot about the menopause and mine was awful with the flushes etc. But I don’t think the weight issues are inevitable with the menopause and I do think a good healthy diet can help you both with weight control and the symptoms. Its not necessarily about what you cut out but more about what your diet is like generally, perhaps engage in a healthy low carb diet or whatever suits you and see if it helps with yourweight and your perception of yourself. Try to give yourself a little love, like you would to a friend who is feeling negative.

[Rufus07 2024 October in reply to Frenchfields]

Thank you

[Grigid Moderator 4 stone]

Hi Rufus07,

I gained much more than 20lb after the menopause, and I felt ashamed, hid under baggy clothes, didn’t go swimming because I was ashamed of my body. Then something happened that changed my perception of myself. As part of a campaign to get more women into radio, the station I volunteer at had a full day of women only on the air waves. One of the topics for a chat show was fat shaming and I put myself forward to host it. I did research and wow did that change my perception of myself and make mr challenge society’s views of the “not perfect”.

The main thing it taught me was to be compassionate about myself, not ashamed. The latter is so damaging and not helpful.

Like Sharmian350 many of us are compared against an “ideal” which is unattainable, or only attainable by making us unhealthy, and that’s not a great starting place. What’s worked for me is losing weight because I like myself (most of the time), not because I hate myself. It didn’t happen overnight, but it happened.

So loving yourself doesn’t mean you can’t aim to lose the weight you’ve gained, and BridgeGirl has given you the link so you can join in the different groups here, the peer support is great, and there are lots of different approaches, calorie deficit, low carb, cutting out sugar, intermittent fasting etc. You will find what suits you best and is sustainable.

Good luck 😊

[Rufus07 2024 October in reply to Grigid]

Thank you for the information and the advice 🙂

[Dippyeggs SS Supercook 1st 7lbs 2024 August in reply to Grigid]

What an amazing project to be involved in! 🙆🏻‍♀️🎊

[Grigid Moderator 4 stone in reply to Dippyeggs]

Thanks Dippyeggs, it is, some great work is done there 😊

[focused1 Maintainer 13kg]

Whatever I eat I now know for me personally that food alone isn't even going to maintain my weight . So I distract myself via exercise to music . Mainly Zumba as I find the gym boring . The younger me could do the whole successful eat less regime and it worked but the older me needs the exercise too

[Rufus07 2024 October in reply to focused1]

My problem is that I find every form of exercise boring. I can’t even muster up the energy to take the dog for a walk. I also suffer from depression and anxiety and that has a significant impact on my everyday. Thank you for the advice and I hope you have a good day.

[Frenchfields 2024 January in reply to Rufus07]

Could you possibly think about taking the dog for a walk as not being about you, but as something the dog would really love for you to do. My dog is a real ’ stop and sniff’ variety and it used to irritate me until I read somewhere that for a dog, a walk is like reading a book -the smells stimulate and satisfy the dog like nothing else. So maybe think about his or her enjoyment and put up with the boredom.

[Rufus07 2024 October in reply to Frenchfields]

My dog is a stop and sniff also. I try not to let it, but it so irritates me. It’s gets to the point where I just want to turn around and go back home. Thank you for the idea about not making it about me.

[focused1 Maintainer 13kg]

Would you do group exercise or take your dog out with someone else with you . Agreed - on your own and I get bored too . Are there any walking groups as many allow dogs

[Rufus07 2024 October in reply to focused1]

I couldn’t do a group exercise because of my anxiety thinking that everyone was looking at me and talking about me. I’m not sure about the walking groups. Might be something to look into. Thankyou for the suggestions

[focused1 Maintainer 13kg]

I felt the same but a lot of us were the same

[smartoak 2kg Restart May 2024]

^^^ this is a judgemental comment that is not in the spirit of this community. Please reconsider.

[Hectorsmum2 Visitor in reply to smartoak]

apologys I have deleted.