It has been two weeks since my declaration and I haven't lost a pound. I think I have developed an eating disorder because I am very pressured at home (studious family atmosphere LOL). I eat well during the day, every meal is balanced & low-cal, and then after 8 pm, I just can't resist a value pack of nuts, and sometimes cookies (oof) when studying.
My clothes from 2 months ago feel tight. 😭
I tell myself to stop eating every day but I feel like I can't stop, particularly at night. The worst thing is that I feel like I still can lose weight because I've done it before so I eat what I want. There has been the sole one day that I lost 4 lbs by restricting calories (I know this weight might all be water content, but still makes me happy). The next day I felt like "Hey losing weight is easy" and munched on like 400g of cookies. It's scary, and I did it before I realized it, and immediately I looked up "how to vomit what you had just eaten", but I failed because I have never vomited in as long as I have memory (for real). This might be a sign of health but it troubles me at unintentional binge eating times like this.
It maintains my weight because I have sports practice a few days a week. I realize if I stop snacking at night/on weekend mornings, I will lose weight HARD because my practices are hard!!
Again I have gained 14 lbs in 2 months, and 11 lbs in the 3 months before the 2 months. My muscle mass hasn't increased much. I know mentioning this is making me guilty, but this has to be constantly on my mind, or I'll gain more! I hope I won't develop an eating disorder.
My birthday is next month. I have to lose some pounds to look good in pictures 😸
Also, I will try to sleep earlier (before 10) for health and metabolism purposes. Today I stayed up for test reviews...I should have done it over the weekend so I could sleep at 10 today 😢
By the way, I love this platform where nobody knows me in real life (maybe) and I can confess and reflect on my bad habits. It is very helpful to reflect once in a while.
Can I do this? Let's see what happens in the next 1~2 weeks. 😼