What is a "normal" way of eating? - Weight Loss Support

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What is a "normal" way of eating?

CrimsonMama profile image
CrimsonMamaRestart June 2023
44 Replies

Coming from Slimpod - which promised we would become "normal" eaters, I wonder if studies have been done on "healthy weight" people to see what and how much they eat? As of course many studies are done on overweight people! Do "skinny" people really eat a lot less? And naturally make healthier choices? I am certain there are many that eat junk and processed food and sweet treats but maybe they have fast metabolisms or "good genes" etc?

I am guessing the main definitions of being a "normal" eater is to:

Listen to full signal

Eat only when hungry

Not think about food unless hungry

One post I saw was from someone who watched two of her friends eating. One healthy weight, one overweight. She noted her slimmer friend skipped starter and dessert and ordered a burger and fries but only managed to eat half.

I think it quite interesting! I wish I could see some food diaries from people who have never been overweight just to get an idea what an average day looks like!!

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CrimsonMama profile image
CrimsonMama
Restart June 2023
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44 Replies
BridgeGirl profile image
BridgeGirlAdministrator2 stone

I think eating when you're hungry and stopping when you're full is at the heart of it.

Eating real food, home cooked, avoiding stuff in packets and cans with weird ingredients that you'd never find in your kitchen healthunlocked.com/weight-l...

Unfortunately, once we've become obese, we've messed up our metabolism. That's why we need to get to grips with those key hormones - insulin, ghrelin and leptin. I found this interesting precisionnutrition.com/lept....

CrimsonMama profile image
CrimsonMamaRestart June 2023 in reply to BridgeGirl

Wow fantastic reading! Thankyou BridgeGirl. I have heard/read about Leptin and Ghrelin before but this was very detailed and also shows that its not as black and white as some diet programs would have us believe!

BridgeGirl profile image
BridgeGirlAdministrator2 stone in reply to CrimsonMama

Yes, there's a lot for the body to juggle - and we've already messed things up for ourselves!! But we can head forward, and I know you will :)

CrimsonMama profile image
CrimsonMamaRestart June 2023 in reply to BridgeGirl

Thank you! I have been working on myself (getting my head in a good positive place) working on my physical routine (finding what I love doing) and now I am ready to tackle my eating! I already eat much more healthier than I did years ago. Now I want to switch my snacking to fruits and veg instead of chocolate and crisps. I have been delayimg the process but joining back up on here is giving me the motivation to start!

BridgeGirl profile image
BridgeGirlAdministrator2 stone in reply to CrimsonMama

Snacking? Maybe think of eating 2/3 filling meals and not eating between meals. We raise our insulin level each time we eat so cutting out that eating between meals could be worth considering :)

CrimsonMama profile image
CrimsonMamaRestart June 2023 in reply to BridgeGirl

Haha I guess I call it snack because I like to have something extra after my meals. I dont actually eat outside of them. I eat Breakfast at about 7am. Lunch 12 noon. Dinner about 4pm and then I want something about 6 or 7 pm. The 6-7pm I am aware is not really hunger. I just want to relax. I have cut out eating then before but recently started again and is my worse time for eating chocolates (yes plural) and crisps! So for breakfast I will have porridge and a banana but also some crisps and jaffa cakes. I hope to switch these to a handful of nuts and maybe another piece of fruit. Lunch I will have chicken and salad. But I will want something after like a chocolate bar. So again, hope to switch to more fruit or add more veg. I just made a batch of stirfried beansprouts and pak choi to add with my salad tomorrow. Dinner will be something like small portion beef noodles or taglitelle (home made, all natural ingredients) with salad. And a choc bar. I wish to keep this one bar as a treat. Then evening I know I am not hungry but eat a crumpet, crisps or popcorn and like two choc bars. Sometimes a banana too. This one I need to break the habit! So yes, by snacking I guess I mean snacky type foods....

BridgeGirl profile image
BridgeGirlAdministrator2 stone in reply to CrimsonMama

It sounds like some of this is just habit. That's something you can work on breaking, but first get your meals right, really filling so it's not hunger pointing you to the add-ons.

Breakfast is very carb-y. If you want to add something, maybe protein (boiled egg) or healthy fat (ff yoghurt, cheese).

Lunch sounds tasty - as long as you have a filling dressing in there like this homemade mayo healthunlocked.com/weight-l... And have a look at these saladshealthunlocked.com/weight-l...

Dinner again sounds tasty, so maybe your portion isn't big enough if you're needing something else in 3 hours

CrimsonMama profile image
CrimsonMamaRestart June 2023 in reply to BridgeGirl

Thank you. So many good pointers there! Sometimes I have egg on toast for breakfast. My dinner is quite light. Usually under 300 calories. Ideally I would like to skip it and eat a bit later (which would help cut the later desire for food) but my kids want dinner straight after school and I dont want to cook mine seperately or eat it reheated instead of fresh where possible. My kids are getting older now though... one is almost 17 and this past week is out with her new (and 1st!) boyfriend everyday so she isnt eating her dinner until very late now. My 11 year old is a bit trickier. She would much rather eat junk food so by getting her to eat "real" food straight after school I feel she will eat it rather than fill up on junk and then not be hungry if I do dinner later. But maybe I can still try to change her habit? Most of her friends dont eat dinner until like 7pm! So she might be open to changing? I have probably just got so used to this way of eating since they were younger!

Bee-bop profile image
Bee-bopMaintainer2st 7lbs in reply to CrimsonMama

It can be hard eating around other peoples needs, especially with children. Could you make it where the more snack meal is after school and main meal later do you think? It doesn't have to be junk, it could be fruit, veggies, nuts etc. I have tended to do it that way. Then the kids get the energy back they have lost at school and you don't have to worry about the extra meal as it were?

CrimsonMama profile image
CrimsonMamaRestart June 2023 in reply to Bee-bop

Haha trying to get my 11 year old to eat fruit and veggies is a massive challenge. She is also allergic to nuts and eggs (and 5 other non food things) so getting her to try new foods is also hard. She used to like apples but years of having one or more wobbly teeth put her off. She loves apple crumble though.

I have a few ideas to try though. Now she is older! Its worth a try!

Bee-bop profile image
Bee-bopMaintainer2st 7lbs in reply to CrimsonMama

Isn't it harder when dietary requirements get in the way-we are milk and wheat intolerant and so that makes thing good in one way (not easy to buy certain things) but, more challenging in others...

My youngest daughter doesn't eat much fruit either. Just apples and banana also certain veg are a no no. Does your daughter like water melon ?

Good luck 👍

CrimsonMama profile image
CrimsonMamaRestart June 2023 in reply to Bee-bop

Actually surprisingly yes she does like watermelon! And so does my other daughter (I dont). I must confess I rarely buy it though as its so big and heavy to carry along with other shopping! And takes up a lot of room in the fridge! (Haha excuses I know! Prob mainly cos I dont eat it myself 🙈)

Bee-bop profile image
Bee-bopMaintainer2st 7lbs in reply to CrimsonMama

Yes, they are big and heavy, I got one delivered recently as I can't really carry things! You could put it down as exercise though 😀

Sharmian350 profile image
Sharmian350Restart April 2024 in reply to Bee-bop

Its really tough eating around other people food habits isn't it? I went for coffee with a friend yesterday and I noticed for the first time how she likes me to have a croissant with her 'to keep her company!' I am not a breakfast or 11sies eater but I do have a sweet tooth. I give in an have something with her. I enjoy it but don't really want it. Thts is how habits start for me anyway!!

I think I need to address that with myself and say thanks but no cake today. 🙂

Bee-bop profile image
Bee-bopMaintainer2st 7lbs in reply to Sharmian350

Absolutely, people can be strange in their needs to have us adapt to their patterns around eating and drinking. I gave up alcohol 5 years ago and wow do some people want you to drink !

I know quite a few coffee shops offer fruit now so, I happily get the fruit sometimes instead.

Sharmian350 profile image
Sharmian350Restart April 2024 in reply to Bee-bop

Fruit may be a really good option! A banana or something would be nice.

CrimsonMama profile image
CrimsonMamaRestart June 2023 in reply to Sharmian350

Social acceptance is probably one of the hardest factors we all have in common! My mum likes to eat out once a week with me (as I have said) and it has often derailed my diet plans, even if we share the meal. But my mum only goes out the house when I visit so its super tough. I have on occassion refused to eat and just sat there with my water. But its awkward and not the same for both of us.

The only way round I see is to plan it in. So dont eat breakfast (in my case) so it can count as breakfast and lunch combined. Or in your case maybe cut something out the evening before so you actually are hungry and looking forward to it?

Haha sometimes I like to think of calories like money. If you have £10500 to spend over a week, thats £1500 a day. And about £375 a meal (over 4 a day). So you are choosing to spend £200 less today so you can spend it extra tomorrow on the pastry! 😄

Sharmian350 profile image
Sharmian350Restart April 2024 in reply to CrimsonMama

I only go out with my friend once a month and we both look forward to it. Yes it is awkward to refuse food in a social situation especially without somehow drawing attention to it.

Lve2dance profile image
Lve2danceBMI 18 in reply to BridgeGirl

My issue is I have Crohn's. And even though it's okay I can't eat big meals, even if it's like a big salad or something very healthy... very filling, and only eat three times a day. It makes my stomach hurt really, bad especially at night and I can't sleep. So, I tried to eat the same as I eat the one meal, and instead portion that through the day. Hopefully it's healthy LOL

BridgeGirl profile image
BridgeGirlAdministrator2 stone in reply to Lve2dance

You have your health issues to deal with and I guess you have to work on getting the right balance. Eating 3 times a day is better for weight loss/gain than eating more frequently.

Lve2dance profile image
Lve2danceBMI 18 in reply to BridgeGirl

My weight is low end of normal. Between 96 and 99lb I am 5'2

BridgeGirl profile image
BridgeGirlAdministrator2 stone in reply to Lve2dance

Yes, you're fortunate that you're not struggling with your weight. Stay healthy :)

Lve2dance profile image
Lve2danceBMI 18 in reply to BridgeGirl

I wasn't able to change the weight on my profile to reflect that.

BridgeGirl profile image
BridgeGirlAdministrator2 stone in reply to Lve2dance

I think you know you are borderline underweight so this is not a helpful forum for you

Lve2dance profile image
Lve2danceBMI 18 in reply to BridgeGirl

My mom wants me to be less even 95 too much for her

Sharmian350 profile image
Sharmian350Restart April 2024

How interesting. I have never thought of what a 'normal' eater is. Maybe I would find it easier to identify what an abnormal relationship with food looked like. I watched an episode of My 600lb life and I think the people there have an unhealthy food relationship-quite extreme I know, or have known, lots of skinny people who eat what I would consider junk food and lots of it too! And larger people who eat fresh and home cooked foods and are still larger.

I went on a council run healthy eating course- it was ghastly, deeply judgy in nature , making a load of assumptions about diet and exercise, moreover the the food and food habits they suggested were again not what I would think of as normal.

It will be interesting to see some of the other replies, its a really interesting question.

CrimsonMama profile image
CrimsonMamaRestart June 2023 in reply to Sharmian350

😊 I am so glad you think so!! I guess "normal" is relative. But I would like to know if the "normal" weight person just naturally regulates their intake without thought?I think their bodies might do this over a week (or even a month) rather than daily. So if they eat free donuts at work and go out for drinks later they just naturally dont feel very hungry for a few days later in the week. Maybe.... I so want to do a study and know haha!

At work I have seen a co-worker who ate just like two crackers with cheese on for lunch. And she liked fruit but still never over indulged. I've no idea how she ate outside of work?

Another thin co-worker is highly strung! Very fidgety and stressed and always on tje go (yet quite unproductive cos she spends more time fussing than actually doing) and she has thyroid issues. Never seen her sit and eat a meal! Just couple of slices of toast.

And another co-worker who was very normal (not skinny or overweight). Enjoyed the odd chocolate. Liked to go out and drink socially. She would eat quite a sized meal at work but said she wouldnt eat another at home. She would just have a slice of toast if hungry later. But she said she didnt really get very hungry and had to conciously make effort to eat a meal.

walkthisway profile image
walkthiswayMaintainer2st 7lbs

A really interesting question and I asked myself the same question when I first started on my 3rd (and definitely final) weight loss attempt in 2020.

I watched my family and their OHs - and my sister, all normal weight apart from my daughter who is overweight. They all follow the basic rules - they only eat when they are hungry and stop when they are full. They all eat well, cook balanced meals from basic ingredients and eat a lot, with large plates of food disappearing at meal times. They don’t tend to snack, although when we are together probably do more than normally with the odd special biscuit, and they are all active. None of them seem to think about food much and sometimes they forget to eat.

My daughter and her OH are different - they also eat a good diet, but snack constantly, often on fruit but also chocolate, biscuits and crisps, and only eat small meals, often leaving quite a bit. I believe this is misleading them to believe they don’t eat much and they can’t understand why they are overweight.

As a maintainer I now try to follow the basic rules. As bridge girl says though I have messed up my metabolism by yo yo dieting, and that, together with my emotional eating and age make it harder for me to keep the weight off, but I know it will always be a work in progress and the reward is enormous!!

It sounds like you need to change the dinner routine as others have suggested and make it later and more substantial for you in particular. Your kids will soon get used to it. Maybe get your younger daughter to help with the changes, discuss ways to introduce it.

Snacking is the absolute worst way of eating because without monitoring every little thing that goes into your mouth you have no idea what you are eating. It is a very difficult habit to kick though. I used to preplan my snacks, including a kitkat or piece of chocolate or two, and include them in my daily allowance.

Good luck! You have done the best thing in finding out all you can about eating from the science to the psychology and it will now serve you very well!

CrimsonMama profile image
CrimsonMamaRestart June 2023 in reply to walkthisway

Hahaha your daughter and her OH sound just like me!!!!! That is just what I wanted to hear though! Maybe it is a myth to think slimmer people eat a lot less! I mean, they prob do without snacking, but yes perhaps they fill up much more on the meals they do have! And if they do overindulge (due to social events) cut back on a meal to compensate! But without thought or effort!

walkthisway profile image
walkthiswayMaintainer2st 7lbs in reply to CrimsonMama

It is a very important truth to realise about your eating habits.

This forum has been an amazing support for me - particularly the weekly weigh ins - and I have learned so much about how to live a healthier life ☺️ I hope it works well for you.

Eryl profile image
ErylVisitor

Not being overweight does not indicate a healthy diet as some poeople are just TOFI (thin outside fat inside).

Sharmian350 profile image
Sharmian350Restart April 2024 in reply to Eryl

True. Im sure there are many many unfit and unhealthy thin 'normal weight' people. Do you think society's perception of body size and health is a bit skewed? I certainly got that vibe from the council run healthy eating course.

Eryl profile image
ErylVisitor in reply to Sharmian350

I'd say ignorant and lazy rather than skewed. Most people think that weight is responsible for health problems wheras weight is just one possible symptom of a bad diet

CrimsonMama profile image
CrimsonMamaRestart June 2023 in reply to Sharmian350

Yes it is skewed for sure. Over the last few months I have learned just how meaningless numbers are. Scales do not show fat loss and weightloss (or gain) can be for many many other factors. Especially when measured daily. And yet it so often effects our mood and motivation. BMI equally does not take in to account bone density, muscle weight etc so again is a very basic average "measure". Clothing sìzes.... I can be a size 12 in leggings but a size 22 in button up work trousers. My gym hoodie says it is size Small. But I will usually have to buy tops in sizes from 16 to 20. So clothe sizes are a poor measure too. And dont get me started on the rather old fashioned view doctors and health institutes have regarding if you are fat its because you are lazy and eat too much!

Its getting better with research into hormones and chemicals in our food and packaging (not to mention fructose/sugar levels). But these messages are far from being considered set in science and so GPs still refer to ideas formulated in the 1800's!

weightloss87 profile image
weightloss87Restart June 2023

You mentioned 'not think about food unless hungry'

That is my problem.

I wake up and my first thought is what should I eat. And it's a constant thought throughout the day.

Is there any way of changing that?

CrimsonMama profile image
CrimsonMamaRestart June 2023 in reply to weightloss87

Same. I think about what I am going to have for breakfast lunch and dinner the next day! And as you say, first thing in morning. I do wait until 7am to eat though (I wake between 5am and 6am).

Its a tough one. I have heard it said its diet-behaviour and if we were not dieting or trying to not eat certain foods we would stop thinking about food. Our bodies would trust we will feed them when hungry.

When I was younger, before 20, and slim, I dont really recall thinking about food. I would wake and eat chocolate cake for breakfast! But I didnt think it or plan it the day before. Mind you I still lived at my mums so perhaps there wasnt much need for advanced planning as I just looked and used what food was there at the time I wanted to eat.

In fact I was fine until I went on the combined pill. Then I felt hungry all the time and worse I was physically sick if I didnt eat so felt I had to have breakfast, lunch and dinner and I put on a stone in weight.

Later, with pregnancy it only got worse and the rest is history.

Ive no idea if you can ever go back! I remember reading somewhere that someone who has never been overweight can eat something like 300 calories (I think) more a day than someone who has been overweight and we will always have to have less and be mindful to not gain the weight back.

amykp profile image
amykpVisitor

Ha--I can answer this because I have been both: overweight trying hard to lose, and right now underweight needing to gain. And you know what? It's the same.

When I was overweight I was convinced my eating was emotional, or "due to stress", or because "I didn't have willpower", or any one of a number of things I could somehow control if I was "better at it".

But the fact was, I was frequently hungry. That's it. When you are hungry, your body screams at you to eat, and it's VERY hard to ignore. For example, the reason we eat at night after a big dinner (when we should be full!) is because the bigger the meal you have just eaten, the more insulin is released, and you can think of insulin as the hunger hormone. It's not because you are bored.

Why do you think TV ads at night always feature food?

Overweight people tend to have insulin regulation problems. Naturally skinny people usually do not. That's the main difference. That, BTW, is why keto diets usually work--fat is the only thing that does not cause insulin release, no matter how dysregulated you are, so you can sit and eat an entire pound of butter and you won't feel hunger later. Further, without any carbs to release insulin, your body won't be able to store the butter as fat. You'll just feel full for a long, long time.

There are exceptions to this, of course. But for most people, insulin is the culprit, not them.

BTW, I am too thin now because I am on a keto diet for other reasons, and because of that, I can't gain weight. I feel full all the time. I don't WANT more than half a plate anymore than you want twenty plates. THAT'S how thin people do it. My willpower/emotional state is no better than yours! :o)

CrimsonMama profile image
CrimsonMamaRestart June 2023 in reply to amykp

Ah see thats the thing. I recently read a book (sweet poison) that explained in quite a detailed medical fact based fashion how the body works and claimed fructose was the cause of obesity. It said because our bodies have not adapted to processing fructose more than what is in a couple if pieces of fruit a day (with the fibre also negating the effects). And because we don't know how to process it we store it as fat and our brains dont count the calories from it. Fructose is invisible to our normal hunger regulators.

But the book also spoke about keto and said that it does work but it is dangerous and will eventually kill you. It said ketosis is just the bodies emergency system for dealing with times it cant find carbs/glucose. So it is only ever supposed to be temporary.

Diabetics have no choice because they will die horribly and quickly without using keto. But it still causes damage. Just over a longer length of time.

... I am not endorsing this message. But it has scared me enough to not believe cutting carbs is the answer. Not long term.

I did however give up fructose. I stopped getting cravings. Probably because there wasnt much choice of what to eat without sugar! But I lost NO weight! At all. So I figured why the hell should I sacrifice so many nice foods for no reward!!

And here I am. Back at square one. Just trying to eat moderately and well. But without cutting anything in particular out my diet

amykp profile image
amykpVisitor in reply to CrimsonMama

Hmmm. I have been eating strict keto for nearly ten years.

What I think is that the "keto is dangerous" line is outdated...with no particular evidence to back it up. Actually, I believe that Sweet Poison was written in 2008 and the author (David Gillespie, right?) has changed his mind. He is on a ketogenic diet too, now. What we thought then is not what we think now!

BTW, I don't think anyone has changed their mind about fructose!!!

CrimsonMama profile image
CrimsonMamaRestart June 2023 in reply to amykp

I dont know what to believe anymore! I have tried almost everything except starving myself. I did fasting. But I really hate feeling even the slightest hunger these days. My body is just totally rebellious against me dieting at all in any way now. I only have to think about reducing my food or cutting down on sweet treats and I suddenly get an uncontrollable desire to have more.Yet every method out there has hundreds of people who swear by it and it really works for them!

I just dont know what my method is. And all this contradiction in science and books just makes it impossible to know what is true! Maybe its simply because humans vary so much so evrn science can't say for sure that this method has this effect on everybody... cos what might make one person ill or overweight actually works for another!

I am very very close to giving up. When I wanted my first child I couldnt get pregnant and the more I stressed the more impossible it became. Until I gave up. I am starting to think I have to give up trying to lose weight and then maybe my body will begin to regulate itself. Even if just to maintain...

amykp profile image
amykpVisitor in reply to CrimsonMama

I think it's true that different methods work better for different people, but if you haven't even tried keto because you were frightened, maybe you should?

All I was REALLY trying to say is that we eat because we are hungry. We are overweight because we have insulin problems. We should NOT blame ourselves.

By the way, I like sweets too. I just use sugar free sweeteners, usually a blend of monkfruit, allulose, erythritol, and splenda. I bake cookies and other treats with almond flour and keto flour. I drink diet soda, too--not tons of it, but when I feel like it, I do. Often, I add heavy cream to diet root beer to make a fake root beer float.

I hate feeling hungry!

CrimsonMama profile image
CrimsonMamaRestart June 2023 in reply to amykp

Yes you did peak my interest and I was thinking about posting to ask or researching what you can eat on keto? I am a very carby person so I am not sure if it will too restrictive for me.

Also I would love to say I eat when hungry. But I very much conciously eat when not hungry too. Usually in the evening as I want to relax with my fave snacks and fave TV programs. A classic bad habit I know!

Wine profile image
WineHost7st 7lbs

I wouldn't mind having a look at that diary too.... Brilliant post

amykp profile image
amykpVisitor

I was a carby person too. Maybe that's a hint the diet would work for you!

Basically, you can have all the fat you want. That means: cream, butter, eggs, bacon, cheese, full fat yogurt, olive oil, nuts, nut butters, flour made from nuts, avocados etc.

You can have meat and other protein, but that is NOT the basis of keto--fat is.

You can (and imo should) have all the green vegetables you want (I count tomatoes and cauliflower as green :o) especially if you saute in lots of butter or oil.

You can have berries, but not really any other fruit. (Well, ok, starfruit, if you like it)

Now you can buy keto bread which I think is pretty amazing...and you can load it with butter or cheese. You can also buy keto ice cream and keto chocolate. I try not to go crazy with this stuff, but I eat more than I did when I was eating low calorie!

You can bake your own desserts to make them the healthiest. It's fun to hunt for recipes. Check out Diet Doctor online.

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