If you don't have time to read the article, the content is familiar: supposedly, we're all being made to feel bad about ourselves because of magazine covers, and magazine publishers have a duty to sort this out by using 'real bodies' in their images.
So we end up with the cover image shown at the top. There are actually a whole series of these; you've no doubt seen some of them before.
At the risk of stirring up some controversy, I think something needs to be said: being fat is not healthy. It's not OK. And that's why we're all here.
The purported aim of the "body positivity" movement is to make people feel better about themselves. In reality, it's about gaslighting fat people so that they'll buy more useless consumer trash. The depth of cynicism involved here takes on a new dimension when you consider the research showing that having metabolic syndrome (which isn't quite the same as being fat) increases your risk of dying of COVID-19 by somewhere between 5 and 600 times, depending on who you ask and which definitions you use. Not to put too fine a point on it, hundreds of thousands of people have died needlessly (or developed life-altering complications) so that profits can be made.
And despite that very real death toll, with a clearly-identified cause, the BS continues. As the shutterstock article makes quite clear, some people firmly believe that fat people should be fed the following messages:
- It's wrong to believe that you can look better than you do today.
- It's wrong to believe that being fat is negatively impacting your health and your enjoyment of life.
- It's wrong for you to imagine that what other people have is not attainable for you. You cannot look like a cover model because you do not deserve such things.
In short, fat people should keep quiet, stop whining, and accept their lot in life. Oh, and if looking in the mirror makes you feel down, please buy more of our crap, read some of our reassuring lies, and you'll feel momentarily better.
"We knew that we would never see ourselves in these images. The problem was, we thought that meant we had to change. "
You do have to change, Ms Sole-Smith. Life is all about change. If you don't change, you stagnate. Facing challenges and successfully conquering them is what makes living worthwhile. Sitting in your chair in front of the TV with an industrial size tin of Quality Street does the opposite. That doesn't mean you have to conform to every whim that society imposes upon you, but it does mean that you have to set some high standards for yourself and then set out to achieve them. Drifting through a life of mediocrity means that you will end your life full of regrets. The great part about losing weight and getting healthy is this: it's actually quite easy and enjoyable once you find out how. Which brings us to the second part of this tragedy: a flood of misinformation about why people get fat and what they might do about it.
The dieticians now know that "eat less and move more" doesn't work. The evidence is now so overwhelming that they're desperate to find something that covers up their past failure (and their current state of ignorance). "Body positivity" supplies that figleaf, and they've jumped on the bandwagon with alacrity. They can continue to peddle faulty advice, and to disguise the fact that it doesn't work they can simply say that some people are destined to be fat.
As you may have gathered, I'm quite upset about all this. I hoped that perhaps the COVID-19 crisis might persuade the experts to take a good hard look at themselves and stop telling lies. But they didn't. The bottom line is that reaching a healthy weight, and achieving a healthy body, really just involves eating proper food, and discarding a few things that aren't appropriate for human consumption. Sadly, though, there's now an even thicker thicket of flimflam for newcomers to cut through before they reach the right conclusions.
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TheAwfulToad
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Never mind the article, TheAwfulToad your post has made me feel like c**p.
Why did you write this post? If it was out of 'concern' for my wellbeing? If so your post has done quite the opposite.
You haven't shocked me into a realisation that I am fat, or the media sells me stuff I do not want, or that society does not value those in larger bodies. You, have, in fact made me feel as if this forum is not a safe space to talk and share without the fear of judgement and ridicule.
Well let me say to you, go ahead and absolve yourself of any concerns you have for my wellbeing, because my relationship with food, the media I choose to read, the decisions I make around my health and my reason for being on this forum are absolutely none of your business.
I think you have completely misunderstood my post. Nobody is ridiculing you or suggesting you are not valued. Quite the opposite. I'm suggesting that "body positivity" doesn't mean settling for something you don't want, but being positive about your goals and your prospects for success.
I was fat once, and I'm boiling mad that a lot of people are still fat because they're being conned. It took me years to figure out why I was fat, and what I ought to do about it.
My post was addressed to those who tell lies to fat people, and to those who go through hell - in some cases for a whole lifetime - because of those lies.
If you've got this sorted, then all is well, but from your reaction I suspect that all is not well for you. It's not well for many people who want to lose weight but can't, because they're listening to a barrage of falsehoods.
If you don't think this is relevant to you, that's fine. You don't have to listen to my opinions.
I am in no way 'sorted' but I do know my own mind and I have not 'misunderstood your message- don't gaslight me. You are entitled to your opinion, of course. But I found its tone very offensive 'sitting on the couch eating Quality Street' 'drifting through a life of mediocrity' your words- I mean really?? How can this be anything other than ridicule and judgement. As I said you are entitled to your opinion and I don't have to take them on board. This, and the fact that you 'used to be fat' does not alter the fact that your post is extremely spiteful.
Suffice it to say, that I cannot, as you suggest, ignore your post, because it is there on the forum. If only it were that simple.
I cannot talk for others, but I know that I will no longer see this forum as a safe space in which to discuss topics and share thoughts and information.
I really agree with you here Mitzy. It sounds like OP may have some internal hatred about being fat. But I hate to say it (and I shouldn't have to, either) - fat people still deserve to love their own bodies and not be ridiculed by every single person on the street and on social media. Some fat people can be healthy, healthier even than some slim people, HOWEVER even if they weren't healthy that does not make it ok AT ALL to shame someone for the way they look. Fat people cannot change their body overnight. That is not something that anyone can do. So to basically invalidate fat people, blame all their problems on them, is ridiculous and frankly quite hateful. "Drifting through a life of mediocrity" - does this mean fat people have no redeeming qualities? That if you are fat, nothing else in your life, no talent that you may possess, can possibly make you a more than mediocre person? What rubbish. You posted this because you knew what reaction you would get.
Body positivity in no way means "stay the same" or "stagnate". It simply means that at any stage in your life, whatever size you may be, you are able to look at your body and appreciate all the wonderful, amazing things it does for you. To turn that phrase around and use it to point fingers at people is just wrong.
Please don’t do this. Berating someone for being fat does not help. There are lots of people in this forum who have this kind of body and are considerably fitter than I am. They don’t sit on the sofa stuffing their faces with chocolate. This is a generalisation that I hate and I really don’t want to see it in the forum that’s supposed to support people.
This is a weight loss group. People come here to lose weight. It is indeed designed for support, and "support" does not mean telling comforting lies. It does not mean encouraging people to remain fat for years or decades (as the 'body positivity' crowd would like us to do). It means rising to the challenge, having a plan and seeing it through. It means giving people advice that will work.
As for the chocolate thing, it was hyperbole. Don't be afraid to laugh. But the fact remains that most of the Western population is dangerously inactive: even those who go out jogging or weight training are (in a historical context) doing far less than humans are designed for. We are fat - "we" meaning humanity at large - because we're eating terrible food and not doing very much. Chocolate plus TV was just a memorable way of summarizing that situation. Perhaps a little too memorable. If you want to substitute "low fat yoghurt and Weetabix" for the chocolate and an office desk for the couch, feel free. It's the same thing.
My post was a challenge to those who have been in the group for a couple of years and aren't making much progress to have a think about why. It was pointing out to the newbies that weight loss isn't something you have to "struggle with". It's an achievable goal. But you do have to want it. And if you want it, you do have to change the way you life your life. Suggesting otherwise is not "support". It's dishonest and cruel.
i expected that people would not read my post, and would take offence at words and sentiments that are not there.
Which, frankly, supports the premise of my post: the Establishment have done a superb job. Many people now sincerely believe that being fat is something we can't do anything about, and that we should all be offended by the idea that it's completely within our power to fix it.
I didn't read the post at all as berating someone for being fat, I read it as berating those who try and convince people it's OK to STAY fat. We're all here on a weight loss forum so presumably we don't agree with the messages given out by the example magazine cover.
The point in this post that makes sense to me is that we're here on a weight loss forum because we agree that being fat doesn't make us healthy or happy. For that reason, we want to lose weight and many members are doing brilliantly at that.
The "body positive" message isn't about being kind to ourselves but about keeping us stuck in old ways and old expectations of ourselves i.e. that we will always be fat and we shouldn't hope to change.
Yes, the reference to Quality Street and sitting in front of the TV may sound a bit off but it's just shorthand: we all have our own Quality Street and sitting in front of the TV: mine were big bags of crisps, routine chocolate bars every time I went shopping or filled up with petrol and ..... sitting in front of the TV. I see loads of posts on here where people say what their "Quality Street and TV" thing and it's often to do with bingeing and snacking in the evenings. People give tips like don't buy that stuff, set a time when the kitchen is closed, find some other ways to use your time in the evening: so people do seem to recognise that behaviour and want to change it, even though reducing it to QS and TV is a bit blunt.
On my own way to reaching a healthy weight, I've found the greatest help from people who have questioned me and given me a push. Being challenged and made to think has been far more useful to me than being sympathised with and told I was just fine. That's how this post reads for me: a message that you can change, once you decide to, and make a different future for yourself.
I was just thinking about someone in the public eye that people generally like and who has been a bit of a guide for people on the forum: Tom Kerridge. He has had a high profile as a popular TV chef for years. He could have taken a "body positive" position and said he accepted his body as it was but there came a point where he didn't. He knew it was no good for his health or wellbeing and he did what he needed to change. I know which of these pics I see as the more positive
Having now read the article (who reads the article before spouting off? 😊), there is much I agree with about the lack of diversity in the images around us. What I'm not impressed with is that they conflate colour/race and disability - immutable characteristics - with body size, which is certainly not immutable, as many of us here can show
I have to say that I support what you are saying. I spent years trying to come to terms with my excess weight, learning to love myself as I was, trying to be body positive. Part of that process was deciding to spend money on clothes with a view that I would be staying that size and the money wouldn't be wasted because I wasn't going to try and diet anymore. I had given up hope of being a healthier weight. My joints were aching under the strain, a hernia was bursting out of my midriff, but I was trying to accept that as something that didn't need to change. It's certainly OK to be positive about yourself as a person, no matter what you look like. I was afraid to try and lose weight again, in case yet another failure ended up with even greater weight gain. At one time we were bombarded with photos of models who had to starve themselves to stay excessively thin, then society said "enough", this is wrong and creating harmful attitudes towards weight, no thought of "body positivity" towards encouraging people towards staying unhealthily underweight. The same should be said in the other direction, but at the same time, people have to have hope that the change can be made.
When TheAwfulToad is annoyed, wrapping things in cotton wool simply does not take place 😊
I think there’s a tendency in our society to either overdo it to one side or to the other - generally.
‘Be happy with what you have’ vs ‘always aim for the better’ - both can be either useful or harmful, depending on the situation.
Does fat shaming work? Certainly not.
Is being obese healthy? Certainly not.
Is it helpful to love your own body rather than be unhappy, ashamed and miserable? Certainly yes.
Is it helpful to change your lifestyle so that you can be healthier in the future? Certainly yes.
I think we sometimes get lost in between those two extremes. But it doesn’t really have to be either one or the other.
I’d say let’s accept the body we have today - it did work for us for a number of years, even if we were not always nice to it and not very good at looking after it - and let’s start making changes, also today, so that tomorrow we can have better health.
I'm with you in all of that. It is not true that being thinner will automatically make your life better. It is not true that eating "healthy food" will automatically make you healthy - eating well may help but it will not cure all ills. It's not even that certain what constitutes healthy food.
It is true that it would be stupid for me to aim to be a cover model or an elite athlete. However much weight I lose it won't happen. I won't be young or fit or even handsome. But it is also true that losing some weight and eating better may well improve my overall health.
Some things you do have to live with and some things you can change. I think/hope what TAT was mainly railing against was a movement that doesn't encourage or support people to change the things that are possible but rather encourages people not to take charge and just accept whatever state they're in. Stated in an overblown, dogmatic and fairly insulting way but that's just TAT. A firm believer in "There are only two possible opinions, mine and wrong". It's always fascinated me how very many people with widely differing opinions can still manage to maintain that belief. But that's a different discussion.
Hi TAT hope all is well...I remember seeing that magazine cover and reading about it in some of the media. My initial thoughts were - yes she probably is fit, active and attractive but she is also young and one of the issues with weight is that the older you get the more issues it causes you and this shouldn't be swept under the carpet.
I personally love the Sport England "This girl can" adverts - its so encouraging to see woman of different shapes and sizes participating in sports and loving it! This attitude combined with a sensible healthy eating regime (lots of veggies, healthy fats, cut out processed food etc) should be enough for anyone to become healthy (or healthier depending on your definition of what health actually is).
But there is a chance that even when we do this we won't reach our ideal weight (and sadly won't look like a supermodel) - and this is where acceptance comes in and not beating yourself up for not being a size 10!
Sorry if this is a bit waffly and all over the place - I'm at work and trying to do about 5 things at once!
This is a good point - everyone's definition of healthy is different. Size is not an indicator of health. Acceptance is key.
Well TheAwfulToad I've been on here this morning and reading the different messages. I want to put my penny in.
I have been fat all my life and I've always convinced myself that I'm HAPPY the way I feel about the size I am, WELL GUESS WHAT I was lieing to myself all these years.
Cause since I have come on this forum I've been given a chance to turn my life around and for the first time I understand about food and what makes me the women that am becoming.
OK I have a lot of health problems that's not about being over weight. But like me being diabetic changing what I now eat has not only made me 7 stone 5lbs lighter but I've also come off insulin. I mean how amazing is that just in its self.
For me being on here has been a massive eye opener, I was that fat lady sitting with the chocolates not caring what I put in my mouth.
its working for me, okay I'm struggling to see my weight loss why I'm not sure maybe cause I've always been fat.
What I will say is I will be for ever grateful for this amazing forum and the amazing people who have helped me see that the food I was putting in my body for 56 years was the wrong food xx💖💖
Good for you speaking up Iwilldoit22. It can’t have been easy for you to lose so much weight with your health issues - but you are really committed and doing it !!!!
Oh TAT you have well and truly put the cat among the pigeons this morning! I hate being overweight and anyone who is on this forum must? feel the same or they wouldn’t be here. When I saw those body positive pictures I didn’t cheer - I thought God help you when you’re 50+ and can’t do any physical exercise because you are morbidly obese. I am not shaming anyone but it’s certainly not the image that should be projected as healthy. Losing weight can be a long and very difficult road but it is doable - no point in eating healthily all week (or day taking TAT’s QS analogy), and undoing the benefits by scoffing takeaways or cakes at the weekend. This is a safe place! I really enjoy the forum and the pleasure I get from reading that someone is doing well. I also feel for those who are struggling.
That doesn’t mean we can’t comment on magazine images
I don't hate being overweight. I made the decision to lose weight because it was a personal choice - nobody else dictated me to do this. But why do you think the weight equates to health? Many fat or overweight people are extremely healthy and are athletes. Some people have medical issues that cause them from losing weight. Some people are suffering from previous eating disorders and may finally be happy, and they are now being told that they shouldn't be happy in their own skin. That seems to be a very terrible message to tell people.
I too feel pleasure when someone is doing well. I also do not judge people, no matter where they are in life. Also, eating cakes does not automatically make you unhealthy, and this type of unhealthy thinking is dangerous.
I think some of the responses made my point for me: a lot of people now genuinely believe that being overweight is healthy (or at least is harmless). The message has got through loud and clear.
I think that's terribly sad, because by telling people "there's nothing you can do about this, and don't worry, everything's fine anyway" they take away the two things that fat people need: hope, and motivation.
Shame is good. Feeling bad about yourself is good. It makes you want something different; something better for yourself. Of course, you need to know how to get something better, and that's where it all gets awkward. Because as well as telling people "there, there, it's totally OK", the nutritionists are also giving people useless information about losing weight.
So fat people are damned if they do, and damned if they don't.
So far the OP has made comments in the original post which I feel are extremely judgemental and cruel.
They have replied to me that I am 'mistaken' and 'not sorted', presumably because I responded negatively to their post.
They have said that they imagined that their post would cause upset and offence.
They have said that their comments were hyperbole and they have encouraged people to 'laugh' at a persons food or lifestyle choices (albeit a hypothetical person).
They also suggested that the OP was designed to support long term forum members who were stuck in a rut- yet the post appeared on the main forum.
Furthermore they are now taking no part in this thread.
I read the original cosmo article when it came out, and I follow some of the authors on social media. At no time have I felt these authors were anything other than decent, respectful individuals who wanted to use their profiles to amplify the voices of folk who have, for various reasons, been marginalised by mainstream society.
They do not feel the need to disrespect others path in life as the OP clearly does.
I am shocked that this post is still active. It was not designed as 'discussion' it is bullying. Utterly vile.
Brilliant points Mitzy. This is the exact reason those authors wrote the article, and I'm very sad that not everyone has understood their point properly.
Mitzy, if you assume from the get-go that every opinion you don't like is an expression of malice, you're not going to get much support here. People will be afraid to engage with you because they'll think you're going to jump down their throats. If you start from the assumption that people posting here are trying to be helpful - which most of them are - you'll have a nicer experience.
I see that you've tried to précis my essay, so I guess you're trying to engage in dialog here, but it's clear that you have misunderstood. I think I'm entitled to say that. I did, after all, write the original post, and I think I can claim to know what my own intent was.
Let me try to explain my position again.
You may not be familiar with my post history. I take the time to post here because a lot of people are struggling. They're following terrible diets, and they're frustrated and angry because they're not getting results. They're doing that, mostly, because they're following terrible advice from "experts". I've been where they are now, and I can tell them from experience that there is a better way. So that's what I do.
I don't come here to poke fun at people, berate people, or gloat because I've achieved my goals and they haven't. If I wanted to do that, I'd choose Facebook.
Can I ask you what your "life path" actually is? Do you want to lose weight? Because if you don't - if you're content to be overweight and are looking for others to validate your choices - you're inevitably going to be disappointed by joining a weight loss group. You might find a few like-minded souls, but most people are here to lose weight.
The main point of my article was merely this: don't let anybody tell you that you have to settle, or that nothing can be done. If you're "not sorted", then you really only have two choices:
- Remain as you are - dissatisfied and (it seems to me) angry at the world;
- Do something about it, and feel better about yourself.
We believe that members have had enough time to have their say on this emotive subject and are closing it before it descends into further recriminations.
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Your before and after pictures are just as good 
Why do things go downhill in the evenings?
CHRISTMAS COUNTDOWN CHALLENGE - Week 1
This Time I'm Doing It.
belly fat and sadness
