Underweight to feeling over weight

[amiikaii]

Hi everyone. In 2017 I struggled. A lot. I dropped down to 6stone. I’m 5ft 2 and I was clearly very underweight. I wasn’t in a good place health wise or mentally and was starving myself. I met someone and in the past year and a half I’ve become really happy. With that happiness, my weight built up. I’ve stopped starving myself but now I’m at 8stone. Which yes, is still “good” in the BMI chart and I know isn’t overweight. Yet. I feel huge. I don’t have anyone to talk to about it as people just tell me to shut up. You’re thin. Don’t be daft. Ah man I could pick you up with one hand. It’s really hard for me as I’m not saying it to have people tell me I’m thin. I’m not looking for attention. I’m struggling now not being the thinnest person in the room. When I look in the mirror I genuinely am disgusted with myself and how I look now. I FEEL fat. I FEEL over weight. I just cry. I’m scared I’m going to sink back into my old ways of starving myself and working out for hours and hours a day. I keep looking at photos of myself in 2017 and longing for my skinny legs again. Longing for my thigh gap. My tiny tummy. I don’t know how to alter my thoughts and learn to like my curvy thighs. My muffin top. I don’t want to long to be something else. I just wanted to get this all out of my head for once with out someone interrupting me telling me to shut up or telling me I’m not fat. I just wanted for once to try explain why I feel it. And maybe someone else could help me?

[Pineapple27]

Hi there amiikaii and thanks for being so open and honest with us on here. You have come to a place where we offer support - whatever issues are shared.

Whilst I have absolutely no experience of the issues you are dealing with, I am wondering whether you have ever considered talking to your GP about how you feel? There is a condition called body dysmorphia:

nhs.uk/conditions/body-dysm...

mind.org.uk/information-sup...

If you felt brave enough to go and see your GP and talk through your feelings, I am certain there is some support out there for you - perhaps counselling from a professional trained in this area?

Worrying about how you look and how others perceive you must be the source of anxiety on a daily basis - and getting help to understand these feelings and deal with them could make an incredible different to you and your whole future life.

[amiikaii in reply to Pineapple27]

Thank you. I’ve heard of body dysmorphia before but not really researched it. I will book an appointment with my GP. Thank you again for your advice and the links.

[moreless Administrator SS Supercook 7 stone]

Hi and welcome, amiikaii

Pineapple27 has given you some good advice and I hope you'll take it and go and speak to someone who's able to help you. This is primarily a weight loss forum and none of us is qualified, although we may all empathise, or sympathise.

There are forums on this site, who may be able to offer more informed advice

healthunlocked.com/anorexia...

healthunlocked.com/beyond-b...

Do you have a friend/parent/partner you could confide in, who would be able to help you find professional help and support your needs? Seek help from whatever avenue you can.

Please take care and let us know how you're getting on.

[S11m]

Hi, amiikaii , Welcome.

I like to think I have a thigh gap, and I am nearly 100kg!

Are you fit?

Do you exercise?

Do you do any sports?

Toning up your muscles might make you look and feel slimmer.

[amiikaii in reply to S11m]

I used to go running every morning at 5am for hours but when my husband and I split I struggle to find the time as I can’t leave my little girl at home anymore like I used to when he was here. I know it’s not an excuse. It’s more me being scared of falling back into being obsessed with working out and I suppose I can look at some work our routines I can do inside. I think that would help a lot. Thank you

[S11m in reply to amiikaii]

How old is your “little girl”?

You could take her with you, on foot, on wheels or on your back.

Or get a bike and kiddy-rack.

Or leave her with a neighbour?

[amiikaii in reply to S11m]

I don’t think it’s fair to take her out at that time in the morning. I appreciate your help I do and I think a bike and a kiddy-rack sounds like a great idea especially in the summer. Thank you for that. I’m going to look into it now!