Wondering the "why" of this?

[CrimsonMama]

A year ago I never thought it would ever be possible for me to get down to my ideal healthy weight (9stone 6lbs). I always thought I would be happy at 11 stone as at my age (approaching 40) and a mother wasn't it normal to be on the rounded side? However since losing 3 and a half stone I am now just under 12 stone and that 9.6 stone no longer seems impossible! Especially as I seem to have taken to my exercise and calorie counting better than I ever have in the past and it doesn't feel like a chore.

But I can't help but wonder what it will mean for me to get to that weight? I imagine everybody else has some goal or clear reason in mind for doing this weight loss? But surely I'm not the only one wondering about the why? I know it is better for me but just losing one stone made the health issues I was beginning to get disappear. I enjoy buying small sized clothes but since my bad relationship a few years ago I am not interested in relationships so I don't really care how I look. I don't go out anywhere and have very few friends. Which I prefer as with work, the kids and helping out my mum (who is nearly 70) I don't have the time nor desire for friendships.

I don't mean this to be a negative post... I'm doing so well I am amazed. I just don't know what will happen when I reach my target? Nothing really. Which feels wrong! But what does any of us expect when we get to that magic number? I know my focus will change as I will still exercise -just a little less - and I will still watch what I eat but as i will be able to consume a bit more it should feel easy! So my focus is going to be my career and probably body toning.....

Don't know what else to say really. Just needed to put this out there anyways!

[Lytham 3 stone]

Hi , well done, youve come such a long way ! Funnily enough I was thinking about this last week, I talk about my targets and what I am going to treat myself to when I get there but apart from the obvious health reasons, I was asking myself about the why ? The first thing that sprung to mind was to be able to look nice in my summer clothes this summer and not feel self conscious, we are doing it to make ourselves happy. Hang onto that! x

[CrimsonMama in reply to Lytham]

That's a good answer! And I'm glad I'm not the only one wondering! Lol. To be happy... ! 😊 I think the exercise and having control over my eating makes me feel happy!

[Straymuppet in reply to CrimsonMama]

Hello CrimsonMama, the reasons Lytham gave for doing this were virtually the same as mine. Strangely, my target weight was pretty similar to yours 9st 7lbs was my goal. I have now reached that target, actually 9st 6lbs today and feel great. I recently went on holiday, felt happy in my summer clothes, was able to walk quite long distances without experiencing any pain in my knee or hip, just enjoyed being the real me again. So keep going, you can do it and it is worth it xxx

[JiminyCricket 7lbs]

Don't forget that some of the health benefits may be preventative so less easy to see right now. Like for me, losing weight decreases the stress on my knees and hips - great in reducing current pain, but also hopefully steering away from future issues like joint replacement.

You might find your focus changes as you lose even more weight - look at how far you've come already! Losing 3.5 stone is just brilliant.

[CrimsonMama in reply to JiminyCricket]

I do seem to have less back ache and I was getting a dodgy knee! I work in a care home too and there is a big difference in mobility between the elderly that were always active or not.

[JiminyCricket 7lbs in reply to CrimsonMama]

Oh interesting. Theres a lesson in that!

[Hidden]

This is part of what I found so difficult about maintaining. Wanting that feeling of knowing I'm slim, but when small re-gains started to happen I knew just a few lbs here and there weren't going to suddenly make me super unhealthy. But I think it's worth fixing a number in mind whatever reason you attach to it. As my little regains all added up to quite a big regain in the end...

[CrimsonMama in reply to Hidden]

Haha yes this is always the fear! That once you get to that magic number you lose the motivation and control you used to put in to get there! But I think (hope) this learning process gives us the tools and tricks to know how to quickly come down again!

I've never yet got to a maintain stage so that's going to be new!!

[Barcud 48kg]

Personally, when I get there I expect shooting stars, the biggest cowbells clanging away and just1me dancing on a train with her pompoms. I'm already seeing and enjoying the benefits of losing over 5 stone when I reach 'the end' I think it will be an anticlimax so will have to find something positive to focus on. I shall of course still be coming here to maintain probably for the rest of my life

[CrimsonMama in reply to Barcud]

Haha yes that's it exactly! The wish for some big whoop! I guess we will have to settle for an online version by coming here to shout out our success!

Another great reason for this forum!

[JiminyCricket 7lbs in reply to CrimsonMama]

We'll all be whooping!!!

[S11m]

Hi, CrimsonMama

Your thoughts are similar to mine...

I was happy maintaining at 18 stone for nearly two decades.

I was an endurance athlete in the 1990s, but I have lost 10 kg of muscle, and my weight went up to about nineteen and a half stone.

I have now got down to sixteen stone, BMI 28 and about 20% body-fat.

I have lost a pound a week for over six months - without counting anything.

If you do count calories the tendency is to put weight on when you stop counting! I am 69.

[CrimsonMama in reply to S11m]

Oh I love doing lists and plans! I have a notebook with about 12 weekday plans and about six weekend plans and then plans for when I'm not at work too lol. And a schedule of my new calorie allowances as I hit certain weight targets.

Once I reach my target I will probably still have a list of meal plans but yes the temptation to increase portion sizes or 'have an extra treat or two' will probably be my downfall. But I think ... Thanks to this forum... that I am much more aware of these pitfalls than if I was dieting alone. Hopefully it won't be much longer before I am on the maintain wagon!

[S11m in reply to CrimsonMama]

I got really technical... and put my target weight in my diary - six months ahead...and made it happen.

[Vale57]

it NEVER ends! ha ha. Once you get there you need to set a weight that you will NOT go over. so once you reach it .... you are back losing again! I got to a weight (not even close to the target I set) where people were commenting all the time, I felt great, healthy and pain free it was amazing. and then allowed a few pounds back on, then had various problems and it just slowly ticked back up! Now I have to do it all again!! SO there may not be a brass band and a trip to the moon for hitting a target. But what you get is a lot better!!

[IndigoBlue61 in reply to Vale57]

Sorry to hear that Vale57, but well done for tackling things again, I guess it just proves that we need to make permanent changes to our eating behaviour 😊

[bikegrrrl 1lb in reply to Vale57]

I recognise what you are saying Vale57 , having lost weight a few years ago and put it back on again post-menopause. I have come to the conclusion that I will need to keep an eye on this for the rest of my life. Of course I would much rather have come to a naturally "healthy way" of eating and never have to think about my weight again ... but I have had to accept the way it is, and this forum is helping me a lot. It is still early days for me but it feels great to be slim. I have more energy and I walk taller.

CrimsonMama don't underestimate the benefits of health and looking good. Looking good is not just about attracting/keeping a partner. It's about being the best you can be. Personally I am loving not being the "fatty" among my group of friends. I'm sorry if that's shallow! And I like being able to keep up with my boys, and walking, and cycling, and climbing the stairs at work without being puffed!

I do love clothes and I love looking good in my clothes.

Sadly also people are often quite visual creatures so you might find in your career that people react differently to you if you are slimmer.

I have stopped counting calories for now and am aiming for 3 "square" meals a day and no snacks, and am hovering just under my goal weight. It's still a plan! And if I put weight on I will go back to the calorie counting.

Good luck!

[Vale57 in reply to bikegrrrl]

I did find that I got treated differently! In several cases people who never spoke to me before , went out of their way to chat. THAT made me very uncomfortable, and I stuck close to my old friends who loved me at any size and whatever I wore!! I am not interested in how people (myself included) look or dress, so I was also not thrilled with myself grabbing every opportunity to gimps myself in any shop windows. I suppose it was the novelty. And you get the odd one who feels 'threatened' that her chubby buddy is now gettin noticed. All a bit odd really. but feels good on the whole.

[S11m in reply to Vale57]

Nothing lasts forever - especially life itself - but we try to get fit to enjoy (longer) life.

[focused1 Maintainer 13kg]

My older children appreciate I have made an effort as physically I am better. Appearance wise I look better . I have been married for 33 years and feel I would be accepted at any weight but for me it has made me feel better. Just walking down the road , attending job interviews and the buzz of turning 2 jobs down . This weight loss has been better than any pills ever could be

[IndigoBlue61 in reply to focused1]

I agree about this focused1, how losing weight has helped my confidence in other areas, emotionally and professionally, as well as physically 😊

[focused1 Maintainer 13kg in reply to IndigoBlue61]

Exactly . I feel better eating decent food . Just got e.mail from Iceland ..full of snack 'ideas' for £1 ...crisps , biscuits etc ....guess where Mum's NOT going .

[Craftyperson]

A good question my why is to help my bad back and fit into my summer clothes and look good in them....or at least bit better than last year

[IndigoBlue61 in reply to Craftyperson]

Improvement rather than perfection is a very good aim Craftyperson 😊

[IndigoBlue61]

For me, it’s was always about health, energy levels and fitness. Id had a scare during anaesthetic and faced further surgery, also I had a wedding looming and a dress that has become tight since I puchased it. I had no end goal apart from to still be ‘on plan’ in 6 months time, (hit that goal over 3 years ago 😊) so I knew that THIS TIME it had to be a sustainable plan. I knew that when I stopped losing weight that would be my “maintainence” level. As a 50+ Grandmother the skinny, airbrushed supermodels never were my role models, more the fit and energetic older ladies I meet, still dancing, walking and enjoying life.

Although this is the Weight Loss forum, it’s far more important to find your own level, to find your happy place, and stay there 😊