I have 3 stone to lose and half of that has gone on since I started dieting 😆
I have always been overweight apart from a 3 or 4 year period in my 20s (when of course I thought I was huge) and am really bored of being so aware of my weight for one thing. I also don't really enjoy food to the extent that I eat it....or at least junk food or 'treats'. I love food though, and actually pretty fresh, natural foods tend to satisfy me the most. But I have identified the following as contributing to my problem:
- eating to please others. I know I can always say no, but why do I feel so guilty? I have one friend in particular who is quite a bit bigger than me, and has said that she's a also a comfort eater. We see each other regularly and she brings cakes, bread, chocolates (as I do when I visit her) and think we just need to stop. I need to broach it with her but I don't want her thinking I'm judging her weight if that makes sense. I'm the same with loads of people - if they put a spread out I eat it because I feel bad, even though I hear a wee voice saying I don't want it.
- I don't dedicate enough time to shopping and cooking at home
- I panic diet, ie cut out loads of food, drastic diet plans etc wanting to lose half a stone in a week etc. I have come to the conclusion that every pound I lose will be an improvement....so if it's just one a week, so be it.
- I never know whether just to cut my calories and worry less about nutrients. I try to eat my nutrients before I eat anything else (eg I wouldn't have a pastry or plain white toast for breakfast unless it's a special occasion. I would try and get some protein and vitamins in there. I adore toast by the way! I need to think of that as a treat haha). But back to the point! Does anyone know whether it's important to get your nutrients if you're just not hungry? Maybe it's OK once in a while as long as the next time you eat it's something nutritious?
This is far longer than I intended but it was quite good to get some thoughts off my chest!
Hope everyone is well!
Written by
Drums78
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Welcome Drums to our friendly forum, I see that you have been joining in already - that's great - the more support you give, the more you will receive
You certainly appear to know yourself and your weaknesses. I think a lot of us eat because we don't want to appear rude when somebody has gone to a lot of effort, or offend the friend that has brought us a 'treat'. I still find this difficult, but am getting better at it
Why not tell your friend that you are starting this journey and tell her your reasons why - tell her you are going to try hard to no longer see food as a treat or reward and would appreciate her support, by not bringing you cakes etc. When you go to her take a healthy option to share Just be honest with her and tell her that you are not judging her and don't expect her to change, this is just your personal journey.
As for 'dieting' whether in panic or not - that is the first thing I would suggest you change. Forget 'diets' and start thinking long term healthy eating plan, something that can be sustainable for life. Diet's don't work, you will get to a weight you are happy with, stop dieting and put the weight back on. A sustainable plan that you can stick to for life will be far more rewarding.
The first think you need to do is take a look at the NHS BMI calorie counter and work out your own personal range and start at the higher end. You will need to keep dropping your calories as you loose weight. Please don't be tempted to start at the bottom of the range - you will end up feeling hungry and miserable and your body will think it's being starved and hang on to what is has, making it even harder to shift the pounds.
My personal opinion is that you should be eating nutritious, satiating food at every meal. This way you will feel full and won't want the junk. Stop eating anything labelled diet or low fat foods and start eating full fat versions of yoghurt, use cream, cheese and butter, cook in olive or coconut oil, eat fattier cuts of meat, eat nuts in moderation, learn to enjoy avocado. This way of eating will fill you up and your insides will be so much happier
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I will post my weight today, and agree that I just need to be a bit clearer with everyone really that I'd like to lose weight.
I agree about the low fat/diet foods - I feel much better eating real food. And now that I've posted here and being a bit more realistic about weight loss, I need to stop kidding myself about how much of the fattiest ones I really need (not only do I love toast, I love it smothered in butter!)
The butter is fine Drums as long as it is proper butter, grass fed cows is the best. Watch the carbs though, they spike your insulin and make you feel hungry - try and cut that bread right down. Never thought I would achieve that, I love bread but can do without it and actually don't really miss it. The butter gets used on oat cakes and put into scrambled eggs and my cabbage now gets cooked in butter, so much nicer than boiling it
Toast and butter is my weakness too! I am guilty of letting the toast get cool so I can put more butter on. If I can control the toast, the butter side of things becomes much more reasonable - ie just used in the things that lucigret suggests. I am not too bad in general, and getting better all the time. I am trying to be more 'body aware' after eating bread and notice how I feel more bloated and my clothes are tighter. The rest of my family eat toast, bread and butter in normal amounts so I can't justify keeping the bread in the freezer or the butter in the fridge......both of which are GREAT tips if your household allows.
Totally agree with Lucigret. A diet doesn't work. You will lose the weight and then you'll gain it back. I've had experience with that happening...twice! One of those times I was at my ideal weight for one week before i started piling it back on.
You need to find a way that works for you which is sustainable forever. I'm going to share what I've found works for me (but remember everyone is different and you might think my way won't work for you).
- I have no rules. I don't cut out anything at all from my diet (chocolate, crisps, bread...are all still available for me to eat.) Knowing I can have all this keeps me calm and doesn't make me crave it.
- I don't count calories - I try and use my natural judgement about what is a good choice to have. Some days I'm naturally hungrier than otherdays, so I eat a bit more. However some days I'm not that hungry so I eat less.
- cook from scratch - I use BBC Good Foods to cook healthy and yummy recipes.
- events (seeing friends, weddings, birthdays) - I let my hair down, I eat what's available at the event. If there's birthday cake I'll have a little bit. I remind myself that eating cake at one birthday wasn't what got me overweight in the first place - it was all the cake I ate everyday. Yes, after an event maybe my weight rises slightly, but as soon as I go back to cooking from scratch it comes down again.
You've got to live. Whatever way you decide to lose weight remember this is forever. If you don't think you can live without eating bread every again, don't cut it out completely. It's all about moderation and balance
Hi Drums. The fact is that you and your friend seem to be taking comfort from each other in that she is as ( if not more ) overweight as you. Your threat to her is that you will lose weight and she can’t. Her threat to you is that she is actively encouraging you to remain overweight. But, is that real friendship? Surely real friends want the best for each other? I have a very overweight friend. She knows I am trying to lose weight because of my health and doesn’t mention her size to me. She commented last week on how well I was doing but that’s the only time we have discussed my weight loss since I told her I was going to lose weight.. When I went to hers for lunch she did fish and salad for the main course and fruit for desert. That is a healthier friendship, I feel. She is not trying to lose weight herself and remains happily overweight. We just do not discuss each other’s take on a healthy weight. It seems like in some way, your friend needs you to be overweight so she can be comforted that she is not the only one.
I came to this conclusion because I have two very obese sisters. I used to take comfort from their obesity and tell myself I was not as bad as them so it was ok to be overweight. Of course, it’s not ok. I want to live to see my grandchildren grow up. I want to feel good about myself. I think that’s what you want for yourself , too?
Hope this is not too brutal a truth for you. It’s time for you to take control of you irrespective about what others do. You will feel so much better health wise and you will be beautiful in lovely clothes! Think of all you have to gain by what (weight) you lose on your life’s journey.
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Newbie who has lost the same 2.5 stones several times! Need tips on making this time the last
NEW MUMMY NEW TUMMY 
I am new on this site.
Determined this time!
