Any advice for children who are picky eaters

My daughter needs to lean up and eat healthy too. I'm setting a good example but she does not eat baked chicken, fish or most fruits and veggies. I am at fault because I give her all the bad foods daily but she has thrown up on her plate just from trying to eat veggies. I don't want to contribute but I give her crap to eat because she wont eat otherwise. Do I starve her? She is gaining weight and is very aware of the body changes. She is ten. I dont want to her to have a body image problem like me.

[blackbeauty99]

Hi Hidden

My son use to be exactly the same when he was younger, it was a total nightmare. He would eat breakfast, lunch but not a healthy dinner, the only.things he would eat were things like pizzzas, burgers, chips etc, all the unhealthy foods. He would not eat vegetables the only fruit he would eat were bananas and strawberries. I was quite concerned as dinner times with him were terrible as he just would not try other things.

I took him to the doctors who told me not to worry aslong as he was eating something and will grow out of it. He is 24 years old now and still won't eat vegetables etc and lives on all the unhealthy foods!

I would take your daughter to the doctor to see what he/she says. I gave my son vitamin tablets when he was younger as he wasn't getting enough inside him.

I totally understand your concern and worries, what about cutting her portion sizes down at mealtimes?

I do hope everything works out well and let us know how you get on with your daughter.

Good luck

[Hidden in reply to blackbeauty99]

Thank you. It made me smile when you said he was 24.they grow up so fast. I will try a vitamin.ive been thinking about that. I will watch portion size while I push for better choices. Thank you.

[blackbeauty99 in reply to Hidden]

They certainly do grow up fast.

Unfortunately my Son has passed on all his terrible eating habits onto his children, they are just as fussy with healthy food and would rather have a mcdonalds than a plate of meat and veg.

I am reliving it all again with my grandchildren, nightmare!

[Hidden in reply to blackbeauty99]

I bet it is a nightmare. I only have myself to blame because I am giving her the bad foods. I just don't know how to get her to eat better. I will keep working on it.

[PippiRuns 3kg]

In Denmark there's a children's hospital that seems to have cracked the code to child obesity. You might find some inspiration in their regime bbc.com/news/health-29755469

My son (13) is slim but doesn't like most vegetables. I make sure he eats them anyway by mincing/grating them finely and hiding them in everything we eat - in pies, casseroles, stews, sauces, soups, meatballs .... He knows I'm doing it and he loves what we eat. He just doesn't like the texture of most vegetables. But raw carrots sticks and recently also celery stick - especially if served with a yoghurt dip - are okay. We are slowly but surely moving in the right direction. He sits a lot in front of his computer and gets really sedentary unless I tell him to do something else. We have recently started running together.

My daughter (10) eats more varied food and exercise a lot as she is a gymnast. She's healthy, slim and fit but she worries about getting fat. So sad that children her age are so aware of body images. To take the pressure off her tiny shoulders I have ensured her that if she just eats what I serve, and not everything else, she will not be overweight.

We have adopted a couple of the rules in the link above. We only have take-away a maximum of once a month, we only drink sugary fizzy drinks once a week, same with sweets. We don't have sugary breakfast cereals in the house unless it's vacation time and we are only allowed one little glass of fruit juice in the morning. The rest of the day we drink water or milk.

I think the advice given by this hospital is sound too ucsfbenioffchildrens.org/ed...

I hope you can turn her around.

[Ceals in reply to PippiRuns]

Great rules Iben

[Anita44]

Hi Melhall, unfortunatley I have the same with my 2 girls, they are 11 and 13, I try to be healthy much as I can but they prefer to snack on crisps and chocolates, but they do get loads of excercise walking to school and back so least it's better than nothing. I do buy loads of fruit and vegetables that they like so that they are getting some goodness in their diet. It's difficult as they see other slimmer girls and wish they were like them, maybe if we stopped buying the 'rubbish food' they might stop snacking on it, oh well we can but try our best.

[Hidden in reply to Anita44]

Thank you. I have cut back on buying some of the junk but I will do better.

[Ceals]

This is such a toughie. I am grateful that my (married daughter with 4 children) has picked up on all the healthy eating I am doing and is changing her children's meals whist they are still young. Keeps telling them it is healthy eating and school also talk about it so they are happy.

She makes smoothie for them very morning as part of their breakfast and pits a bit of spinach in and other good things in. She also calls them milk shakes.

I have just started dehydrating apple slices for them, they call they apple crisps and they can't get enough of them. Going to try sweet potatoes too.

Keep on trying as she will benefit in the end, but you are right not to force issues that will be damaging to her self-worth and body image.

Maybe get involved with some exercise with her, scooter, swimming, roller skating?

[Hidden in reply to Ceals]

She swims and we walk at the gym three times a week. Thank you. Great job with your kids!

[Ceals in reply to Hidden]

Keep at it Hidden every bit you do is better than nothing. Excellent that she is a swimmer and gym walking.

[AlexandriaUK]

Hi u don't say how old they are, if under 16 I'm guessing you do the shopping and cooking, they can only have what's in the house, if you buy crap food then they will eat it, there the children we are the grown ups, have a locked cupboard, if they eat the healthy food then they get treats, if they don't eat it then they go without, you may think I'm harsh but would you sooner they didn't end up obese, fat children sadly often end up as fat adults, if that's there choice it's fine, but if you have helped them get that way then its not fine.

Tough love I'm afraid is the only answer, let them pick food from online and you cook it, you can have healthy burgers, not all food that tastes good is junk food.

[Hidden in reply to AlexandriaUK]

She is ten and you are right.

[AlexandriaUK in reply to Hidden]

Sorry my reply was a bit harsh, it was just that my grandson was the same, hes now 22 and has been through a bit of a hard time with teasing, he's now toning up but although he wasn't massive he's really having to work hard to get fitter, he has lost the weight but I think a medical wake up call spurred him on, they used to have a cupboard full of rubbish because he wouldn't eat any thing else.

Sorry for though, I had no right to lecture, I myself went from being plump at 13 to anorexic until 30s and still have food conflict

[DRS54]

I am 63 and my kids are now 28, so I am firmly in dinosaur territory when it comes to parenting. That said, we used to have a rule in the house that you have to try anything, even if it was just one Brussels sprout (and wrapped in cheese to make it more palatable). And you could always leave chips, but not meat or veg once you had helped yourself to your portion. Never had any real problems when we were firm with them, but started much earlier than ten. I'd try involve your daughter in cooking/making fun sandwiches with a variety of good ingredients and maybe buy a cookbook appropriate for her age. With school holidays coming up, you could invite a couple of her friends and let them all get creative. Just choose what you have in the house wisely. Good luck!

BTW, when the Brussels sprout hating daughter was at uni and had her Xmas lunch there, she still helped herself to the one explaining that "it is tradition". The other students couldn't understand why she wouldn't have more or none, if she didn't like them.

[JiminyCricket 7lbs in reply to DRS54]

that made me laugh, I'm EXACTLY the same! I always have 1 sprout!!! And I have the same rules for my own kids - you try a bit of everything - if you dont like it, thats fine, but you can't have an opinion if you dont try it.

[JiminyCricket 7lbs]

My kids LOVE cooking - how about giving her one night a week when she is in charge of cooking dinner? It will be a hassle to start with, but it will get easier - my 14 year old son rocks the kitchen! (though not the washing bowl so much!!!). My 9 year old daughter, just starting now with puddings really. Make sure she thinks about all the components of a healthy balanced meal. I bet she'll love looking for recipes and getting the ingredients. Learning about cooking is such a good gift - knowledge is power.

Fun puddings are a good way to engage kids with real food too - like banana splits ~(go for frozen yog instead of icecream), or meringue nests stuffed with loads of strawberries (try greek yog on top with a little sprinkle of 100s & 1000s instead of cream). We make our own ice lollies too, which is basically a frozen smoothie - much fruit, honey, greek yog and taste-testing is involved.

As well as the trying everything rule I have for my kids, the other important one is not insisting they eat everything on their plate. I say they have to listen to their bodies and stop eating when they are full. If they have left loads I don't throw it away until I'm sure they arent going to come back and say they're still hungry. We have dessert a good hour afterwards, sometimes more. I'm 45, so my parents were wartime babies who had to endure rationing, and eating everything they were given - but this was my childhood rule too, which isnt a good thing in a world of plenty. I'm trying to break this cycle with my kids, and help them to feel in touch with how much they should eat, and I have to trust them to be in charge of that.

Good luck!

[Hidden in reply to JiminyCricket]

We used to have crock pot Saturdays together.. Maybe I should do that again. Thank you.

[Rignold 3kg]

I follow a fairly similar regime to PippiRuns .

My children are allowed one 'cheat meal' a week: the Fabulous Friday Family Feast, when they can watch a film of their choice (age appropriate of course), have a bag of crisps, a bottle of (sugarfree) pop and pizza or burger and fries or sometimes fish & chips etc.

The rest of the week they eat what they are given. I am not utterly fascist about it, and do take into account their nutritional needs at 7, 10 and 12 are different to mine, so I will make them spaghetti carbonara, for example instead of the kale based delight I will be having. They really dont like eating kale. Unless it is baked into kale chips. We also have 'themed days so "Taco Tuesday" when we have Mexican style wraps and tacos and they can choose what they put in them (with the proviso they have to have lettuce/tomato/guacamole if they have chicken/beef/cheese) and "Wagamama Wednesday" when we have Japanese style dishes.

I understand they have sweet tooths because kids do, and they do get puddings every day, but made from scratch and more fruit based as often as possible. Refined sugar is a nono. They get a proper breakfast every day: eggs or omellete or overnight oats etc except Friday when they can have cereal.

My youngest is the fussiest and will whine and cajole for up to an hour at mealtimes, but eventually eats up. We have a rule that everyone may leave one ingredient on their plate: beetroot or celery in a salad for example, because some people genuinely dont like certain things, but everything else must be eaten, or at least a significant amount of.

The problem I have is on the occasions they go to visit their mother, who feeds them all the junk and chocolate and artificial crap they can cram in. Not only is this nutritionally very bad for them, but it sets up a very bad relationship in their minds with food. They see their normal diet as 'boring and dull' and the junk as 'daring and naughty/fun'. Worse yet, my eldest, who is 12 now sees through this a bit and sees her mother using food as manipulating tool/weapon. Not that this stops her from eating it, lol.

Kids and food. It's a problem whichever way you slice it.

[Hidden]

This is such a tricky one and I'm probably going to sound very controversial, but I speak the truth.

My parents brought me up in the 80s. Before internet, phones and computer games where kids played out for hours and even if they were being fed rubbish, they most likely burnt most of it off through exercise.

When I was at school there were 1 or 2 kids in the whole school who were overweight - nowadays when I take my kids to school at least 1/3 are and I would say I have seen a few cases where children are so obese they can hardly walk.

It always makes me laugh that if we were to starve our children we would be prosecuted, but why aren't we for making them fat?

My mother was strict with us. We ate regular meals, but we weren't allowed any snacks between meals except fruit. We had to eat everything we were given or we weren't allowed dessert or privileges were removed. As a result, I now eat everything, I would say there is nothing I don't like, except bananas 🍌 lol I have tried them though at least.

I have followed the same rule with my kids. They are 7, 5, 4 and 1. Of course kids wil kick up a fuss about trying new things, but you have to be consistent and follow through. It is not easy, but you are the adult and in charge, behaviour is learnt, not inherited and you can change things. Make rules and stick to them and your kids will thank you for it in the long run.

There is plenty of stuff online that can help. Check out the change4life website for example.

Of course it doesn't mean that they can't have junk food - mine eat biscuits, chips, ice-cream, cake, pizza etc. but it is in moderation.

Take baby steps. If you are at all concerned about your kids' weight, speak to your GP or their school nurse.

Good luck ☘️

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. Great advice!