Need a little help

[Dizzy57]

Where do i begin im ashamed of my size i think my kids are ashamed of me.

[FarmerGeddun]

At the beginning. I'm not being facetious, but everything has to start somewhere. You've started by just joining this forum. Welcome.

6 weeks ago I was obese at 16.5 stone, I decided I was fed up with being ashamed of my monster belly and decided to record everything I ate. Wow, what an eye opener. I suddenly realised that the 12" stuffed crust pizzas I was eating in one sitting had enough calories to last two days, and that's without counting the sides to make up the free delivery. I also decided to buy some scales and took the leap to weigh myself, 104kgs in new money.

I read a blog that talked about discipline over motivation, that discipline is there to get you through the things you might not want to do, to get the reward afterwards. Waiting for motivation is self defeating. That waiting for a reward to begin a task meant that the task was always unfinished, as you were never "in the mood" to begin the task, and ultimately reduces your self worth. Being a natural born procrastinator it was just the thing to give me the kick I needed. Since then I have had an almost daily reward, whether it's looking at the scales in the morning to see a new, lower figure or seeing that my belly is 3" smaller, or knowing that my BMI isn't counted as obese any more, just overweight.

I now plan most of my meals, take some regular exercise (whatever I can do with a bad back) and have joined one of the weekly weigh-ins on here. It's working for me, the weekly weigh-ins, they're full of support and completely absent of any ridicule. I can't emphasise how joining in, with people in the same position, helps with your determination. I also occasionally partake in the daily meal plans, mostly I steal meal ideas. You'll find that it doesn't have to be a dreary life of rabbit food, plain crispbreads or shakes.

The best bit about all of this? It's not the weight loss, or the reducing waistline. It's the personal satisfaction I've got from sticking to it, and the fact that I'm not really hungry during the day. Yes I've slipped up during the 6 weeks (I was tempted with a pizza after losing about 3.5lb one week), but it didn't make me feel good the way it used to.

There are loads of people on here who will cheer you on, pick you up if you stumble, and give good advice for what works for them. Not one of them will be put out by you asking for help, that's what we're all here for.

[Cymrawes in reply to FarmerGeddun]

Interesting read .Agree with you 100% about 'motivation' . No-one can make that decision for you .There comes a time when you wake up and decide it is right for you to try harder .Who knows why? I do know that it has to come from within.That way , we stand a chance .

[Wadestreet in reply to Cymrawes]

I love your reply Comrades!!. You need to love yourself within to make those positive changes and keep talking to the people in the forum.

[Tiggerr in reply to FarmerGeddun]

Nice response.

[IndigoBlue61 in reply to FarmerGeddun]

Lovely reply FarmerGeddun 😊

[katy9617 in reply to FarmerGeddun]

wow farmer, you are the one! I agree, now that I understand, that motivation is not a feeling that will come along eventually, you kind of have to make it. I have been here off and on for a long time and have managed to lose a whopping 12 pounds. in a year. I think it is just water, lol. anyway, you have made me look at my lack of discipline and I am going to try, right now, not to eat those cookies I was planning on eating now that it is the middle of the night where I live. I may not be able to walk well, but I can give it a try and if not I will ride that dusty stationary bike I have sitting on my front porch. THANK YOU!!!!!!!! you are the best

[Roset16]

Hello. Nice to meet you. One of the best places to start is by looking at the Pinned Posts where you can find a page called Welcome Newbies. It gives lots of help in getting started, which you have done by posting here. The Pinned posts are at the side or bottom of your post depending on which device you are using, tablet or mobile phone. Good luck.

[Janecad]

You've had some great info in the replies which I can't add to so I just want to say welcome, we've all been there, that 1 upsetting thing that made us take stock.

Post on here, asking any questions, reading other people's posts, it is such a boost. You'll get loads of support. 🌷

[moreless Administrator 7 stone]

Hi and welcome, Dizzy

Take a look at the Pinned posts section to the right of your screen (bottom if you're using a mobile), or in the drop down on the 'Posts' page (it says 'arrange by'). Read the Welcome Newbie thread, then move through to the challenges, where we hope you'll find at least one that will appeal to you.

Move down to the Topics, to find a variety of threads, collated into specific topics for ease of access and we ask that you also 'file' your own threads, so that others won't miss your important news.

Take a look at the NHS 12 week plan, as a lot of people have been successful with it, making sure to enter your details into the BMI calculator, to get a calorie allowance tailored to your personal requirements. Don't forget to take your starting measurements and a 'before' picture, as they can be very motivating on days that the scales refuse to co-operate.

To the right of the HOME page (bottom on a mobile), you'll find Events. In there, you'll find links to our daily Weigh-in's (you will choose just one day per week), our Daily Diary, where we post our menu and exercise plans, for accountability, advice and support and our “What's happening today” thread, where we pop in for a chat.

Be aware, that the HU app doesn't give you access to all of our important features, so we advise that you use the full website page.

We've found that to get the best out of this community, we need to be active on the forum, as it's where we exchange information, get motivation and inspiration and make friends. We hope that you'll join us here, regularly, too.

It's only left for me to wish you well on your journey

[Bernieis8]

Don't be ashamed you are over weight

Which can be addressed over time and with help

And you will get help here

Just look at those great responses

Take time and just do it

Remember fuel is food for your body

It will not solve any problems

[VickyDLM 2 stone]

Welcome!

Glad you've found us, even though it sounds like you've found the straw (the one that broke the camel's back)!. I would highly recommend the 12-week plan as a great place to start. Can't otherwise add much to FarmerGeddun 's stellar post.

How old are your kids? Because if they're teenagers it's probably just that and not your weight (teenagers are always embarrassed by parents, it's genetic you could be a rock god and they'd still be embarrassed by you! ). On the bright side, they do grow out of it!

[katy9617]

I think our kids are always ashamed of us no matter if we are Heidi Klum or not. they get better when they get much older. nevertheless, do not be ashamed of yourself. once you like yourself, you will be more apt to want to do something to get healthy and will lose the weight as a by product of getting healthy. there is tons of good advice in here and lots of great recipes and we all are not ashamed of you so chin up!