I know this is not the right place for what I'm about to say, but right now this is the only place I feel able to put into words how I'm feeling without upsetting those close to me.
Those of you who know me may remember I explained 3 weeks ago that my 89 year old Mum had broken her ankle and as she was unable to put weight on that foot she had come to stay with me. Things have moved on and Mum is now back in her own home as she wanted to be there and to be honest I was pleased to get my home back to normal, whatever that is! My husband calls into her by 7am every morning as he passes by on his way to work and I'm there by 10am and stay with her making sure she gets a hot meal at lunch time and generally looking after her until 3.30 when I go home. Mum has carers going in twice a day, morning to get her out of bed, washed etc. and into her armchair, then evening to help her back to bed. As difficult and tiring as this is we thought we would just knuckle down and get on with it, it was only going to be 6 weeks after all is said and done...WRONG!
Mum was supposed to go back to the fracture clinic at the hospital on 1st July but the hospital transport that was arranged to collect us failed to arrive so she had to re-schedule for yesterday (a week late), despite me contacting the transport service on Thursday to confirm they would be picking Mum and me up,they failed to turn up, however, after many phone calls and angry words they finally arrived to pick us up at 3.30 for her 2pm appointment. But it wasn't good news from the Dr. apparently when Mum first went to A&E the Drs there failed to call the orthopaedic specialist to look at her and simply put her ankle in plaster when in fact she needed an operation, that added to the fact she had gone an extra week without being seen by the consultant due to transport not picking her up means my Mum now has to go into hospital next week to have her ankle re-set. It turns out Mum broke both sides of her ankle and now needs a metal plate one side with a screw through from the oposite side, minimum of 8 weeks in plaster following the operation. Now have the district nurse calling in every day for the next month or so as she has to have an injection every day to thin her blood to stop it from clotting due to her just sitting in her chair all day. My poor Mum is distraught, she keeps saying she wants to die, that she has noting left to live for and is ready to go, I get it...but I hate to hear it, it's tearing me apart. My darling Dad died nearly 3 years ago and I found it very, very difficult to come to terms with losing my Dad, this is bringing all those feeling back. I'm an only child, although I'm surrounded by a close, loving and supportive family, I feel so alone with no one to share my grief, worry and upset with, I know I'm just feeling sorry for myself, wallowing in self pity, but it's how I feel, if I told my husband and children my feelings they would tell me how they are there for me, how much they love me etc etc and I know that is all true, they are and they do, but I still feel like I'm doing this on my own. I've gone back to old habits and comfort eating, I haven't weighed myself for 3 weeks and although I'm conscious of what I'm eating and trying to keep the calories down, I know I'm putting on weight, I can feel it, and it's a vicious circle, eat because I'm sad and worried, then I'm fed up because I've eaten too much.
If you're still reading, thank you and sorry to have gone on for so long, I have so much I want to say but wont bore you all with it, strangely enough it does help just to put some of my thoughts and feelings into words...thank you for listening.
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Jenever
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So sorry to hear all this! Don't really know what to say. Will be thinking of you. Don't do this on your own. Speak with your Family. Re eating that I can sympathise with.
Take time over this & don't put yourself down it's tough but with time you'll start to see things differently. Remember you're not on your own
I can sympathise with you 100% as I went through very similar with my mum its heartbreaking and so exhausting I had my dad in a home with Alzheimer's at the same time and my sister had a stroke I had to cope with it all All I can say is try to stay strong and look after yourself I don't blame you and no one else would for comfort eating This situation won't go on forever your mum will get better Grab all the help you can as it is out there My mum said she wanted to die all the time and my friends have said the same about their parents Sadly its what we as lovely caring daughters and sons have to do It will get better Try and be really good with your eating if you can and save up a treat for the evening you will enjoy it so much more Mine is a 2 finger Kit Kat !! Take each day as it comes and try and keep smiling I came through it and you will and then you can really concentrate on your weight and you Take care
Cat 33
Life isn't always easy unfortunately and even though people say you need to stay strong, it's easier said than done. You've done really well writing this post. Sometimes the best thing is just to get things off your chest, and the more you talk about it, it CAN get easier. Personally , I actually think is better to talk to strangers than your close ones, not because your family wouldn't understand, but for some reason sharing things with someone else helps more (weird, ha?).
All I can say is that I hope your mum feels better.
Regarding food, I would suggest compensating with exercise. I find running helps me clear my head when upset, and burn the naughty doughnut.
I am so sorry. It is distressing when things like this happen. You have every right to feel upset and let down. It is awful to see our parents in paints or distress especially when we are unable to make things better. My Mum (who is now deceased) was visiting her doctor regularly as she was putting on weight - the doctor told her to cut down on what she ate and keep dieting. Eventually I called an emergency doctor who had her admitted to hospital to find that it was not fat but water. Unfortunately by this time it had damaged her heart and her lungs and we were told she had a year to live. She died within that year.
Your mum will feel down and upset. She is probably worried about having to have an operation and being chair bound for so long. But you are doing your best and that is all that can be expected of you. You could try getting her interested in a hobby that you can do together e.g. crafting. But you know her best.
With regard to putting on weight. Try to substitute some 'stress' snacks for healthy 'snacks'. Keep them available at all times. Prepare your food in advance - so you are not picking. Have plenty of low calorie soups available - and have soup before your meal to fill you up. Try not to worry about putting on weight - just do your best not to 'comfort eat'. Curly Wurly's are good to keep in as they do not contain too many calories - rice bars etc. When you feel really upset - pop in an exercise dvd - the exercise will change your mood. Finally - talk to people who are close and understand - talking really does help.
I hope the operation goes well for your mum and she gets better soon.
I feel for you Jenever having our parents ill and eventually losing them is an extremely challenging time no matter how old we are 😕 It is understandable to feel as you do and it's good you can come on here and share, I hope it has helped. 😕
On a practical level, you need to take care of yourself, physically and mentally, so you are able to support your mum. She is having a dreadful time, a story which is disgracefully frequent in 21st Britain 😡😡😡
Be kind to yourself, exercise is an excellent suggestion as it will help release positive mood enhancing endorphins as well as burn some excess calories 😊
I can empathise a little although my situation is slightly different to yours. I lost my mom suddenly 9 years ago and dad had to be placed in a residential home last year as he has Alzheimer's and kept wandering off late at night. He was brought home by the police a few times. When he has rare lucid moments he expresses that has no reason to live and would better off if he never woke up again. No reassurance from me that I love him and want him to be here makes any sense to him. All I can say is that your mom will recover from her operation and life will go on for both of you. Can you talk to your doctor about how you feel? It seems that this is draining you. You need to be strong to take care of your mom. You can't do that if you're not taking care of yourself. I understand the comfort eating but long term it's not going to help. Just take one day at a time and take any help that is offered from friends, family or the nhs. Could your children help at weekends to give you a day off? Don't feel guilty about needing some 'me time'. A change of scenery will do you the power of good and maybe your mom as well if she's up to it.
Keep us posted with hers and your progress and feel free to offload any time. We are all here for you.
I can only add my own good wishes for your sad and stressful problems to the good advice already given by others. It did occur to me that as your Mum is clearly having lots of contact with the Community Setvices, there may be a possibility for you to have some support too. Also are there any convalescent homes still operating in your area?. Maybe a short stay between the hospital operation and her return to her home in due course. This would make your visits to her more of a social occasion too. I do hope that the operation goes as smoothly as possible and you can start to see a happy way forward for all of your family. All kind thoughts. Sheila
What a lot you have to deal with! It sounds like you are doing an amazing job of taking care of your mum and that you are doing it with love. Well done on stepping up to the challenge.
You can't control the situation but you can control your response to it.
Establishing a routine of healthy food and exercise (if you are able to make time for it?) will nourish you, restore mental balance and give back a sense of control.
However if it feels too hard to do this then do as the others suggest, & line up the healthy 'good' snacks to fuel what you need to do.
I would also create some me-time for relaxation because you need to recharge your batteries.
Jenever I'm sorry for the way you feel , I was 23 when I ve lost my 49 years old father . Feels like yesterday , I still grieve after almost 4 years . It's hard for you but it's hard for your mum . I can see that you are doing your best for her but I think you should understand her as well , being old and sick is no longer fun , makes you tired and depressed . I've been a live-in carer for 2 , 84 and 81 years old sister and OMG the struggle with them is so so real , so much hard work and they have all kind of requests as they need help with everything . I know it's hard but what if when you feel stressed you listen to music ? Or you dance ? Or you watch a comedy movie ? Or you go for a walk or you just take some time and breathe , you don't have to be there for everyone ! You have to have time for yourself , to heal wounds , you need a good night sleep , a hot bubble bath , a new top and a holiday !
I trust you'll be fine !
oh dear 😞 what a terrible thing to happen, to you and poor mum. Sadly the services often make mistakes which have terrible knock on effects. Poor mum nust be really feeling it knowing what is coming, and you too being an only child. This is the right place for this, I think so anyway as its affecting your eating pattern. I can only offer words of comfort to you, but I do feel that if somehow you can get back on track yourself you will cope so much better with the situation. I recently went through depression cos of OA pain and started binging on food again, and it made me feel miserable and unable to cope. I know your situation is a lot worse than mine, but I did get back on track by being on here and although the pain is still there, I am coping better cos I am in control of myself and my eating. I do hope that you can get control again, as it will help mum to see in control too. Good luck, keep posting and try to move forward. Best wishes to your mum too. Tell het I said hello. X
I think you have to take one day at a time, it is very stressful, but I am sure once your Mother has had her operation she will start to feel better. You have to have some time for yourself, if this is possible. Just going for a walk and hearing the birds singing or meeting a friend, just to recharge your batteries.
I had my father bedridden for ten months before he went into a home, I was worn out although I did not want him to go into a home. Is there anyone else than can help? Can her friends or neighbours pop in now and again.
I sending you best wishes, keep your chin up.
Let us know how things are going, we are all thinking of you.
Thanks for having the courage to post this summary of your present family life.
Many of us are will or have been through this sad stressful situation, in fact if one changes the scenario slightly it mirrors my life right now and my Sister in laws for the past 5 years also my best mates family and so on.
I have no specific advice to give you but just want you to know you are not alone in your despair of life's pot holes, we can all only hope for a smoother road ahead and in the mean time do what makes you happy when you can, and if that's food, throw in some walking if you are able too. Good luck to you and your Mum x
Sending good vibes Jenever. The way you've written your post is very clear and self-aware, it sounds like you're just a couple of actions away from stopping the vicious circle of eating. Maybe make a list of things you can and can't change. Eating habits belong in the category of things we can change. Have lovely bowls of fresh fruit to hand, get the comfort food out of the house, and remember that looking after yourself puts you in the best possible position to look after others. Think of other things you can help with too, you can't fix what's already happened, but the future can be made easier with small actions and a positive attitude
I'm so sorry for the problems you ae facing. Its always mie difficult when our parents are in need. They've always looked after us and now the roles are reversed. Instead of being able to turn to mum for help and comfort, you are now "the mum" for your mum. My advice is to "cut yourself some slack" as they say. Yo have a huge amount on your plate. Lots of people relying on you. Husband, children, mum... it feels like an impossible task. So, firstly remember that you are doin an amazing job but you are only human, not a robot, so if course you are struggling. Who wouldn't? Your mum is lucky to gave you on her side and she knows this. You should speak to community services about some respite help. Don't beat yourself up about comfort eating.its a, default setting for most of us! Find out as much information you can about what help you can get for your mum - and above all be kind to yourself! You're doing a great job! Xx
You have a lot on your shoulders at the moment and although there is a lot of practical support around you the emotional burden must be overwhelming. Please talk to your husband and let him know how you're feeling, that in itself will help. Your mother is very lucky to have such a supportive daughter. Your husband and children are lucky to have a wife and mum who are putting there welfare first which is exactly why they will want you to seek their support. I hope your mum's operation goes well
Keep strong honey it will pass I went through similar to you while also dealing with my disabled husband getting 3 granddaughters dropped on me a ten month old a two year old and a five year old, as my sons marriage was having problems when he was overseas with the army ,I ended up having to put my mum into a residential care home and I ate through guilt more than anything but it all turned out well the kids went back home to a restored marriage and my mum lived on for another 8 years till she was 93 turned out my best ever decision in the end .
I'm sorry to hear what's happened... is it worth asking the hospital/social worker to transfer your mum to a 'heath and well being bed' or 'transitional bed' whatever they call them now to get her back on her feet after the operation. This will help with a number of things - mobility, full time care (which will allow you quality time with your mum instead of being her carer), social interaction with staff and others to help mood and motivation.
I feel very much for you in this situation. Life is very hard for you at the moment, having to deal with your mum's feelings whilst still grieving for your dad. I understand how you feel about your family - of course they would be there for you, but they are not your mum and cannot fill that hole in you ..... they have their own hole to fill. Just as you would not have been able to replace your dad in your mum's life, your family cannot replace your mum in yours. But you are not alone. They will still be there no matter what and, eventually, it will become enough. However, your mum hasn't died yet. And no matter how she feels about it, she isn't really going to get that choice.
I wonder if the person you need to talk to is actually your mum. Not in a 'I don't want you to die so stop saying it' kind of way but more of a 'life's a bit of a bugger isn't it but I need you to know I love you' kind of way. Have you talked to your mum about your dad? She might find it too upsetting to do so but if she doesn't, it might help you both. Talking about things like, where did you meet?; what did you think of each other?; may help to bring back the good memories for your mum and you will get an insight into their life you perhaps didn't have that you will cherish forever. Though you might already know all this of course - I don't know your family situation.
The bottom line is, don't beat yourself up about not eating well. You are going through a tough time. If you can hang onto the coat tails of sensible eating, fine. But if you don't, then don't worry about it. There will be time enough to get back on track when the situation with your mum settles down. I was going to say 'when life gets back on track' but when do we ever feel things are going as they should - for more than a few days anyway!
You might want to check out whether your GP surgery has any counselling on offer so you have someone face to face to talk to and get upset with as a safety valve on your feelings.
Anyway, good luck. Post here if things get too much.
So sorry your going through this, I know what it is like been there with my father. Now I have my Uncle on Thursday's he is in first stage dementia. Somewhere along the way you turn into the parent and they the child. I have 6 other 1/2 siblings from my fathers side and yet I did it all (even lived furtherest away). Now many of my friends are in the same situation.
You will have many downs but the up's are worth it. I call it pay back time. This is just the beginning. Honestly there where times when my phone would ring and I would dread it ( now what does he want) once I turned up at his nursing home to be greeted by a carer who told me 'they no long clean his room, change his bedding, wash his stuff etc that was his daughters job, great like I don't have enough to do eh.
Your mum will moan, get cross, cry etc imagine your a fit person who now relies on others to even get you out of bed. She will feel she is a burden on you. Especially now with her ankle episode. Be patient with her. Make sure you have you time that is very important, someone told me 'you care for them but who cares for the carer?' There is a device called lifeline, they hang around their neck if emergency press it and it contacts 999 they then contact you look into that. Cook some meals to freeze your mum can get one out to either microwave or put in the oven. So you know she is eating.
It would not surprise me if there are alot of people on here doing through the same thing. You can message me if you want to talk.
Good luck with your Mum's operation she will be fine.
Being an only child makes it so much tougher because you have no one else you can just call and say "Your turn!".
And I too understand why your Mom would be wishing her life away but it must be so distressing for you to have to hear that and what do you say? There really isn't anything you can say to try and fix it for her.
Poor you I completely empathise - its feel so unfair when it's like this.
Can't add anything that hasn't already been said. Could your mum lodge with you for a few weeks?
So sorry to hear of your troubles! We had similar experience before our dad died and it's all down to poor communication! One department doesn't know what the others are doing! I hope that your mum gets the treatment she needs and is soon on the road to recovery hugs and blessings xx
Hold your Mum's hand a lot and listen. keep telling her it will all improve even though it's miserable at the moment and try to get her outside or into any different surroundings as much as possible. See if there is anything you can think of that can make her feel useful - ask her advice on something, does she knit or sew? is there something you want made? recipe advice? - anything that can make her feel she has a purpose other than to be looked after. Encourage her to do as much as is possible on her own so she doesn't feel so much of a burden. Is there anything to prevent her sitting peeling veg for instance?
For yourself, you could try something I am having success with. I purchased a book called the Beck Diet Solution. It's not a diet, but a method for keeping you on track with whatever diet you have chosen. It's done using cognitive behavioural therapy (a therapy used by the NHS for various things so there's no quackery) and the woman who wrote it, Judith Beck, is the daughter of the pioneer of the therapy. I have since read another book of hers called the diet trap solution which I have found even more helpful and it is available as an audio book. It helps you deal with problems such as comfort eating, celebration eating, eating for stress and tiredness, overeating etc
Hi Jenever, I can't add to all the advice others have given, but know you are not alone. My mother also wanted to go, she was tired and ill, and wanted to be with my dad again (he had died 7 years previously). I wanted to have her in my life for as long as possible and was devastated when she did finally go. The one thing that helped me was the knowledge that I did everything that I could for her while she was here, and I need have no regrets.
We are here for you if ever you want to 'rant'. Hope your mum feels better soon and the op goes well.
I just wanted to send you a big hug. I can't add to anything that people have already said, there are some amazing replies - with many really great suggestions and comments.
I hope you're coping ok today and that the weekend is going ok so far.
Hello, this sounds horrendous. I think you sound like a wonderful daughter, and your family sound very nice. Its ok to say you feel crap and exhausted too I imagine. A couple of years ago my friend was murdered, my dad had a psychotic breakdown, my daughter was self harming and I started to drink heavily as well as comfort eat. I thought my life had exploded into hell and there was nothing left but to eat and drink myself into oblivion. I also became hypothyroid which I think is genetic but also kicked off by stress. However 3-4 years later life is a lot happier, still a long way to go but relatively normal! I would just like to say to you that you are doing great- this will pass! I find now im in a better place I can tackle the food issues, and don't drink at all. Be kind to yourself for now, and when you feel ready think about little things you can do to lookafter yourself, a nice bath, hot chocolate etc. I find eating high protein curbs my huge appetite for sugar and carbs! Hang in there and know that you are a great daughter!! Best wishes x
I've just read your post - and absolutely no thanks needed. This is a good place to vent your feelings and it seems like the only way you've got to lower your stress levels at present. You will all get through this but, as you say, it's heartrending to hear your mum say she wants to go. If you can hold things together enough to get the op over then your mum will be over the worst and you might find it gives you comfort nursing her back to health. You'll be able to spend some quality time together talking, reminiscing or whatever. It must seem such a blow to feel that you are right back at square one with her medical treatment but you've taken a huge step towards helping yourself (and, in turn, your mum) by finding an appropriate place to let out your feelings. You are right, family aren't always the best people to offload onto but there are people on this site who can identify with what you are going through. We care. And, as for eating, just try not to beat yourself up, this won't go on forever. Much love.
Hi there isn't much I can add from what has already been said above but my dad has said the same thing to me he even asked "why did you not let me die" he was recovering from pneumonia in critical care at the time and spelt it out to me on an alphabet board. Since then I have lost my only sibling to breast cancer, I gave my job up when my dad took an overdose 3 years ago which he survived because my mum has Alzheimer's. It is so hard having to cope whilst still having family of your own at home and a husband with multiple sclerosis. All I can say is take all the other help you can, arrange a time even 20mins or so for yourself, go for a walk, take a long bath, even update how you feel on here, be in a room on your own warm drink in hand sit and relax have a little you time even short periods of time once or twice a day. My dad is a very stubborn person and has hurt me continually by what he says to me but I have learnt now I have to be selfish make others do their bit too otherwise I am on a road to nowhere. Your mum must feel so down herself maybe if there is something she likes to do that you can share a jigsaw, a lighthearted TV programme to take your minds off things a little and make you laugh. If you need a little bit of food comfort what the heck take it anything to get you through the next few days. Good luck I hope your mum is ok with her operation and you find a little time for yourself too you sound like you have a lovely family to support you. Sending you a virtual bunch of flowers for you and your mum. Take care Bev💐💐💐💐
Hi Jenever. So sorry to hear your story about your poor Mum. How could the hospital fail to speak to an orthopaedic specialist especially when dealing with an elderly person who would have fragile bones. It makes me mad. So all that you have just gone through was for nothing really. Glad to hear that you have support at home but as an only child myself I can really sympathise with you and agree that even though you have support you feel like you are doing it alone. I hope it did help a little by getting your thoughts off your chest and know from all the replies you have that we are all here for you any time you need to vent. I hope that maybe you can have time to yourself for maybe even just half an hour over the weekend to go out for a walk or sit and read a magazine so that you can recharge a little. You need to look after yourself too. All the best
Hi, thanks for sharing, it was a bit like you were retelling my past. You have my sympathy, it's very hard both physically and emotionally. The best thing you can do is look after yourself so that you are strong enough to cope. If you are feeling fit and healthy you will be able to be face the trials ahead. Your Mum is bound to be worried about the operation but hopefully her spirits will be lifted by your love and kindness towards her. Hope all goes well x
read your story and Ive gone through a similiar experience with my mum recently.
like you i am an only child and mum and dad are both in their eighties.
3 years ago my mum complained of back pain and to cut a long story short she ended up in hospital for a week cos she had multiple fractures of her vertabrae
My dad bless him was unable to cope as mum had done everything for him and he didnt even know how to put the heating on in the house let alone cook a meal!!
Anyhow Mum had her op and got back home only to be told several months later she had myealoma and had to go for treatment for this every month.
She went into remission 18 month ago but recently she hurt her back again and after being told it was a muscle spasm an MRI scan showed she had fractured another vertabrae. Another operation was needed and she was told again the cancer had come back so she had to go back on the treatment again.
I go and see them every day and do shopping etc but they are very stubborn and insist on doing housework themselves even though I know they are struggling
Ive tried to keep the running up through this and although some days i almost didnt go out I forced myself and felt a lot better for it!!
It is bad to be only child. I am too. Quit beating urself up. This too shall pass but may not pass as fast as u wont it too. Love ya. Hang tight. U got this!
Hi Jenever, Sending you a big hug as I know you probably need one. I can understand where your coming from it's hard caring for a parent when they are hurt and depend on you for all their needs. I was my mom's carer for a long time, she even moved in with me to make the caring easier but it was still hard. I know it's hectic running around all day but try and take some time each day for yourself, maybe while the nurses or carers are with her, take a little break just to recharge your own batteries so you can focus more on yourself. While I was caring for my mom I got so tried I crashed my car because I fell asleep at the wheel, I was lucky no one was hurt, but it made me relook at who could help share the care. My mom used to say the same things as your mom says she doesn't mean it probably just frustrated at everything going wrong with her health. I hope your mom gets better soon. Take care of yourself and remember your not alone.
Rose
I really feel for you, I also looked after my ailing parents when they got older. The thing is, even when we are not there physically we feel all their sadness and pain.
Both of my parents are gone now and when I look back I wish I had done the following:
looked after my needs too
taken some exercise each day, even a walk
looked at the flowers and nature
had a massage now and then
eaten better because I needed to love me too
talked it out with someone anyone.
spent time with friends laughing
for my parents I wish,
I had cuddled them more and longer, I had just listened without offering advice. I wish I had just showed empathy and not so much sympathy. I hope everything settles a little for you and I send you my best wishes and love (and strength). xx
Dear Jenever, I too have an 89 year old mum who was disabled 2 1/2 years ago by the hospital being lax. She too moans constantly about how she can no longer walk. I'm sorry but I am very firm with my mother. I know it sounds cruel but they wallow in self pity otherwise. I tell my mum that she is not the only person who can't walk and that there are plenty of people younger than her who are in wheelchairs. Does your mum have any hobbies that she can do? If she knits then get her to knit for a charity, or get her involved in a new hobby. Also ask for more carers for her, she is allowed 4 a day. That might take the pressure off you a bit. Also can she come around to your house instead of you going there, or book a taxi for her and take her out for a trip somewhere. There are plenty of dinner clubs out there for pensioners. Phone Help the aged, or whatever they are called now. They are very helpful and will give you plenty of support. Also don't stay at mums so long during the day. If you live fairly close just pop in and stay for an hour, then check back on her during the day. If you are still dealing with the hospital then tell them what you want for your mum. My mum is currently in hospital and the hospital wanted to send her home. I have told them no as she has been sent home so many times with promises of follow up appointments. I have told them now that she is not going home until they do the scan that they promised when she was admitted over a month ago. Also she hasn't been showered since she has been in and her hair was filthy. I told them I wanted her bathed and they have now done it. It's terrible when you have to beg for everything. As for your mums ankle, the ankle usually breaks both sides. My Aunty broke hers and it took 3 months to mend. We are all friends on here and will support you through this. Take it a day at a time and take care.
I have, throughout my fairly long life, always found it cathartic to write down thoughts, frustrations, anger. One no longer carries it about in one's head....it is out and exorcised in some way. As a child I would thump out angry messages and letters to imaginary people on an old typewriter and tear them up afterwards. Now I do it in WORD and delete it. It's out then of my "system". Very useful. Chin up! Your Mum would have done it for you when you were a child and though understandably frustrating, believe me you won't regret it when she's no longer here to comfort and support.
I know where you're coming from. You have 41 replies at time of typing so i know you have lots of sound advice. I just want to lend my support and virtual shoulder. We are all here for you and you sounding off on here is fine by me 😁 Good luck my sweet xx
Oh! what a horrible time you are having. I do know what you are going through as my mum had a huge cancer op last year and for a time was very down. It is so difficult especially as your mum sounds like mine and is generally strong and gets on with things. It will get better! I know comfort eating seems to help, but you will regret it and you feel so horrible afterwards. Please try to eat well, you need to keep healthy for your mum's sake. It is difficult as an only child - I do have a brother, but he didn't once visit my mum in hospital in over three weeks because "he doesn't like hospitals"!! It was no picnic for us either. There is nothing you can do about the failures of the hospital - it isn't going to change the current situation, so you need to be strong and get on with it. At the end of the day, another month down the line and hopefully your mum will have had the op and be on the mend. Just try to get through each day as you can and be kind to yourself. Get rid of any extra work or pressure you have - get your husband and kids to help out as much as they can, eat well and try to get enough sleep. If necessary herbal sleeping pills are good to help you at night which, like me, is when you start the worrying! Take care x
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You've done really well writing this post. Sometimes the best thing is just to get things off your chest, and the more you talk about it, it CAN get easier. Personally , I actually think is better to talk to strangers than your close ones, not because your family wouldn't understand, but for some reason sharing things with someone else helps more (weird, ha?).
I'm having such a terrible week!
Hello!!!!!
