Shame

I haven't posted much on here recently, I haven't weighed in on a Monday, written any posts or replied to anyone else's and the reason is I'm ashamed. I joined this site a few months ago, determined I was going to turn my life around, I'm a scientist, I've done the research, I know the theory. I know what I need to eat to get all my nutrients, I know what my daily calorie intake should be, I know what not to buy and the exercises that work the best. But I've failed. Since I signed up to this site all I've done is put on weight. Exercise isn't the problem, I work out 4 times a week and love it, always have done, I've never stopped being active whatever my size, plus I walk to walk to work every day. I know that what I eat contributes significantly more to weight loss than exercise.

But for some reason I can't seem to break old habits. and every-time I slip up I think, OK, well nothing I can do about that now but I'll start again next meal. and then the same thing happens next time and nothing changes.

And I know what people are going to say, don't have tempting foods in the house, well I don't but that doesn't help when there's a Tesco 30 seconds from my house. It's not much further than my kitchen!

I guess I'm just wondering if other people have gone through this at the start, or any point in their journey, and what got them through it.

[Hidden]

I'm exactly the same although I didn't sign up to this NHS choices until a few days ago and logged my start weight today. Like you I am very active and do 6 gym classes a week, even though I'm 20st plus, and absolutely love them. I've lost weight in the past so know exactly what to do however I can easily sabotage myself and like you have a corner shop practically next door. I completely understand where you are coming from.

I have found in the past that writing down what I eat and when has been a huge help and its when I stop that I fall off the wagon. So I'm starting that again as from today and hoping that with my 12 week plan, my food diary and the support of people on here I will be able to get to where I need to be. And you will too. Take it day by day, baby steps. And don't beat yourself up over what you have or haven't done. You can't change the past so try not to dwell on it.

Good luck determined! We are all here to help.

[Norni Visitor]

Poor you. I wonder whether you are trying to do loads of other stuff that requires will power as well. Apparently we only have so much will power, maybe you are using yours up on other stresses and commitments? One of the things I found that helped was reading lots of books on healthy eating (not diets) and watching videos on good nutrition. This was not because I didn't already know the info but because it had a sort of positive brain washing effect on me!

I think it is really important not to feel hungry or deprived. Much easier to resist temptation when you stomach is full of good food. What else can you do to self nurture apart from eat? Do those things instead.

I'll be thinking of you and cheering you on. Be kind to yourself, you deserve it.

[Hidden in reply to Norni]

Thank you. Thats some really helpful advice. I think i'll try the positive brain washing approach. Not something ive tried before so definitely worth a shot!

[moreless Administrator 7 stone]

Do you have trigger emotions, eg boredom, loneliness, sadness etc, or do you have trigger foods, eg chocolate, crisps, bread etc?

If you can highlight what's triggering your over eating/ bingeing, then maybe you can work out how to stop them. If you're an emotional eater, try to do other things to comfort you, eg visit a friend, take up a hobby, log onto this site. If you have an addictive nature where one piece of chocolate leads to several bars, then eliminate it from your diet, like an alcoholic eliminates alcohol.

I hope you find the answer to your problem and find happiness in weight loss

[Hidden in reply to moreless]

I think I have more of an addictive nature rather than emotional triggers because I tend to eat the same things at the same times of day, so it's an enforced habit more than anything. so I need to cut it out completely really, mostly processed sugar. I'm an all or nothing kind of person, but the idea of cutting certain things out forever I find a bit daunting so I think I'll do a month at a time and then it won't seem quite so imposing and I won't have the urge to 'just have one last binge and then start tomorrow'. Or at least, that's the hope.

[moreless Administrator 7 stone in reply to Hidden]

I'm exactly the same, I just can't "do" sugar in moderation. I have eliminated those foods from my diet. The first week or so was difficult, but you just have to grit your teeth and push through. Coming out the other side is so liberating. Whilst I still say a piece of chocolate, or a cake would be nice, I don't have that overwhelming urge to scoff as much as I possibly can, in the shortest possible time

I am fully aware though, that I'm not "cured". As an addict, I don't believe I shall ever be able to eat those foods in moderation, so abstinence is the only way forward. Fortunately, just like alcohol, you don't need chocolate to survive

Good luck

PS I haven't had any sugary product for 12 weeks and counting now

[Hidden in reply to moreless]

Thanks, I know what you mean, I've done challanges where I've given up sugar for a month or 6 weeks and then at the end thought, oh great my cravings are gone, I could have just one piece and I'll be fine, but nope, full blown bingeing within a week or so. It needs to be gone forever! Hopefully with the support of this group I can do it. Thank you for always writing really supportive comments!

[moreless Administrator 7 stone in reply to Hidden]

We're all in this together, if we're not prepared to help each other, there's little point being here

I'm gutted I'll never be able to eat chocolate though

[Jenever]

Well it sounds as though you are well aware of where you are struggling it's just how to clear that hurdle. I agree with Suzeeb that writing notes about your feelings and what was happening around you when you do over indulge is a huge help, this is something I did myself and discovered that I always went off the rails when something unplanned or not scheduled into my day occurred. Just being aware of my own failings and weaknesses helped me to prepare and be ready for the unforeseen circumstances. It may just help you too.

I also believe when you are the type of person who has a career and is organised and professional, there has to be one small part of your life where you relax and let go just a little, I had to learn to redirect my "relax and let go" away from eating...just a thought.

[Hidden in reply to Jenever]

Thats a really good point, i hadn't thought about it like that before but it makes sense to need that outlet. I'll look at where i can redirect it to in the future.

[Jh1973 in reply to Hidden]

Makes sense for me to. I joined the site a couple of months ago and feel exactly the same. I exercise a lot, am very disciplined in my career, know all about nutrition and what I need to do, but just haven't got going. I beat myself up about it every day in the hope that I can turn this into the motivation to tackle it. However, reading this, I think I need to learn how to be kind to myself. I do find it very difficult to relax, as I always think I should be doing something and achieving something, every minute of the day, whether at work or at home. I feel optimistic mow about finding a way forward !

[Hidden in reply to Jh1973]

In one sense it's really nice to know I'm not alone in feeling this but on the other and I hope we both get through it and stop beating ourselves up about it

[3rd-Time-Here 6lbs]

Hi determinedandready

Don't be ashamed, the fact that you have posted again on here is testament to the point that you haven't failed but have come across some bumps in the road.

You are aware that it is the food that you are eating which is causing you to gain weight and not a lack of exercise. I haven't really experienced what you are going through so cannot comment to much on ways around getting through this phase. All I would say to you is that hiding away will not help, keep logging on the the forum and you may just pick up one small change which you can adopt and that will put you on the right track. There will inevitably be more bumps along the way but we're all in this together and hopefully you will find the support here helps.