Weight and Depression

[iku88]

First post here.

I'm 35, I've been obese for most of my life and I'm tired of dieting and struggling and stressing for everything I put into my mouth. I've gained a lot when my mother died 15 years ago but I'm now closer to weight twice what I should weight at my age and height.

I've been diagnosed with depression in 2017 and I'm worried it is now coming back.

Please, please, please: tell me what worked for you. I don't know what to do.

[WorriedUSMom]

I don't know if this will be of value to you, I've never been obese, so I can't say what worked for me will work for you. I'm a student of Abraham Hicks, a channeled entity who promotes the concept that we are creating our own reality with our beliefs and that every situation is perfectly designed for our personal growth and evolution, so you are evolving through this very difficult challenge.

Abraham teaches that it isn't food or money or sex or anything else that is the problem. The problem is our relationship to food, money, etc. I know I saw food as the enemy, which is really not the best way to deal with something that we need to do at least 3 times a day.

The first step is really calling a truce, not only against food, but against our self that we believe the food has caused the problem. Abraham says you have to look in the mirror and love what you see before what you see can change. Whatever you can do to start loving yourself, including your body is the starting point.

I stumbled upon the power of loving my body when I took up rollerblading. At 55 years old, I was amazed that I could really do it, mostly that my BODY could do it. I started affirming my gratitude for my AMAZING body, not in it's appearance, but in its functional abilities. Any affirmation of gratitude about our bodies is the start down a much better path of living. (Gratitude is really the cure for everything in my experience, even in the darkest times, there are things to be grateful for, find them.)

I don't know that this would work for others, I don't eat much variety and I love spreadsheets, which may be pre-requisites for success with this plan though I have a friend who uses an app to track the calories, but here's what I did.

It is important to remember that the goal at this point is NOT weight loss. The goal is to just take a baseline of what you are eating now. It is to start eating only things I love to make eating more enjoyable, not a negative experience. I started with a list of my favorites: breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, fruits, vegetables, and fiber. I wrote out a plan for 3 meals + morning snack + afternoon snack + evening snack, so planned eating 6 times a day with my favorites as my "Plan to Eat." (I actually started all this because I hated cooking and though having to eat 3x a day was too hard to figure out. Having a plan, my next snack at 3:00 is pistachios and orange juice, means I don't have to think about it). My snacks also include mini cherry cheesecakes, deviled eggs, and mini tootsie rolls (allotted in 100 calorie batches to make tracking easier).

My spreadsheet has my Plan to Eat all set up with the calories, which I add to as needed, and I just check them off as I go through the day. If at any point I decide I want to lose weight, I can easily cut back the portion size or substitute some lower calorie options.

I do believe, however, that accepting who I am, including what I look like means even if nothing changes or even if I get bigger. It means believing in my inherent worth as a human being, period. I finally asked myself what had I done that was so horrible to not like myself and realized there was nothing there but my messed up beliefs created from our messed up cultures.

Ekhardt Tolle says suffering is caused by the difference between what is and what we expect. When we can't change what is (biology!), the suffering can only end when we accept where we are right now. With self love, everything else is possible and no longer necessary. Best of luck! You are worthy, no matter what you do.

[Emelisa]

For me it's been taking a step back and drawing a line - I'll never be slim and I've no idea how to get rid of the big belly (so depressing the guidelines for it) but I've found dieting doesn't work for me - I keep falling back into bad routines. I'm trying to create new habits - I've lost several kgs this way. Look at what i did on a daily basis and identify one bad habit each week or couple of weeks - for example snacking on a bunch (or pack :() of biscuits - and look for a healthier alternative so you don't feel you are depriving yourself - and focus on that one goal for the following few weeks until it becomes habit - adding more goals over the weeks whenever feel can/have capacity - I've found a few lower calorie treats which still feel like treats - having to make them is a bit annoying 😂 but makes a big difference - things like getting a dark chocolate bar and melting it and spreading it onto a tray with parchment paper and sprinkling seeds and nuts on top and letting it cool then breaking it up into bits - get so much more out of it and feels satisfying- or some date truffles or ginger biscuits or lower cal tea loaf. I still have carbs as get really bad headaches if I don't eat but I've gradually minimised the amount on the plate. I've learnt recently that having a piece of fruit on its own isn't the most ideal - having a handful of nuts at the same time helps regulate blood sugars. And above all else I'm moving more - but lower effort exercise so I do couple of things every day (well most days). It's hard and I've gone forwards and backwards but overall have gone forwards. Having an accountability partner to share the goal with and check in daily with no judgment was also great. I'm not sure if any of this will help but if you want to chat just message me. Take care x