PCOS Depression.

[itsrocknrollbaby]

Hi, I was diagnosed with PCOS When I was 14 after years of doctors telling me there was nothing wrong and that I needed to "suck it up" nd that really really heavy and long periods were normal. I Was on my period for 3 and a half months, I became Anemic and almost admitted into hospital before they decided to do a scan; the scan revealed cysts and that I have a lot more follicles than what would normally be there.

My question is, do people suffer with depression at all? For years after iv always blown off and tried to hide all the symptoms. Shave the hair, try and lose the weight, hide the pain and most of all deny that I ever want children.

That's the big one for me. I do and I always have, want to have children, I am fast approaching the age where everyone around me is now having families but I feel I will never be able to carry a child. It is really affecting me and I can't stop feeling so down and angry at the world. At the moment in time I'm not in a situation where I would be happy to being a child into the world (housing situation and career starting off) however I'm feeling that if I don't start trying soon it will never happen even with help.

I honestly don't know who to turn to, family don't want to help, doctors try to fob me off and my partner just tells me not to worry but I do, it has really started to worry me more and more.

[Hols969]

Yes there is a link between depression/anxiety and pcos, they do not know if it is the hormone imbalance or the symptoms that contribute to it.

It is extremely rare not to conceive just due to pcos so try not to worry, there is so much help out there too. It took me 3 years to conceive Noah when I was 36 and did via IUI, he is now 12 - when I was diagnosed 25+ years ago I was told I would never have children - sadly they still seem to infer that but its so not true, we are not infertile by any means we just dont always ovulate, some ladies need no help, some a little more and some IUI/IVF so honestly dont worry, our egg quality remains better for longer, it is the only advantage of pcos

I would get your body in the best possible shape (BMI needs to be below 30 to qualify for fertility treatment on the NHS), also a 1/3 of fertility issues are men so your partner needs to be in good shape too (my husband had lots of dead and two tailed sperm but it improved by 100% by being on the Boots Vit C and zinc tablets.

Honestly ignore that ticking clock as you have many years before you need to consider it, stop worrying.

Lots of pcos ladies are on anti depressants too so if things feel too much then consider them. I got PND when I had Noah and was on them for about 5 years, off for about 5 years and went back on them a year or so ago as was extremely stressed and anxious, they are non addictive and in my view bring back the light to the end of the tunnel. There are lots of different sorts so if one doesnt suit then try another. The combined contraceptive pill can help too to level out your mood swings and can make conceiving easier when you come off it as your body will be less pcos. Ive been on it on and off for 30 years.

[Pops0208 in reply to Hols969]

I can relate to this so so much. I’m going through the exact thing. I have sleepless nights thinking about maybe not being able to have children and then my mind goes on overdrive. I start thinking with my partner of 5 years leave me if I can’t as he would love to have a family.

It’s really scary.

[berrybee]

Hi i completely understand your pain. I'm new to this support group and i was diagnosed with pcos 10 years ago when I'd been trying to conceive for 12 months. I also got a double whammy blow that my partner as a very low sperm count so our only option is ivf which my partner is dead set against. I'm 35 and we've been together nearly 19 years he is so against ivf that he would rather let me go find someone who could give me a child but i don't want to start again with someone new, it takes me along time to know someone and trust. I have only spoken to 2 friends about this issue and i haven't told my family. Now 11 years on I'm really starting to struggle with this issue and was hoping that some day i might get a miracle but I'm also waiting for an appointment to check for early menopause so my game may be over. Stay strong and i really advise you speak to your family about it as it's my biggest regret and is something I'm going to tackle myself in the coming weeks. Good luck

[Hols969 in reply to berrybee]

How many sperm tests has he had? Is he eating stuff with zinc in it or taking zinc tablets ?

[berrybee in reply to Hols969]

Morning

After we'd been trying for 6 months and had no success. We both started taking vitamins to help so he was already on zinc with other vitamins and i was feeding him plenty of greens. His first test was 7 million with 94% abnormally formed and 97% not swimming, once we got that news which to be honest made me feel a little relived that the problem wasn't only with me i scrolled the internet for more information on products that may help. I heard so many good experiences with fertilaid for men i thought we've got to give it a go, so for 6 months he tried that upto his next test which came back slightly better at 8.2 million but the other aspects had not changed because things had improved we decided to continue with the same vitamins for another 6 months and test again but this time the result was worse than the first he only had 5 million the abnormality was the same but this time there was no swimmers. The specialist suggested that this may be because it was the height of summer and the temperature was affecting his production is sperm. This i think was when he'd given up. He as never really wanted kids and i have to respect that he as at least tried for me all those years ago but now 10 years on he is really set against trying anything anymore. He's 43 and I'm 35 we've got our own business which is extremely physical so we live and work together and his hope is to pay our house off in the next 7 year's and retire so he's even more off having kids now than he was before not wanting a child at home in his 60's but the need for me is getting worse and is making me depressed. I just don't know what to do anymore. I've never had councilling but with what's going on with my body now my gp as referred me back to gynae for blood tests (checking for menopause) and ultrasound (to check my ovaries for more cysts) and councilling i just wish the appointment would hurry up.

Xx

[Hols969 in reply to berrybee]

ooh that's really tricky - I presume you are not eligible for IUI due to your husbands sperm count? I conceived Noah with IUI which is not as invasive, as my hubbies sperm was dodgy too (borderline for IUI). I also think its a little unkind as well, at 35 everyone knows their fertility is declining (pcos ladies egg quality remains better for longer so we can conceive later) and to suggest you go off and find someone else is quite hurtful in my opinion as tbh it isnt really an option as its like starting again.

TBH I would be a bit peed off if my husband had said that, unless he had always said he didn't want children, he let you believe there was hope, yes you can get a bit more selfish as you get older but I was 36 when I had Noah and he is the best thing we ever did - I have to say I wasn't particularly broody but partly I think because I was always told I wouldn't be able to have them that I shut that part off. I decided to try because if it didn't work then it didn't work but I didn't want to regret not trying and wishing I had.

Noah was only a 13% success rate and it was hard going which is why we only have him, but I am so glad I tried.

I think you have to make your husband hear you - it isn't just about him it is about you as well, men don't tend to get broody but women do so he doesn't understand that aspect.

Could it be fear of it not working that makes him not even want to try, so he is trying to avoid the heartache and disappointment if it doesnt work as that could be quite possible, also the fact that his sperm is dodgy he probably feels even worse about that as it is his fault so maybe its easier for him to bury his head in the sand and if he doesn't try then he doesn't fail again !! Men are quite complex when it comes to their fertility, it makes them less of a man (they think), I know when we were TTC my husband had 'performance' issues as well due to the stress of it. It was much easier when we went onto IUI as they we could have sex if we wanted rather than having to do it by a timetable!!! It was 3 years of that so had changed how sex felt by then and luckily a lady can just lie back and think of england but not so easy for the men.

Sending hugs

[berrybee in reply to Hols969]

He did want kids when we first started trying it was after his test results his attitude started to change. I think that he does feel like a failure and is worried it won't work and he's more worried about how it will affect me if it doesn't. No we've not been offered iui only ivf. We're not married yet we are getting married in July next year which i think is why he's given me the option, to go and find my dream. I don't want to start all over again cos by the time i trust someone, more years will have gone by (Don't even know if its possible) and i don't want kids with anyone else.

We had only been running our business 1 year at the time we found out so decided to concentrate on expending that so we put having kids on the back burning. I've had a few broody moments over the years but stayed in hope for a miracle and always have. Then when i started with irregular bleeding in January which as continued every month since I've started to worry and the full force of broodyness as kicked in along with depression but with my other symptoms and my mum and nanna starting early menopause my gp thinks I'm suffering the same. I'm now becoming more depressed thinking my body as given up on me and my dream will never happen. I wish the appointment would hurry up and I'm praying for good news.

[Hols969 in reply to berrybee]

Good luck, I would discuss it with him again though and really go for it as your age is still ok from a fertility point of view because of pcos. I think he is suffering from fear, which is understandable really, which is the route cause of him not being willing to try I suspect.