A lighter conversation for the weekend

Sometimes medics can be unintentionally amusing, especially when their first language isn't English (and sometimes when it is!). The lovely locum GP who did my bloods this week had to go and look for more syringes, explaining, "I have been bleeding a lot today." As he returned he amended the statement to, "I have been bleeding a lot of people today."

Has anyone else had some interesting comments?

7 Replies

  • No but I did tell our new specialist that he couldn't be a doctor, his handwriting was so neat!!

  • Consultant who'd been looking after me for the best part of 3 weeks in hospital came in with the usual retinue for ward round. Doesn't trust machinery so took my pulse the normal way and commented it was slightly fast. I replied that was natural when a handsome man walked into the room. (He's older than me and not that good looking). He turned to the others and said 'I won't argue with that'.

    During one of his less tactful moments in a follow-up appointment I came in as he was giving the attending medical student a potted history, adding just as I walked in, 'She's on steroids as you can see'.

  • During an orthopaedic operation 20-odd years ago I had 4 rather dishy Italian anaesthetists hovering around me. I had chosen to have a spinal anaesthetic to have my broken leg glued back together and here in Italy they don't bother with any further sedation so I was fully conscious, the only concession was headphones and music. I never got to listen though as they all wanted to practise their English. One of them informed me at one point "I am very boring" meaning he wasn't enjoying some part of the work (not me) - so I had the joy of explaining the difference between that and "I am bored..."

    I had a hilarious hour yesterday when I had an appointment at the gynae screening check - only gynae consultant available only spoke Italian even though they are supposed to speak fluent German here in this autonomous region (long history). So all was done with the nurse translating (I understand Italian fairly well but speaking is another matter). I was sent for an ultrasound - to a young Italian woman who has just started learning German. She had us in stitches - the nurse spoke German and Italian, they young woman and I were conversing in English and the nurse and I had to sort out her German. Bless her - you get into a two language zone - and the third language that used to be your second language (in her case English) goes all to pot!

  • Lol. A young gay man was admitted for surgery under the care of the surgeon i worked for. Under the influence of the anaesthetic he proceeded to tell the anaesthetist that he had very beautiful eyes. The anaesthetist nearly choked! The surgeon took great pleasure in telling me in front of the anaesthetist, the banter was great lol. xo

  • I had to be admitted onto a day ward in London. When I got there I was immediately told that I had tests to be done off ward. I said to the Sister 'Do you have anywhere safe I can store my case?' She replied 'Yes dear I will wheel it along my back passage' meaning the small corridor near her office. Of course, I had to reply in a Carry On fashion 'Oh matron!' She saw the funny side.

  • Ha ha! I have a good friend who calls the corridor where she keeps the freezer, washing machine, etc, 'my back passage'. So, when my consultant was discussing a recent sigmoidoscopy and began, 'When I was looking in your back passage ...' the only image I had in my head was an elderly chest freezer ... and it was hard not to giggle :P

  • Orsen-trapp

    So funny!

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