I had to see another GP at the surgery today as my usual one is off on his yacht or something. It wasn't thyroid related - I fell halfway down the stairs on Friday, hurt my back and shoulder and had to cancel a 3 day art break I was going on, the first in over a year. I had to see somebody ASAP to get a form filled out for the travel insurance. So up to the surgery I shuffled, feeling even closer to 100 than usual.
I thought my usual GP was bad enough, but this guy was so patronising and arrogant and completely horrible that I could have hit him if I could have moved fast enough. He naturally didn't soil his lily white hands by examining me, so I could have a cracked vertebra or broken shoulder for all he cared (I don't think I do, but still). He just asked me how many steps I'd fallen down, and prescribed anti-inflammitories.
No, he was MUCH more interested in my thyroid - but not in a good way. 'What are we doing about your thyroid?' he said, not taking his eyes from the computer screen. Resisting the temptation to say 'Absolute Sweet Fanny Adams', I briefly went through what had happened and said I had eventually gone to a private endo, (And who is THAT?' he wanted to know), who had suggested T3.
He said, 'I find it VERY difficult to believe that Thyroxine could cause any adverse reaction, as it is absolutely bio-identical to the substance your own body produces. It's ENTIRELY NATURAL'. Liar, liar, pants on fire. He went on to sing the praise of Levo, as they all do, blah blah blah, it works for EVERYBODY, blah blah blah...ENTIRELY NATURAL...I tuned a lot of it out as I feared for my blood pressure. There was no way I could have made him listen to anything, so I didn't waste my energy trying. How can they sit there and tell us downright lies? And in such a sneering, patronising way? That's almost the worst part of it. It's like they are deliberately trying to make you feel small and stupid and defeated - like they get some kind of sadistic pleasure out of it. He didn't actually call me a liar, but he might as well have.
They don't seem to realise the days are gone when we would obediently take whatever pills and lies they choose to dish out, when we know only too well that they ARE lying, and if the pills make you feel worse you can now do your own research into any alternatives.
I could feel my hackles rising more and more, (at the same time as my heart was sinking), but tried to stay calm and said I wasn't there to have an argument with him. I said my endo had tried a couple of NDTs and we were now trying T3. I swear he actually curled his lip at the mention of NDTs, and said 'NDTs?' in that sarcastic way they do, as if they've never heard of them. Or I, the patient am not supposed to know about them. That makes me SO mad I could spit.
I practically ground out 'Natural Dessicated Thyroid' between clenched teeth, and after a grunt of disgust he went off on one about how HE didn't know ANYBODY who was doing well on NDT, and perhaps it was time I went back on Thyroxine. I told him I had already tried four times and wasn't going through this hell just for the fun of it, and he just said perhaps it's time for you to try again. In his dreams. Patronising G*T!!!
I said I belonged to a support group with over 6000 members, and they couldn't all be deluded or lying - boy did that light the blue touch paper! He really took his shawl off and got out of his pram, started getting really angry, talking over me, saying, if you LISTENED (yeah he would know all about listening), what I said was 'hardly' anybody does well on NDT (oh, I thought you'd never heard of it??).
Have you noticed that normally they're only too eager to unload you and for you to join a 'support group' - if you were say anorexic or had alcohol problems. Yet at the mere mention of a support group for thyroid, they go completely off their heads! Maybe because they can't control groups like TUK, or because they don't get any extra funding for referring patients to a thyroid support group - because there aren't any on the NHS. You would think any decent GP who cared about his patients would be only too pleased there is a resource we can turn to when they don't know what the hell to do. Some hopes. First find your caring GP.
Anyway, I could feel myself getting to the point where I was either going to start crying or lose it and scream abuse at him, so took my prescription and left. He told me to get a thryoid test and 'just leave the insurance form in reception'. Like hell I will. I stayed for the test, (which I was going to do this week anyway), but no way would I trust him to fill in the form without dragging up some misdiagnosis from my records as a 'pre-existing condition' just out of spite.
Why do they have to be like this? He really seemed as though he actually HATED me once we got on to the thryoid issue. It wasn't even why I went to the surgery, I prefer to have my thyroid looked after by Dr B and discuss it as little as possible with the GPs, as so far the ones I've met are obviously so violently opposed to everything but Levo.
It upsets me so much to be talked to, or rather shouted at, as though I was some kind of batty ignorant moron. I thought my regular GP was bad enough, but this guy makes him seem like a pussycat. Thank God I didn't get him as my GP when I joined the surgery, I hate to think how much worse it would have been.
So much for 'seeing another GP at the same surgery'.
The thing that gets me is that hours later I still feel really upset, wound up and tearful, and so impotent and frustrated. I know for my own sake I should just let it go, and I am trying, but it frightens me and makes me so angry that they are allowed to behave like this. What happens when you need them for something other than thyroid when you have such a poor relationship? I have issues I really need to see my GP about, but hate going to the surgery so much that I keep putting it off because I feel he won't listen to me. So it - the thyroid war - has a knock-on effect.
When you hear in the media that it's embarrassment on the part of the patient that stops them going to the GP for things like the symptoms of bowel cancer (for example) - ie it's all our own fault that we don't get diagnosed sooner - NO! It's because some of us have had so many battles about our thyroid, (or whatever), have been humiliated and made to feel like total idiots, that we don't go because we feel we won't be listened to, and can't face any more confrontation.
Yes I know you've heard it all before, and there are some good GPs out there, and I know there are many others on here who are suffering a worse fate at the hands of their useless opinionated lying GPs. So, sorry for the rant, I just had to get it off my chest. (Or what would be my chest if I had one )
My heart goes out as always to all of you who can't even get diagnosed, let alone treated. What a battle it all is.