Getting caught out

My husband is not majorly supportive in the whole thyroid thing so I never really say oh my legs hurt,or can you see that rash,etc so I come on here and read and ask for advice but lately when I come on here he always comments oh you on there again so much so it feels like I've been caught watching porn.Switching quickly to ebay if he looks over ;)

Am I alone in this?

33 Replies

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  • That is quite sad that he's not supportive. I'm really lucky. The only thing my husband doesn't like is when I'm looking at him, listening to him and typing a response at the same time. Although my brain still isn't 100% I can touch type and listen/talk simultaneously. He just finds it really freaky, lol :D

    Would your husband have the same reaction if you were on a forum about baking or sports? I say don't worry about what he thinks. Perhaps one day leave it open at a page listing all the horrifying symptoms for him to read. Maybe then he'll be a little more supportive.

    Even if he's not supportive, we are ;)

    Take care

    Carolyn x

  • No you are not alone but I get it from my kids they say I shouldn't be looking on here they said I should be asking my GP well told them learn more on here so tend to log on when they are out dont think they realise how bad we get im sure they think we are making it up.

  • Let's hope they never have the misfortune to learn first hand just how bad GPs can be.

  • My husband is the same don't want to know so I just get on with it on my own men just can't handle things like we do.

    Take care we are all in this together.

    Tina

  • Maybe he is a bit jealous that you are not concentrating on him 100%. Don't bother switching to ebay - don't let him make you furtive Just let him know you are getting info on how to get well.

    It's like joining a Club - we have the same interests (albeit ill-health) and the positive side is that some are recovering theirs. We don't even need to leave home either.

  • mine just thinks I'm obsessed (of course it's just a Thyroid thing!)

    but since I've found out stuff like about gut problems, which he has, then it's OK - I do tend to flit over to emails or such if kids catch me perched, and last week away visiting son I was banned :( (but I did sneakily look but didn't have time to post! can't do phones very well).

    but I can now say 'I'm helping with monitoring'

    One thing, discovering Vit D helps me lift a heavy saucepan now - that went down quite well! lol! Yep - additcted to Thyroid porn! he he! actually I'm just trying to get better, as Dr P says 'how to keep your (half a) Thryoid healthy' :D

  • From another point of view - evening Admin work isn't overly conducive to a harmonious home life either...! ;-)

    There's a great blog around somewhere - 'Letter to family' or something - I can't remember what it's called - hopefully someone will help me out! Would be a good page to leave open anyway! :-)

    L

    x

  • I think it's on Mary Shamon's site

  • Hi,

    My husband is also like this towards any site, book or any sypmtom I mention. In the past he has talked about things that are causing him problems so I say it could be thyroid related, not very receptive about that, says he's been tested ( does not know what was tested or results as, you've guessed it, it was normal), plus the dr would know if something wrong.

    Before I got a diagnosis I used to play some online games but had to give them up due o the problems it caused. It was like I was having an affair with my iPad. So it probably does not matter which site you are on, just not totally concentrating on the other half.

    I for one feel better educated towards thyroid with the more I read, I just wish I could remember it all, or some of it, but that will take a while before the fuzzy head allows.

    You are not alone in the reaction you get.

  • If I could somehow relate thyroid to Top Gear, I'm sure my husband would be more interested..........

  • I have the same problem as my husband thinks that my efforts to get well are just dwelling on the illness and is a bad thing, so I often get rants about being positive and getting on with my life. He also gets annoyed at the parcels of supplements and coconut oil, whey protein etc arriving at the door so I dread the postman arriving if he is in. Any thing that is part of my efforts to be well is scorned and put down to an unhealthy obsession, but at the same time I am now so much better that it has to be lived with, I don't understand how he can forget that a few years ago I could hardly walk and couldn't get out of the bath. Now I am normal and no trouble to him and he does not appreciate it at all. So very annoying !

  • My husband is mostly supportive although interest in what I've learnt on here goes over his head and I see the glazed look lol so know to stop. He does make comment similar to fennels oh. Saying I shouldn't dwell on it etc etc saying don't read or you'll have all the symptoms, I try to explain I'm reading looking for answers cos I've GOT All The Symptoms

  • Well, all that makes me so glad I got divorced before I was diagnosed! I know my ex would have been just the same. He was never supportive about anything. All the symptoms I was having for years and years before anyone took me seriously. His attitude was: stop moaning and get on with it, I want my dinner!!! And I have enough now with my daughter who thinks that all this fuss about thyroid is 'purely cosmetic'! Well, sadly, I think she's got a shock coming to her. But there's no way I'll ever be able to persuade her to get checked. Sigh.

    Sorry, Vanessa, that you have such an unsupportive partner. I can so easily put myself in your shoes.

    Grey x

  • Blimey, greygoose, are you sure that we didn't share (ex) husbands???!!!

    I'm convinced that mine put a spell on me cos since I left him my life has been filled with the top ten most stressful life events.

  • Well, could be, he was away a lot! lol

    But, you know, abussive relationships often lead to thyroid problems. I already had mine, although I didn't know about it, but marrying a psycopath didn't help!

    Umm... I'm not sure what the top ten most stressful life events are, but I think I've had quite a few of them: divorce (obviously), death (my mother), moving house (several times), unemployment (lost count), break-ups (two)... Does having my car stolen count? Oh, and my flat mate threw my cat out of a 5th floor window (I suspect!). All since the divorce.

    Yeah, could be the same man. lol

  • I have got to be honest, I donot have a husband that bothers that I'm on my I pad a lot.. I'm very lucky,he supports everything I do. Just one of the lucky ones I guess, which makes me feel awful as when I'm trying to cope with everything that comes with what the thyroid throws at you, cos I shrug off his help and support trying to go it alone....

  • Lol thankfully my hubby is quite supportive. In fact, it gives him more time to watch footsie and Time Team......yes that's right, Time Team. ;)

    Ahhh Grey, I thought you was a man, a very rich man, with handcuffs.......

    I can dream, that's all I'm capable of at the moment. X

  • Dear god, Stormyone! Whatever gave you that idea?!?!? I'm very much not a man, and very much not rich! But handcuffs??? What a wicked imagination you have got! Try Rod. lol

  • Haha, not been on long grey. Rod? Gosh a man is the last thing I want or need, I'd rather have a hot dinner ;) heehee

  • It's the Mr. Grey books or rather number 1, couldn't be bothered to read the other 2! X

  • Ah, yes, I see, Thirty Shades of Grey! Haven't read it. Haven't heard any good reviews of it, so I didn't bother.

    No, with me, the accent is on the Goose, rather than the Grey. lol x

  • I quite agree with you. Unless it was a man cooking the hot dinner. And doing the housework, the shopping, the laundry. A man who knows how to massage my aching back and shoulders, runs me a bath with candles and champagne, and then tucks me up and says goodnight - and then goes back to his own house for the night! Don't want much, do I. lol

  • Lol snap!

  • My husband is mostly supportive although interest in what I've learnt on here goes over his head and I see the glazed look lol so know to stop.

    He does make comment similar to fennels oh. Saying I shouldn't dwell on it etc etc saying don't read or you'll have all the symptoms, I try to explain I'm reading looking for answers cos I've GOT All The Symptoms

  • Ha ha love this, I was accused of obsessing too off my lovely fiancé who is always supportive but I mostly look at these sites when he's at work now. Anyone who's had thyroid problems understands immediately the need for information and sharing it's just harder for those who havnt had problems. I suppose I was the same before I became poorly with it

  • I too have a very supportive husband but lately the more I look into my condition the more he looks at me with that look that tells me 'have you really got that symptom?' or 'are you sure that is related to your thyroid?'. My kids think I am funny and that my new healthier diet is a hippy diet. I guess you just cannot understand it unless you are going through it.

  • lol my husband always says well go to the doctors then argggggggggggg what for the 100th time.

    he hate me feeling ill, it can not deal with it, as before all this, I held up the fort and now the fort is falling and he has to help.

    everything ok if I am the sweet little wife cooking cleaning and looking after his kids. He has been supportive though in terms of g.p, he does make comments.

    my kids love my recall issues, they laugh and say, did you say teas done or teas washed lol if you get my meaning.

    merissa, I do have CBT, to help keep me positive. x

  • Mine is not at all supportive and is angry that I am spending money on a private doctor. He refuses to listen when I try to explain the illness to him and actually tells a doctor at his work about my symptoms. This doctor comes out with all the usual twaddle which my husband believes. He simply cannot grasp that the nhs refuses to treat me because my t4 isn:t low enough.

  • Hi there,

    Very glad that so many people have supportive partners. Mine was not so I left him with nothing and started all over again. I am so glad that I did. However, I am not suggesting abandoning ship as a solution.

    regards

    Lin

  • Oops sounds like I left him with nothing. I meant I left the house with nothing except my months wages. I do like the sound of a vengeful female stripping their unsympathetic partner of everything. Hypothyroidism makes that level of activity very difficult.

  • Haha, we are all hypothyroid in my family even the cats (actually they are hyper) and I'm getting my son tested this week as he is the only one not diagnosed as yet. Dear Italian husband ( and we all know what Italian men are like) has Amiodarone induced hypothyroidism and would still be on 25mcgs if I hadn't kept taking him to GP and insisted on more tests and higher doses of levothyroxine. He's actually not a zombie any more and is almost human but should I say the fatal words "It's probably your thyroid because blah, blah, blah" when queried about some weird complaint/illness then he gets all irate and hot under the collar. So much for gratitude, the least he could do would be to put up with a short lecture on hypothyroidism every so often but then he is the one who shields his eyes with his hand whilst somebody is sticking a needle into somebody on TV!!!....Val

  • My husband is quite supportive as I only got diagnosed 7 months ago, only time will tell! He gets it from both ends, has is secretary suffer with Thyriod broblems as well. We speak on a regular basis, and he happily encourages it.

    Yana

  • Hi, think this is a typical male response to illness,my husband is just the same, l tell him information is power the more we can learn about our condition the healthier we can hopefully become, the other thing they can,t cope with is fear that we may get worse and they may not be able deal with the fallout, l,ve just read out to him some of the blogs he laughed his head off and said hes glad hes not the only male who feels like that, good health to all!! eve x

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