Firstly ..hello bloggers and friends on this site. It's been very quiet on here for the last few days so hope you don't mind if I jump in.
I had to go into town today to pick up a prescription because there was no other way to get it and to get Tel a birthday card. It's is only a five minute walk but I got a taxi to the back door of boots..even waiting for the prescription seemed upsetting today. All day I have had the twitching left eyelid and what I call tinnitus..can't think what else to call it...it's like when you come up from underwater with water in you ears, or you have a shell over your ear listening to the sea as a kid..anyone else get this...a symptom that combined with the headache and eye is really quite distracting..and I realised last night it's there all the time.
It's a short walk from Boots to sainsbury..no more than 200 yds max. Well by the time I got there I was exhausted and it felt like my upper body was on fire and my face dripping. Looking round I could see people having, apparently, normal day. The checkout staff seeing that I was distressed and being kind (it happens every week) ask if there i am alright and there is anything they can do..all I can do is smile ruefully,and say no thank you.
Thank God I can get a cab home with one small bag of shopping.
I got indoors and burst into tears because I felt so bloody awful, exhausted burning up and feeling totally crap.
All I could do was flop on the settee and take relief in sleep. I didn't get up till 1pm....went out at 3pm back laid on settee by 4.30pm. I slept for a couple of hours and now though still on the settee, am feeling tired but better than all day.
I just wanted to post this moan cos I know there will be someone out there who understands and can reassure me it's not in my mind. Like I said I've been depressed...and this isn't it. Except that when I was out in public I was upset at seeing all those normal people enjoying life just because I was flooded with thoughts of how far from that I felt myself, and wondering whether I could ever feel normal again.
Anyway as I said I feel a bit better fir now, but what happens today happens every time I leave the house. Someone, I think Donna, said they didn't leave the house for 23 days..anyone else feel like this? I'm not agoraphobic as such but truly if going out makes me feel so I'll, I can't bear to go out and I only feel safe when I am at home and indoors.i rang the hospital today and they have the results but there is no way they will give me them before my appt next week.
Oh well only 1 week till I find out. I am so glad I found you all and Dr Peatfield because if I have to create my own treatment plan I have half a chance of doing it with your support.