Lost my job. I feel worthless and really can't see any good in my life anymore.

[KornishPiskie]

Can't stop crying and in total shock

[Fruitandnutcase]

Really sorry to hear that, not surprised you are devastated it doesn’t sound much but I’m sending you a (((big hug))) and hope that everything works out for you. I know from experience that disastrous things can turn out ok and sometimes you can end up with better than you had.

You’re not worthless though, even if you feel like that at the moment, you are in shock so hang on in there, something great will be round the corner for you.

[Aurealis]

Hi KornishPiskie, sorry to hear about your job. There will be a better job for you out there somewhere, honestly.

Do you have a thyroid problem, and do you think this was anything to do with you losing your job?

Wish you all the best, breathe the air, take walks, enjoy the sunshine and spend time on yourself while you can. Good luck

[KornishPiskie in reply to Aurealis]

Hi Aurealis, I do have a thyroid problem but I dont think it caused me issues at work. This company created a job to save money and they wanted me to do accounts and reception where you take classifieds and death notices which in itself is alot more work than you think. My accounts desk was in reception area where I was constantly interrupted due to location and the last 2 weeks 1 of the girls was on holiday. They put me on front desk completely on my own and expected me to help with accounts/sales at the same time AND fill in a time sheet of how long it took me to do accounts stuff. I was there 4 months and was very stressed. The accounts stuff included going to the back of the office to collect sheets from sales and put the sales through and then confirm on the system. While also createing new accounts for the sales team through email that I could only access on one computer. Im one person. I made a mistake confirming something and the accounts manager phoned me while I was trying to do the job and I lost it. The thing is I emailed the sales person to tell accounts that that order had to be changed as I was told I don't change orders anymore if I hadnt confirmed it the sales person would have been at me about confirming it. This had basically been going on for 4 months that I didn't know what to prioritise because the manager at the front thought her stuff was more important and the accounts manager thought his stuff more important. My leaving letter said my work was an"unsatisfactory standard"

[Aurealis in reply to KornishPiskie]

That sounds horrendous. You are better away from them, but the letter is naughty. Have you considered making a claim of unfair dismissal - they may just back down. You were doing two jobs by the sound of it!

[KornishPiskie in reply to Aurealis]

Thats what everyone was saying to me who worked there except for the owner and 2 managers. I really did my best but I must admit it's been nice today not stressing about tomorrow.

[Aurealis in reply to KornishPiskie]

You could get advice from citizens advice about what to do - may be able to get compensation, or a better reference. Look after yourself, you’re worth a better job than that one. Could you do a bit of voluntary work somewhere to get a new referee while you sort that out. Or temporary work perhaps? Or do you have a relative or friend who could employ you temporarily? You are better off away from that bad employer. Good luck.

[Hidden in reply to KornishPiskie]

Sounds like they did you a favour, it's must have been hell for you.

Go to citizens advice and get some advice in where you stand also they can help with benefits etc.

Enjoy the stress free time off 😄

[thyr01d in reply to KornishPiskie]

I am really sorry to read this KornishPiskie but sadly I think it happens much more than we know. I hear from a lot of people who have had this kind of thing done to them, but they don't tell family or friends out of shame and feelings of failure. It is rotten, but, perhaps good if it means you can rest more now, I hope you can, for a while at least, and recover.

Big hugs

[Lalatoot]

Life can be overwhelming when your thyroid is out of kilter. Things get muddly, you can't think straight, you are anxious, you are weepy, you feel low and ill. These are all symptons of the illness. This is not the real you. The you you once were will come back once your levels are optimal. This is a hard journey and we are fellow travellers.

[Clarrisa]

I think that there is more & more of this going on these days, expecting workers to do more & more “multi tasking” all at once. It is enough to make just about any sane person feel like a complete failure.

I remember when I had a work evaluation the first thing my boss commented on was how dirty my car was! I had absolutely no energy left at the end of the work days to address it. Overnight it seemed a new standard operating procedure came out that if one’s lab coat was transported to another site it needed to be taken in a clear plastic bag they provided (thanks to yours truly I surmised).

I sat there & took in my boss’s criticism so she ended up by recommending assertiveness training. I did sign up & attend a class but it seemed full of super professional assertiveness training class aficionados.

I remembered a place of work a coworker had escaped to & joined her there, as I felt the axe was dropping. It was not a pleasant experience being so overworked & under appreciated before, but things will (& did) come out in the wash.

I had a art teacher who said to make it you must be either really smart or really nice (to people). One’s fatigue does the talking after awhile. The politics at play at work can be very rough going. Some employers have a way of grinding people into the ground. Try not to let this get your goat. I trust you too will find a better place of work, & be able to put this whole experience in your rear view mirror.

[AmandaK]

It sounds a very toxic environment and you did an amazing job keeping everything going for so long while unreasonable demands were placed on you. I would say you have good grounds for unfair dismissal - but - it's not an easy road to go down and extremely stressful and you have to have good evidence.

One day you will look back and realise that you are best out of such a bullying workplace. Would you be able to set up as a freelance? You have very useful skills and it means you can control your work and work around your health issues. Freelancing isn't easy, however (I speak from experience) and it takes time to build up a business and start becoming successful.

If however you feel it's worth pursuing an unfair dismissal (or Stress at Work) claim make sure you have a lot of support and seek the advice of a union (if you are in one) or Citizens Advice.

Don't despair - I was in a similar situation a number of years ago and realise that I should have resigned well before I decided to leave (I felt as though I was being hounded out and pursued a Stress at Work claim, but didn't have sufficient evidence as I hadn't raised appropriate concerns along the way). It does take a toll on your health and self-confidence but once you acknowledge that the situation reflects on the company and its poor management and not on you, your confidence begins to restore.

With time you see things in a new perspective. And you know what? The organisation I worked for doesn't exist anymore as its toxicity (and certain immoral/illegal activity as it turns out....) finally led to its demise. Justice was done in the end.

[Reykua]

So sorry. I know how you feel. I was made redundant in 2014 - after struggling for some time with health issues. On the one hand I was relieved but was not prepared for the months of mourning that followed. I grieved for my job, for who I was before becoming ill and struggled to adapt to my 'new normal'.

Grieving what was (especially something you loved or enjoyed) is a difficult process and everyone finds different ways to cope.

Grieving is healthy but staying Stuck in your Grief is NOT.

I stayed stuck for a very long time and eventually had to seek help to move on. Remember, You are More than just your job!

My advice, if you'd permit me, is to monitor your sadness. If it still feels as deep and severe after 6 months it may be a sign that you're stuck and could benefit from some support

Don't let your Grief become your 'new normal'. Distract yourself, find a hobby, if you're feeling able, travel and do push yourself out of your comfort zone. Create a purpose built 'new normal' that you can live with.

Endings are more difficult for some people.

Feel, Release then Let Go and Let God.

Gentle Hugs. Stay positive.

[DIYqueen]

Oh boy! How awful. I can empathise with the feelings you express although I lost my job because of poor health (triggered and exacerbated by extreme stress).

I was basically forced to take ill-health retirement at age 54 which means I lost half my pension. I still don't work 5 years on but that is by choice as any stress now kicks me off.

On the upside I have plenty of time to enjoy time with friends and family, work on my garden which I love and volunteer. Volunteering gives great satisfaction - AND can lead to glowing reference. Win-win.

You may need to find work but there are MANY good companies and bosses out there.

I agree you may have a case for unfair dismissal, use union (if you had/have one) and CAB for advice and support.

Many years ago I was having trouble with a particularly difficult student (was teacher). I was in porta-cabin with no means of contact with main building. One day after school this student brought a gang after school and became very violent attacking door trying to get at me with me wedging door from inside. Passing teacher raised alarm, took several staff to bring under control. Just given a detention, not even a short suspension, which initiated a sense of worthlessness and fear as I was expected to continue teaching this boy. Unreasonable expectation as in your case.

Was off for a year, suffered panic attacks etc. I got my union involved. They insisted on phone connection or panic button and/or 'isolating' fences for out of school hours protection. Nothing done in that year. Unreasonable (lack of) consideration of work environment.

There is a point in telling you this. It was stressful but my union did everything for me. At the end I was awarded the year's pay (and 3 months compensation as it counted as 'an injury at work due to mental/emotional injury, even though not physically harmed) and my employer was forced to give me a good reference based on my work before it all started (ie this aggressive boy joining my class).

You have suffered emotional and psychological harm due to being expected to do unreasonable load of work and being sacked due to not meeting these excessive demands. They cannot give you a bad reference (or even sack you!) unless you were formally disciplined and given targets/time to improve.

totaljobs.com/advice/can-an...

You are entitled to view a reference.

Getting good advice (union, CAB, even solicitor if bad reference given, as can sue) is REALLY helpful, even critical in regaining self-esteem, self-empowerment and control of the situation. Tears are normal - I felt such a sense of loss - but try not to let it end there. In your favour things changed in the last 4 months? So you had insufficient time to raise ongoing concerns 'in a timely manner' as mentioned above. Act sooner rather than later even though you won't feel up to it. It is actually better if the advisers can see the real distress caused.

[Gingernut44]

Try looking at the ACAS helpline on the internet, but really think about what you want to do. Sometimes it's best to acknowledge that you're better off out of that stressful environment and, when you're ready, looking for another job. Keep positive, they didn't deserve you 😋

[chrisbuy63]

I am so sorry this has happened to you. It sounded like the work was very stressful and almost impossible to please everyone who all wanted a piece of you at the same time! I hope and pray that you will find a much better and more suited position where you can have a good work and home life balance and actually get to enjoy your work. Please do not suffer this alone, do go and see your G.P and also if you think you have grounds for unfair dismissal ( it sounds like you may well have), then take some free professional advice (legal/Union/Citizens advice). I personally, just think it so unfair that you were struggling and unable to get the support you needed to be able to stay on top of things, it just shows a great lack of employee care by that employer. You are NOT worthless they are the ones with the problem, you are precious and there is no other version of you! Be kind and gentle with yourself and try to do something you do enjoy everyday even if it is just a walk in the park or a nice swim at the pool. Please keep us updated.

[Babette]

First of all, you're not worthless. You're far more than your job. From a practical perspective, taking anything to pay the bills (bar work, shop work) just to stop you stressing. Register with agencies.

All that stress will not have been good for your thyroid. As others have said, they may well have done you a favour and you'll go on to bigger and better things.

If the claim is that your work was substandard, was this mentioned to you before?

If you've only worked for the company for months, I don't think you can make an unfair dismissal claim. (From memory, David Cameron increased it to 2 years.)

You might feel that the additional stress of taking things further is too much. That's perfectly ok. But if you do want advice, the CAB near me has lawyers volunteering so yours might do too, and ACAS (0115 900 2670 or 0300 123 1150, acas.org.uk) are experts in employment law.

I've just noticed that your location is Ireland, in which case ACAS, CAB, and the 2 year employment period probably isn't releavant but this might be helpful: citizensinformation.ie/en/e....

Sending you big hugs and good wishes.

[KornishPiskie]

I hope everyone can see this message because I want to say a big thank you to all of you. You really helped me get through a bad weekend.

I'm feeling so much better and everything all of you said is right.

Im going to relax for the week (still look for work) and catch up with everything in the house and then back on the horse again. I didn't deserve this and they'll learn soon when the next person also leaves.

Thank you! xx

[DIYqueen]

It's so good to hear you more positive. Enjoy your week relaxing. Pamper yourself a bit, housework will always be there

[KornishPiskie in reply to DIYqueen]

where does the washing come from???

[DIYqueen in reply to KornishPiskie]

That made me chuckle! Do have family or live alone?

I live alone now but still manage to create two loads a week!

Before everyone left home I had to wash every day, sometimes twice. Crazy. As soon as mine were old enough (about 7) I started to teach them how to sort, load etc and so divvy up the work.

[KornishPiskie in reply to DIYqueen]

Two of us in the house and a pile you could lose yourself in!

[Pixipot]

Thyroid problems can cause information to take a bit longer to be absorbed and for the brain to keep hold of it, it can make you forgetful at times and tired then it can make you need to pee more and some jobs dont like these little set backs, yes it can be difficult to keep hold of a job, why not do temping?

What kind of job were you doing? I got booted out my job I never let them know I had thyroid problem as the doctor said I was borderline but the above symptoms were the reason. I was doing reception but was fine doing data input and mailroom work I just temp, try different jobs.