After 7 years of pain and misery I want a chance to get well ,.
Let me explain in 2012 I was happy working full time and being self sufficient for my family and children when I became sick with a virus (I was told as I was unable to complete small tasks ,making mistakes, straight to bed on return home due to being over tiered ,pains between my shoulder blades over sleeping for days not even being able to inform my employer ..After a couple of episodes and no diagnosis I was sacked from employment .then to find out I had a abnormal blood reading and I had to start a Tablet that would sort out a gland in my throat ..
My brother was on medication for a underactive thyroid at the time so wasn't made a big thing of in the family ..
Then the depression hit I felt like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders most days lay in bed parylised from the stinging pains and negative thoughts crowded me ,I got stomach cramps through the night for no reason ..my insides would come flooding out ! I would flinch tremble panic..
Would attend the doctors .have blood tests cry ..take suicide notes ,was told so belived it was a mental health condition..and medication..and morphine patches for the pain in my spine due to scoliosis .
Not long after the death of my father from hypothyroid and cancer at 65 did I accept my fate. I got to spend 10 months with him before he passed in the most traumatic way .
I saw that as a failing on my part and attempted my own life .hospitalised for 9 months on and off as feared for my own safety..
I now know I'm not mentally ill and probably never was .
FF>>>2017
Miserable swollen sore all over, loss of bladder control ,mental confusion ..thoughts of death I had realised in the past if I missed a dose I felt better ..my only option if I have a heart attack and drop dead then so be it was my fight back ..I followed the doctors ..
All the doctors that had known me all my life had gone so I fluctuated between the usual 3 not getting pain relief required telling them I felt better but not well on stopping the levothyroxine in Nov 2017 ..
I'm sore my head hurts I sting I cramp im laying awake dreaming of all the things I should be doing..and I'd managed to lose weight and 2 dress sizes (see pics) looked fab but felt lousy and my mental health began to creep back in faintly ..
On seeing all 3 doctors and following all blood tests requested I reluctantly agreed to reuptake the levothyroxine as basicly told they couldn't treat any other symptoms until my thyroid levels were treated and I remember crying and begging but left with no other option..August 18 ..25 then 50 then 75 then 100 then 125 was the doctors plan for me ..without required anxiety meds ( I told myself that was because I'm showing as suicidal ) that's what I get for confessing to them hoping what they say will help me. that's what I told myself ..the doctors cared that's all ..
I am prescribed 7 x 2mg diazepam PRN a month ..
So I began leaving 2/3 weeks between increase and bam overnight my symptoms creaped back one by one and the episodes began I felt worse and struggled to recover ..I used all my strength to recover in November only to be hit with a 4 day episode and has left me still recovering today. I had no choice I had to stop my levothyroxine I already knew this why was I talked back into it ..by the grace of God I don't know how I'm not dead 15th jan 2019
I went to see all doctors with my mother to explain my situation so she could be witness to the lack of compassion or understanding .
They have heard of all my side affects and refer me to mental health as I'm loosing this battle im preparing my mum and family for their loss ..
There is no cure the doctors are at a loss with me and I don't feel have listened to me ..until now maybe.
My mum has been my angel and offered to rush me with my blood tests to a spire endocrinologist..
I really don't want to go on at this point im lowest of the low.
Well no shit Sherlock I have grossly abnormal Thyroiditis?
Hashimotos ..
Game changer or is it
The only medication t3 I'm relying on to help me is no longer available on NHS uk .
Endocrinologist figures this medication may cost 1900 a month and could be eligible for a trial of a t4 t3 combo .
He will request a prescription from gp by referal .
I broke down again like a Peice of me had accepted my death sentence on t4 and I'd just had to agree to take it yet again .
15th Feb 19.
Heartbroken and confused I'm going to be a lottery as to being prescribed it by my gp..shall I just give in I feel like a burden now and it's not nice.
After a rocky start with the gp on monday 25 feb 19 11.29 and a flee to A&E in a distraught state ,there a doctor listened to me and said he understood me completely but it was an emergency department and unfortunately had to be delt with by my usual gp . He also said I explain myself in a clear manner and know my words ,hence this rant ..
I think he thought I was demanding a MRI ,I wasn't.
Ironically he said I would have to have been in a rta to warrant one . Tut crossed my mind on the way to the hospital but knew after I walked out on the doctor and left him sat with my mum that she wasn't far behind me and how could I do such a thing on innocent people too ...
If there is a afterlife I'm not going to be very well thought of ..I have forces keeping me here my family and friends .
I find out Wednesday 27th feb if the powers that be will allow me to trial the combo as that's all that's left to save my sanity and eventually my life ..
If I never ask for anything else from anyone ever again I pray just for the chance to put my plight out there ,
I know I'm not alone on this medication it's cropping up in people all over the world daily and by stopping the only medication available to me I don't know how much more suffering I can take please help me .