I miss it

[WallFlower0610]

I miss having Graves' Disease and Hyperthyroidism... I miss being able to eat anything I like and not put on weight. I miss being skinny. ;'(

[Valarian]

I get what you mean - but there is so much more about the phase where I could eat anything that I would never want to go through again !

[WallFlower0610 in reply to Valarian]

It's all worth it to be skinny.

[bantam12 in reply to WallFlower0610]

Really 😳 you must either have had very mild hyper symptoms or have forgotten just how bad it was.

[WallFlower0610 in reply to bantam12]

Sorry it’s taken me so long to reply, there’s just so much I want to include in my replies plus I’m not sure how to word it all...

My symptoms were very bad, far from very mild. You’re right though I have forgotten - more like I don’t remember how ill I was, I don’t remember much from the very long period I was ill.

[Fruitandnutcase]

Yes, I liked being I skinny too and I miss not being able to eat whatever I like - I went totally gluten free to reduce my thyroid antibodies and an awful lot of the things I liked contained gluten - but I sure don’t miss feeling so weak I could barely stand, having thighs that were so weak I thought I had too much weight in my back pack because I couldn’t get up from ground level without help when, waking up every single night dripping with sweat and waking because I had palpitations so bad you could take my pulse by putting your hand on my stomach because my heart felt like it was about to leap out of my chest, having hands that shook so much my I couldn’t take photographs (my hobby), being completely and utterly exhausted all the time, going to bed at tea time because I was so tired, being too tired to want to go anywhere with my family, being a bag of nerves all the time - especially when I was a car passenger, wondering if I had Alzheimer’s or was I just becoming mentally ill - that was seriously scary, losing friends because I got so intolerant and grumpy and fed up with their annoying little foibles that I had lived with for a long, long time. Just feeling SO tired and ill all the time.

I’m not someone who would ever take part in a ‘my symptoms are worse than yours’ competition but you don’t sound like you felt as ill as I and most people I’ve come across who have Graves felt. I’ve been using this forum for several years and I’ve never met anyone who misses having Graves.

I know my tirade sounds extremely grumpy but I simply can’t believe anyone would want Graves - not even to be skinny. Be very glad you’re healthy again most people with Graves would give their eye teeth for that.

[Valarian in reply to Fruitandnutcase]

oh gosh, yes, I remember that so much more than the weightloss.

I do remember thinking, when someone was saying that they wished they could take thyroid hormone to lose weight, that they'd quickly go off the idea if they took enough to have an effect !

[Ruane in reply to Fruitandnutcase]

I have hyper-mobility as well as hyperthyroid, and I am reliant on my muscles being strong to stop my joints over flexing. I had the thigh problem, it was horrible. It started before I was diagnosed with hyperthyroid and I was devastated myself because my walking was so poor, I thought it was permeant and it made me very depressed. I went for being someone who could easily walk 10 miles in a day to a weak and feeble soul. I'm back to 5miles now but I have to go steady.

[Fruitandnutcase in reply to Ruane]

That’s really interesting I’m hyper mobile too and I had to give up longish distance walking. My Pilates teacher who is also a physiotherapist used to watch me like a hawk. Then I developed tendonitis in August and the podiatrist said the same. I could see how the physio recognised it but I’d barely got going with the podiatrist before she said it. I’d love to know what they see. I’ve now got tendonitis again in the other foot so I’m back to resting as much as I can and hobbling about when I’ve got to get up.

[wagnermia]

I 100% understand how you feel. Your post (and prior ones re weight) are very similar to ones I shared following a radical hysterectomy and trying to sort replacing hormone levels associated w this surgery. As a long term sufferer of eating disorders / body hate w weight guiding pretty much everything in my life (ie weight up? nothing is working. Down? all is in order) this was very challenging. Still is, quite frankly. It was only after thyroid / parathyroid surgery - which magnified existing struggles - and being extremely unwell that I ‘fell on the sword’ so to speak. If I continued to base every therapeutic outcome on weight gain or loss, I was going to remain sick. It was only when moving weight down in priority that the path forward became more clear. Plus treating myself as a whole with much more kindness and compassion for all it had been through... and survived! Life is simply too precious to squander... berating myself for not fitting into pants from 4 years ago or feeling ‘less than’ due to body fat increase. Everyday is a challenge to maintain this mindset but the days are becoming easier and my medical treatment has vastly improved. This is simply my personal experience (not to insinuate that you have any underlying issues mentioned) w your post inspiring me to share. Thank you 💜 M.

[WallFlower0610 in reply to wagnermia]

Sorry it’s taken me so long to reply to you too, reason being much like what I put in my reply to Valarian...

I’ve not been officially diagnosed with eating disorders or similar but my eating is abnormal so are my body and weight preferences.

[Hidden]

It's not such a bad idea (not being able to eat what you want and remain skinny) my cousin was the same we often wondered how she ate so much rubbish and remained underweight for years before her diagnose.

I have never been overweight but do manage to eat a very healthy diet just a variety of things and the occasional cake or sweet. Mostly organic you will have to adjust which will be difficult for a while

[Ruane]

I can understand missing being skinny - I don't miss the tremors, the sweating, the wanting to throw up every single morning, or my heart feeling it would beat out of my chest. I don't miss the joint pain or being unable to swallow without huge effort. I don't miss the insomnia or my boney backside that hurt after 10minutes sitting on a dinning chair, I don't miss the anxiety or the sudden storms of temper that took me and my family by surprise, I don't miss my hair falling out or my skin being dry and old looking but I do miss being skinny.

[Fruitandnutcase in reply to Ruane]

I’ve been thinking about my comments about missing Graves and I now realise that Wallflower has had RAI more than once and is probably hypo and possibly not being treated optimally hence the weight gain which must be really awful.

I became hypo during my block and replace treatment and while it was different to being hyper it definitely wasn’t pleasant either and from what I’ve read on here it’s much easier to get doctors to fix Graves than I think it is to help people who are hypo. So with that in mind I can kind of see where she’s coming from - still wouldn't want to be hyper again myself though.

[WallFlower0610 in reply to Fruitandnutcase]

What's RAI?

[Fruitandnutcase in reply to WallFlower0610]

Radioactive iodine. I thought I read somewhere on one of your posts that you had had it more than once.

[WallFlower0610 in reply to Fruitandnutcase]

Yeah that's right, i had to have it 3 times

[Fruitandnutcase in reply to WallFlower0610]

Wow!