I’ve got the lurgy, just common-a-garden winter lurgy and I have all the usual symptoms, coughing up rubble, sweating, shivering, chest pains, you know that the kind of thing, but it’s interfering with my routine something shocking, yesterday for example I didn’t go for my normal run and I felt really guilty, why? No one except me cares if I run or not, then I started to think about all the other stuff I feel guilty about due my thyroid doing what none working thyroids do, stuff like...
1: Mood swings and irritability (Spouse, “have you taken a screaming meanie pill today?)
2: Lack of stamina, suddenly not being able to cut the grass/paint that wall/wash that car when I said I would.
3: Being unsocial, pick a social situation and I don’t want to be in it.
4: Leaving work as I just couldn’t think how to do it anymore. That was a biggie!!
5: Being irrational, I know it’s irrational it doesn’t mean I don’t feel it!!!
6: Wanting to run away from it all and everyone change my name and spend my remaining years drinking beer on a beach somewhere where no one knows me and I don’t have to speak to anyone.
7: Wondering if I can get away with punching my GP
8: Thinking about me and my illness all the time (am really sick of that one)
9: Thinking that it’s something that I’m doing that’s making me ill, not listening to GP or endo and I can get T4 to work if I just try harder in someway.
10: Wishing that I could explain better to those around me how much I love them and what it’s like having this bloody awful disease without sounding like a wimp.
Am I alone in feeling guilty for being ill?