Been a few days *cough edit: A day...damn I'm so bored* since my last post, thanks for the support I appreciate how self deprecating and how 'oh poor me' it sounded. Well...more of the same. *Mischievous grin*. After getting my thoughts and feelings down here and how I was feeling at the time I decided to get in touch with a well known charity. Samaritans.
Now, it *is* true that me and depression just don't go well together. I kind of look upon depression with some sense of 'I am so in control you're just not an issue'. That's basically how I've gone through life. I feel so centred, so grounded and so in control of my life that I feel able to take my eye of the ball for a few weeks, come back and everything will still be 'fine'. While emotionally for me, everything is still fine, I have felt frustrated and downright annoyed and my current set of circumstances... though how you can feel annoyed snuggled up with a sleeping bag and three hot water bottles is another matter. *smiles*. What I'm trying to say is that I'm pretty sure i hit the safety button as I realised that I'm heading towards a place I really don't want to be going.
I have to say that the Samaritans aren't the be all and end all of help and support. For those with Raynaud's there are many different routes open and some require specific support networks. So for instance by going to groups with people who also have Raynaud's, coming online to chat with others and to offer advice and support. Then there's the whole NHS route with counselling, medication. The RSA and charities that deal specifically with the condition, but the Samaritans can prove to be useful just to, talk or even email.
Being able to talk to someone new, confidentially and getting your worries, thoughts, feeling out in the open or merely just having a chat with them about anything can be of great help to someones emotional state. I feel more relaxed than before and while I appreciate I still have those same said worries, as I thought I had in the first place I know that I can deal with it. My situation is not out of my control and the whole world isn't crashing down on me. There are just a few things which are 'pressures' and are indeed making life tricky.
For someone who doesn't really have a support network, I don't have much contact with either friends or family (and at 24, that gives me an F at being socially-able) nor do I have much face to face contact with anyone in particular. I have personally found that just emailing someone who's prepared to bounce a few emails back and forth, discuss things, even if its just a one way conversation. It is darn useful.
If you're in a similar position where things are just a) getting you down b) frustrating you or heck you just want to ramble. Give them a shout. Or hey, write a blog post!
*beeeeep*
Now...where did I put my electric key...
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Blue-Bunny
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I'm up early to take med with nice cup of tea, checking my email and saw your thoughts posted here.I never thought you were the "poor me" type but every now and then we all need to let loose even if it's just here. I know you're going to be fine soon. You're young and full of spunk (I picked that up from your blog) inspite of your frustrations and medical difficulties.
Samaritians? good move, well done!
You say you don't have friends and family nearby. Is loneliness a problem or do you prefer your own company? Nothing wrong with that but finding support is not an impossibility even if you live in a remote area. When you go to CAB on Tuesday look around or ask for any information they may have about finding some support.
I find this site a great comfort though I am alone but not lonely and live in a lively place with a great support network . However, I relish my own company but I'm not 24.
I am confident you're going to be fine soon. Nothing that I have read from your blogs say "woe
is me", quite the opposite. Your just letting off steam and good for you, hope you feel better for doing so. Keep as warm as possible, eat and drink a much nourishing things as possible. Hope you have a comfortable Sunday. As usual, best wishes.
Dear Ravenshade I read your blog the other day and lots of it actually made me smile because you were trying to put a humerous slant on what for you is actually quite a crap time. I could empathise as I do exactly the same thing when things get stressed if I joke about it its not as bad. often it works but as an older (could be your mum) but not necessarily wiser dont let yourself get low before you seek help we all need it sometimes. Is there a library near you they are usually warm places to sit and people to talk to and have lots of advice cards about voluntary organisations well at least mine has..
You sound like a competant and capable young man and your landlord needs a slap for being so useless at maintaining the property perhaps you could tell him you are going to buy a fire and bill it to him that might wake him up
I hope your life improves I wont say I am sure it will that would be trite but you do not sound like you would give up so good luck and keep sending your bloggs I want to know that you finally get warm.!!! Best wishes to you and your dog by the way what is it called mine is Stella just a mongrel but she often is what gives me a reason for getting out.
I literally have to disagree with the word competent. *contacts Samaritans again*. I have just recently come to understand that my competency level is not as high as I thought it was. Regardless of the fact I have a degree (which, good for inflating my own self esteem is actually not worth the paper...i.e can't even get me an interview...that's not depression talking, that's a fact).
As for my landlord. Shorthold assured tenancy situation. ._.; Don't really want to pester my landlord quite that much at this time. Shelter/CAB have assured me that Landlords tend to issue eviction notices for people in my position rather than actually deal with the problem. So I'll just sit here and worry a lot.
Since your post (and not because of your post because I can assure you that I am actually very thankful for it...) my life just got about two stages worse and that warmth isn't going to be forthcoming in the foreseeable future.
Dear Ravenshade, wish I could help I am a mum and granma with 4 grown up children and 8 grandchildren and used to requests from any of them for help and I sincerely wish I could give you some practical help.
Just a thought but are you allowed a calor gas heater in your home because they are not massively expensive and very warm.
Be proud of your degree you must have worked hard to get it and sadly from personal experience know it often makes not a scrap of difference when searching for work Wishing you well and if positive thoughts are any help at all you are in mine and I am wishing you some luck
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So I'll just sit here and worry a lot. 
Is anybody else troubled by sore mouth/tongue and loss of taste?
Just been diagnosed with Raynaud's a couple of weeks ago
Does anyone live in the states?
Email from NHS: anyone else?
