Been a few days *cough edit: A day...damn I'm so bored* since my last post, thanks for the support I appreciate how self deprecating and how 'oh poor me' it sounded. Well...more of the same. *Mischievous grin*. After getting my thoughts and feelings down here and how I was feeling at the time I decided to get in touch with a well known charity. Samaritans.
Now, it *is* true that me and depression just don't go well together. I kind of look upon depression with some sense of 'I am so in control you're just not an issue'. That's basically how I've gone through life. I feel so centred, so grounded and so in control of my life that I feel able to take my eye of the ball for a few weeks, come back and everything will still be 'fine'. While emotionally for me, everything is still fine, I have felt frustrated and downright annoyed and my current set of circumstances... though how you can feel annoyed snuggled up with a sleeping bag and three hot water bottles is another matter. *smiles*. What I'm trying to say is that I'm pretty sure i hit the safety button as I realised that I'm heading towards a place I really don't want to be going.
I have to say that the Samaritans aren't the be all and end all of help and support. For those with Raynaud's there are many different routes open and some require specific support networks. So for instance by going to groups with people who also have Raynaud's, coming online to chat with others and to offer advice and support. Then there's the whole NHS route with counselling, medication. The RSA and charities that deal specifically with the condition, but the Samaritans can prove to be useful just to, talk or even email.
Being able to talk to someone new, confidentially and getting your worries, thoughts, feeling out in the open or merely just having a chat with them about anything can be of great help to someones emotional state. I feel more relaxed than before and while I appreciate I still have those same said worries, as I thought I had in the first place I know that I can deal with it. My situation is not out of my control and the whole world isn't crashing down on me. There are just a few things which are 'pressures' and are indeed making life tricky.
For someone who doesn't really have a support network, I don't have much contact with either friends or family (and at 24, that gives me an F at being socially-able) nor do I have much face to face contact with anyone in particular. I have personally found that just emailing someone who's prepared to bounce a few emails back and forth, discuss things, even if its just a one way conversation. It is darn useful.
If you're in a similar position where things are just a) getting you down b) frustrating you or heck you just want to ramble. Give them a shout. Or hey, write a blog post!
Now...where did I put my electric key...