Update and Thank You!

[friesianfan]

After seven plus years of de novo MBC, nine different chemo protocols plus whole brain radiation therapy (WBRT), the love of my life passed away peacefully this summer at home after less than a month in hospice care. We celebrated her birthday yesterday and shared many fun memories, not only from her whole life, but especially from all the milestones she was able to enjoy during these seven years. I haven't posted recently, in part because I wasn't sure how to keep this as uplifting as possible...but I drew so much strength from this group over the past seven years and just wanted to say "thank you from the bottom of my heart". I join many of you in wondering about so many past pillars of strength who were "frequent flyers" on this site for a long time and then the posts just stopped...so I wanted to share at least an update, along with my gratitude.

When Jill was first diagnosed in March 2017, she was afraid she wasn't even going to make it to our daughter's engagement party, much less her wedding. Thanks to the extraordinary care of Dr. Nancy Lin and her team at Dana Farber (whom we saw almost weekly on many of those protocols and became like family), not only did she share in celebrating our daughter's marriage, but so many other milestones during those seven years, such as:

- celebrating the birth of our grandson and three great years as "Gaga and Papa"--an unending stream of joy that kept her going and brings strength to me every day

- gathering up the energy to move (our 14th time in 44 years of marriage...) back to the beautiful coastal town where daughter, son-in-law and grandson live

- watching our daughter train and run the Boston Marathon to raise money for Dana Farber

- making one more trip back to the Netherlands to see the very best Friesian horses in the world and her being able to drive carriages pulled by those million dollar stallions, after being lifted into the carriage

- raising a Friesian foal from birth

- sailing two different America's Cup 12-meters in Hilton Head and Marblehead

- introducing our grandson to sailing at six weeks old aboard PERSEVERANCE, the blue sailboat she always longed for and was able to realize in these past few years since moving back to Marblehead

- seeing Billy Joel in concert a few more times at Fenway Park--just a few blocks from Dana Farber

- making multiple trips back to Wisconsin to watch our beloved Badgers

Along the way, there were many other memories as well, some as simple as sharing a particularly poignant Hallmark movie (cancer figures prominently in so many of those plots...) or sharing the "golden hour" when the sun sets on the 2000+ boats in our harbor. For all of these, and more, we are so thankful. (Speaking of Hallmark--I will be watching closely for Beth (aka Betty Buckets) and her daughter in next summer's release--can't wait! )

I want to thank all of you who are experiencing MBC personally for welcoming a hubby into your world. Jill and I were experts on "dividing and conquering" and keeping up on the science and monitoring "the real scoop" on side effects was in my wheelhouse, so I was the one who tracked HealthUnlocked on a daily basis (and still do...its ingrained at this point). While I didn't "post" often to initiate topics, I did try to "reply" if I thought some of you might benefit from our experiences. I hope I could reflect back even a tiny fraction of the support that I felt from this caring group over these seven years. I wish all of you the very best in your journeys and I am overjoyed to see posts from many of you that have been thriving for longer and longer periods of time--I will be praying for you! Keep up the good fight--you've got this!

With my deepest thanks,

Dave

[Hopeful4Cure]

We all have benefited from your updates, I have indeed and it helped to reach out, as you always replied. Thank you for taking the time to post and being so supportive of your wife. She was a lucky lady to have you. It makes me happy to know her bucket list was fulfilled. Huge hug and blessings.

[bikebabe]

Thank you for posting. that’s a really lovely homage to Jill and a tribute to your deep love and care for her (and us)

[Gonnawin2]

Thank you for sharing so much in your post. You both accomplished so very much! While saddened by the news, it's encouraging to know how much she did! Obviously a very strong and determined woman! Thank you for all your posts and encouragement. 🌺

[Mypathforward]

Thank you for such a touching and heartfelt post. I am so sorry for your loss. It sure sounds like you made the best of the time your wife had and she was lucky to have your support and love. Gentle hugs and prayers to you.

My best to you, Patti

[HelenWi]

I didn’t know you but am so touched by your post and grateful for you both to have made these years count. Thank you for the inspiration. Blessings to you and your family.

[TwithBC]

beautiful.

[Discocat]

Thank you for your heart warming post. Take strength from the beautiful memories that you have shared with your wife over the many happy years that you have had together. She will forever live on in you, and your families hearts.

[AvidBooklover]

You clearly treasure every memory...and you two made so very many of them. So sorry for your loss. You clearly championed her every step of the way. Thank you for taking the time to share her journey with us, so we too could reflection on the joyful moments. My heart goes out to you. You both lived life well and that should be celebrated!

[BorisCarloff]

Boy oh boy did you and your beloved Jill live life! That’s the beauty. Not to be obsessed with the next protocol but live in the moment. And you and your beautiful family did indeed. Much love to you and continued blessings always. X

[love2golfwell]

I am so sorry for the loss of your lovely wife. Thank you for sharing this beautiful tribute to her and for taking such good care of her. I'm so glad she was able to enjoy many milestones throughout her journey. Sending you and your family hugs and prayers at this difficult time.

[LibraryGeek]

I am sad to hear of Jill’s passing but feel inspired by how you both made the most of life during these challenging years. Sending you love and hope you find much comfort in memories of your time together and in the support of your lovely family.

Jackie x

[Sueforshare]

What a blessing that you two had such a lovely relationship and you will have such beautiful memories of your time spent with Jill.

[Kruza]

Dave, thank you for this absolutely beautiful and poignant post. Hugs to you as you learn to navigate life without your beloved. 🙏

[Liessie2014]

Thankyou so much for sharing the lovely tribute to your strong caring beautiful Jill, what a lot of good memories you have shared together, thinking of you all ❤️

[Loli19]

Dave, my sincerest condolences to you and your family on the loss of Jill. She was a fighter and continued to live life to the fullest with a wonderful, supportive husband by her side. Your post was beautiful - thank you for sharing.

Lori

[Totheriver]

So sorry to hear of the passing of your beautiful wife Jill💕 and the beautiful tribute to her. So nice that you could do a lot of things together before she passed. All the best to you and your family💕. Theresa

[Beryl71]

So sorry to hear this, somehow we develop such a strong empathy with people we have never met, it is the shared experience, I think. It brought a tear to my eye as we all know it will come to us one day. It was lovely to read about all the great experiences you have shared during that time. And we'll all keep doing the same! I hope you will find both solace and strength from your family and some happy memories.

[Nocillo]

Lovely tribute!

[Kateds]

Dear Dave,

Thank you for the sad but uplifting update on your lovely wife’s passing. You both did live and love strongly. This is a message we thrivers need to hear: Carpe Diem is the rule we need to follow. May God bless you and keep you.

Kate

[MaryCos]

I am so sorry to hear of Jill's passing, and your loss, Dave. Sending you lots of love and light, even though we never met or spoke before. Glad you are part of our community, as MBC certainly affects more than the patient alone. Wishing you comfort and peace as you navigate the days ahead, and, as grief never goes away, you learn to grow with and around it. xo

[CTGirl1962]

Thank you so much, Dave. I feel so much love coming from you for your beloved wife, Jill. She was certainly blessed to have you by her side to share life with!!!

I appreciate your support of us, as well!! Your words were so thoughtful and kind. God bless you.

🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🩵🩷💚

[Iwasborntodothis]

So lovely and so kind of you to share. I know so often, like you said, that someone just simply disappears off the board. We all do truly care about one another and want to know the complete story, good and bad.

Thank you again for sharing and God Bless you as you navigate your new life.

Allison

[WhippetX2]

It is easy to tell that she had the very best partner to share the lows and many, many highs the past few years. You are both very special people and thanks for sharing the journey with us.

[Gingerann1]

Thank you for updating everyone and for sharing such sweet memories of your Jill. For those of us who are so blessed to have supportive husbands and families it is such a gift that means more than you’ll ever know. I’m sure you were that to her and will continue to be for your family. May all your special memories be a continued blessing.

[Aquadog]

Dave, thank you for this very moving post. As I read the list of things Jill was able to experience and enjoy, I quietly cheered her strength and resilience. So much life in those years, so many memories to leave behind. Sending big, warm hugs and prayers to you and your family.

[visitingnurse]

God Bless you! you and your family and know you have an angel watching over all of you