How is the beginning of summer?Have you been driving and your mind starts thinking
I will not see this Beautiful scenery one day
And you tear up.
It goes away
I never had these thoughts before the meds
My CT scan is steady and she took me off ibrance for two weeks
Red cells low
More Greens Veggies
Wow Letrozole was not nice to my back
Happy to be back on Ibrance
I am a happy person even with my BC
Just a thought
HUGS TO ALL
For listening ๐ถ
Thank you, I needed that today
hi Minou,
Thank you for your beautiful poem and sharing your thoughts. Yes, I have those moments too, how can we not. Iโm grateful that this cancer journey gives us time to learn to live each day more fully, to acknowledge those thoughts and then go back living the day, just like you said. โค๏ธ
Actually your poem reminds me of the famous Mary Oliver poem, Summer Day.
The Summer Day
Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?Who made the grasshopper? This grasshopper, I mean-the one who has flung herself out of the grass, the one who is eating sugar out of my hand, who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face. Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is. I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down into the grass, how to kneel in the grass, how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields, which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?
Thanks You
Yes, I have felt that way. Thank you for sharing โค๏ธ
It would be a better world if everyone thought the same and appreciated what they have and that itโs a short time that we are here!
You have a gift for expressing your thoughts , like a poet. I have these thoughts also, try not to have them too much as it makes me cry too. Although I think even without MBC I would have a hard time with these thoughts, at least right now. I have definitely modified my lifestyle to enjoy my days more.
Hugs to you too! Yes, I often have the feeling that one day I wonโt see this or be able to do this
When I was first diagnosed with MBC in April 2019, I debated buying bunny plates for Easter thinking I am going to die. My husband and sons said...buy them; they make you happy. Each year when I pull them out I smile. My own little thing that makes me count a year. I have a friend with colon/rectal cancer. He is now figuring out his own version of a bunny plate!
Lol He will Hugs
This is my guilty secret for today. (There may be another one for tomorrow,). I bought two sets of six beautiful Lenox luncheon plates. One is for a present and, very possibly, I will keep the other one. I don't need it and am trying to rid my house of extra things. Go figure!
I know the feeling...and my mom passed away and she had soooo many sets there, too!
Thanks for laugh
I am also emptying out things
I am buying expensive dish wear and dinner utensils
If l am going to be a Angle
From this Journey
Going out with Class..Style
Guess l am high matence now
Hugs
I love that you did that. I have just this week bought a hammock that I set up inside my apartment. Its for daydreaming and presently for a crying spell as I get to feeling hopeless in my Cancer. It was only $75.00 and it's silly and looks really ridiculous ๐ but WOW does it feel really Great! We have to do those little splurges for the Soul. I hope you like your fancy dinnerware. They are a worthy purchase I am sure.
You made me laugh Hammock idea Great
Hugs
What do you have it suspended from?
It comes on its own stand. Courtesy of Amazon you too can have a soft cotton hammock that is easily assembled delivered right to your door comes in all sorts of pretty colors- i got ocean blue! and you too can enjoy the feeling of being held gently ~ something my soul has been aching for for for decades ~
Can you send the linkThey are conformable
Put one on my balcony
Great idea
Hugs
Yes great on the balcony, but be careful of leaving it outside in the rain. It could get moldy. Does comes with a carrying case so you might be able to use that for when its not being used. You can find them on Amazon.com.
I checked order one tomorrow after work My son and daughter inlaw each have they easy sleep
Oh rain l would brink it in
Slerp well
Thanks!! I am glad you have that gentle holding that you needed!! Is it flip proof? ๐ค
Are you making a joke? Flip proof? Who will be flipping you? Big rough housing dogs? Or miniature horses? Sorry, no it won't flip you over. Very sturdy.
๐๐คฃ๐ I was totally serious, because the hanmock we had when I was little flipped us out and splat in the ground if we moved the wrong way. I can't afford to have that happen, as I have a reconstructed spine due to MBC. You were really funny though...needed the laughs, thanks!! You really had me going with miniature horses!!
Plus, these sturdy 100% soft cotton hammocks w/the stand in many assorted colors are ALL on a Huge Sale right now on Amazon. Prices range from $68.-77.00 USD. I think there may be an overstock. What a Deal! Sorry for the AD. I am in my hammock right now and it truly is divine ๐ everybody needs one.
Lol Going search it
Hi I like your idea ..instead of a hammock.. l went and brought a large egg swing chair for my reading corner ...sooo conformable....So relaxing
Sleep ๐ค easy
my thoughts exactly. Recently started to use precious items..enjoying them. Thank you for sharing.
thank you! So true , there still an be happiness and gratitudeโฆ.as long as things are under control, youโre living and enjoying. I remember not wanting to get fresh bras because I was going to die soonโฆ.wellโฆIโm still here and buy what makes me happyโฆ.thank you for reminding us allโฆ
I am going g through this off and on ....l buy and return Then l think ...l deserve something
Hard
HUGS
I LOVE THIS!! It is exactly what I think about ALL the time!! Enjoy every moment, because what we are passing just may be the BEST part of our journey!! ๐๐๐
Thank you for posting. I have the same feelings. I was diagnosed in March of 2019 with MBC in my liver. On July 4th of 2019 I was watching the Boston Pops and I started to cry. I didn't think I would see another July 4th. Well, I am still here. My granddaughter will start kindergarten in the fall and I have a four month old grandson. I never thought I would see this. I am stable on Faslodex only. I had some health issues last fall. I fell and had a partial hip replacement, Six weeks later I ended up in ICU with blood clots in both lungs and my right leg, then had afib. I am better now and my MRI is still stable. Good luck to all of us in this journey.
Sorry this happened to you! Thankfully you have pulled through all of that, that's alot! Just curious if Faslodex is your 1st line if treatment? ๐
Yes, Faslodex is my first line of treatment. My oncologist wanted me on Ibrance too, but I have difficulty swallowing pills so she decided to try the Faslodex only. So far so good. My labs are in the normal range and my tumor markers are normal.
Wow, 4 years on 1st line, that's great! Curious where do you live? Its interesting to see the different treatment plans/paths/meds. I know what you mean about having those sad moments! Had those too early on but as soon as I found this group it brought so much hope to see ladies thriving after many years! But always do keep in mind to treasure every day, enjoy all life's beauty to the fullest now! Prayers for all of our continued good health! ๐
Thank you. I live about 25 miles outside of Boston. I have been to Dana Farber and they said surgery to remove the tumor could be catastrophic if something went wrong. I receive my treatment in the Framingham, MA area.
That is really good news. I hope you stay well ๐๐
Letrolzo 25mgIbrance 75
Was lowered from 100mg
Low blood count
Hugs
Yes Letrozole 2.5 + Ibrance started 125, reduced to 100, then again to 75. Last change was from 3 wks on 1 wk off, to 3 wks on 2 wks off. All due to low red blood cell & neutrafils counts.
I have only done it once and Letrozole made my back so stiff . L2... l think is the number body ached so bad tooIbrance went back on it last week ...helps...now l am back to 3 weeks ibrance one week off...may change again..
Hugs
Hope your back is good with being back on meds. ๐ค๐ค I have a CT scan coming up so fingers crossed ๐ค ๐คall stays stable after the changes! Hugs too! ๐
HUGS
I was also diagnosed with MBC in March 2019. I am so happy for you to be seeing your little grandchildren grow up!! I am so grateful to still be here too and to have been doing so well so far!! Praise God!! I may have to change treatment soon...next scans will tell. I am believing for great news!! How long have you been on Faslodex and how long stable? Is Faslodex Fulvestrant?
I have been on Fulvestrant since March 2019. Faslodex is Fulvestrant. I have been stable since diagnosis.
That's Great to read .Hugs
Wow!! Tell me more!! ๐
Beautiful!!!!
Hugs to you too! ๐
I'm a long timer with MBC, diagnosed in March 2004 with metastatic lobular bc, "extensive" bone mets in spine, pelvis, rib and shoulder blade. Right away I realized that learning all I could about bc, mbc, lobular would help me cope. I read books about bc and attended conferences held by NBCC (National BC Coalition), MBCN (MBC Network) and even the San Antonio BC Symposium, the biggest in the US BC conference for oncs. Meeting other activist women with MBC was really helpful. I'm an Episcopal priest and worked for two years as a chaplain in a big city hospital with a cancer unit and as a parish priest I visited alot of sick and dying people. All that made me understand just how well death is handled within the healthcare system. Now, what scares me the most is what if my husband dies before I do! My daughter lives 100 miles away, my brother is on the west coast and I'm in the midwest, one step daughter is in Florida and the only local family are the other step daughter and a brother in law. I've gotten weaker over the years , haven't driven in over six months and use a walker when I have to go to doctor appts.
My husband is a gem--does the cooking, laundry, shopping, walks the dog and probably a gazillion little things I don't think of. We're both in our 70's and this is not we imagined our retirement would be like! Plus the divisiveness in our country really scares me, and saddens me alot. We have alot to be really grateful for! I'm getting tired and have to stop writing now. Love and cyber hugs to all....
Big Hugs
PJBinMI, I have seen bits of your story in different posts, you are an inspiration!! Almost 20 years MBC is truly remarkable! Sorry to hear you are not up to your normal self. So lucky to have a wonderful supportive husband! I hear you, not how we envisioned to live out our older years. But we do always have something to be thankful for! Wishing you well!!๐๐
Sending you much Love and Hugs Too ๐๐บ
Such a lovely post and sad thoughts too I can relate to so well. I am sorry about your back. Back pain is the worst! I have some kind of degenerative spine disease and so my back tends to hurt in all kinds of crazy ways. So-I know. Many kinds of regular chairs I cannot even sit in. I feel like my spine is as soft as taffy and it is hard to keep it straight.Yes, I too have had those teary bleary eyed thoughts-they are quite tender piercing and heavy! It is hard to hold on to some of the most precious vivid memories of my friends- the tall pine trees my friends the symphonic birds in the trees ~ sometimes I just allow myself to be held aloft by all the Beauty that surrounds me and I drink it into my soul ~ the bluest air the white chiffon clouds the smell of the pine trees.
And I tell myself firmly, Not Today. I will not be going gently into that dark night...Oh No.
Not. Today!
Wow!
Just wanted to say Thank you for the likes and Hugs. Sending warm happy thoughts your way. Ps. My little doggie looks a lot like yrs. He is a 14yr old Lhasa Apso and my Pride and Joy ๐๐ had him 11 plus years we have had many adventures and he keeps me going. Dogs are The B E S T !
Yes they are
Greeetings: ๐Sister/Warrior, and yesssss Thriver. I do believe in trying to live my best life๐. No one knows the day or hour when this Physical journey is over. When I have one little bump in the road๐, and I want to say why is this happening. I have to think back to the loved ones in my life who can't see, cant hear, can't walk, who are struggling with cancer, lupus, and who are in stages of Alzheimer's/other mental/emotional challenges, and addictions๐ข๐ฅ. I then say to myself, stop it. What I think is a problem is nothing. I then begin to praise, and thank GOD for all of my blessings๐. I am physically, mentally/emotionally, and spiritually able .๐I am grateful. Being able to hop out of bed, to see the sun, rise, and fall, the flowers blooming, and hear the birds chirping. I am truly blessed.๐. I don't want to , and refuse to focus on the subtractions/negative distractions, but on the infinite positive additions/positive blessings. Amen๐
fIVe year thrIVer
Celebrating a beautiful summer weekend 
Had to share this beautiful Poem
A beautiful Buddhist prayer
My Beautiful Christmas Cacti
