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Good article

Pbsoup profile image
18 Replies

Hi

I thought this articles, about why one doesn’t have to be “grateful “ for cancer was spot on nytimes.com/2022/11/22/well...

If you read it. Take a moment to peruse the comments by readers. Some of them are so well stated as well.

I will say it here—I am not grateful for my cancer. There are much more interesting ways to become a better person.

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Pbsoup profile image
Pbsoup
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18 Replies
Adele_Julia profile image
Adele_Julia

There wasn’t anything attached ?

Pbsoup profile image
Pbsoup in reply to Adele_Julia

ha! Just edited it so now the link is there. Xo

Adele_Julia profile image
Adele_Julia in reply to Pbsoup

bummer is that I need a subscription to read it. Lol

kokopelli2017 profile image
kokopelli2017 in reply to Adele_Julia

me too😉

LDR1 profile image
LDR1 in reply to kokopelli2017

Try this link, it should work without a subscription:

nytimes.com/2022/11/22/well...

kokopelli2017 profile image
kokopelli2017 in reply to LDR1

thank you LDR1. too late for me since I already subscribed last night. I really wanted to read the article. but I'm sure this link will help others gain access. XO

love2golfwell profile image
love2golfwell

Great article, thank you for sharing.

AvidBooklover profile image
AvidBooklover

The day before Thanksgiving I wrote the surgeon who did my melanoma surgery 12 years ago (one spot in the middle of my back and nothing else to track), as well as my breast surgeon from 10 years ago, who I also reconnected with 3.5 years ago when I was diagnosed with MBC.

I think of them often and am grateful to them for the way they were there for me. Got lovely notes back from each of them. They each are the top in their field at MSK, but their responsiveness never ceases to amaze me.

I am not grateful for cancer, which for some reason, either radiation or a shot near my sciatic nerve has left me with drop foot.

What I have realized is that everyone has something by the time you get to a certain age. This is my something and I am grateful there are things to do for it. But not grateful for it!

And yes, the comments on this piece are really terrific!!

Pbsoup profile image
Pbsoup in reply to AvidBooklover

that’s lovely about your doctors. I had a wonderful surgeon at MSK in 2010. We might have passed on the corridor.

I agree with how you put that I am grateful for doctors and treatments too. And yes, everyone has their “thing”

Lakincaid profile image
Lakincaid

Thank you for posting! This definitely hits home, especially this time of year. I am finding it exhausting to be “happy” to put everyone else at ease when I’m just not feeling it.

Shafight profile image
Shafight

I’m certainly in way grateful for cancer. But like avidbooklover, I’m grateful to my doctors and to my family and friends!! I’m grateful to be alive!

Best521 profile image
Best521

Great article. The comments were even better. The honesty with which the commentators wrote about suffering from illness was refreshing. Yes I am grateful for many things but not cancer and I didn’t need to get cancer to learn to be grateful either.

fancydog profile image
fancydog

I could write a yr about my journey, soon to be 9 yrs w/MBC. I have anger about the yr I lost suffering because no Doc even thought I could have a return of BC( even though it had been 12 yrs since my first BC) I preach this to every med student or resident I get a chance to! But at this point, I have a degree of gratitude which is growing me to live out my minutes deliberately. I restarted counseling at the Ca Ctr and have realized the time I have wasted, giving power to my thoughts about other stuff and other peoples' actions or lack of. I also wanted to get better control of scanziety and it is working. No I will never not be anxious about scan results but I am learning to keep functioning despite it. I expect them to happen next in Jan. so that will be the real test. I am a Christian and do not fear death, just the stuff that can happen getting there.

kokopelli2017 profile image
kokopelli2017

this article really spoke to me. and like you and others mentioned...the 'comments' were exceptional. very relatable. enduring hours of torture with family on Thanksgiving is still fresh in my mind. my pain hiked up to an '11' after several hours and I could no longer stand. and my smile was really me, gritting my teeth. and yet I was still trying to be 'normal'. or how people expect me to act. the 'before' mbc person. who no longer exists. I don't look the same, nor act the same. because I am not the same. so hell no, I am not grateful at all. no positive lessons to be learned on this end.

hearing so many others say the same, or similar, was so refreshing. I feel like a weight has been lifted. that I have decided to no longer fake my way through my new life. I am what I have become. mbc did this to me. I did not ask for it. I do not want it. I am not thankful for it.

but I am thankful that you posted this article💛

and I am thankful for the amazing women on this site💛🌺

Tolife_18 profile image
Tolife_18

thank you for providing an interesting article and bringing up an important topic. It’s difficult to be grateful when diagnosed with a terminal illness

What’s even worth for me is loosing my independence and relying on my husband and a helper for a basic needs. It’s humiliating and I’m loosing my mind over it.

I’m being robbed of dignity and whatever time I have left. And not the greatest specialists in or outside of MSK have any clue what is going on

I’m trying to occupy my mind and time working full-time (from home), spending time with the family and friends (all in the wheelchair).

But I forgot the time I was laughing. Because the thoughts are always with me. And that makes me angry and depressed.

jersey-jazz profile image
jersey-jazz

PBsoup I keep going back to this entry of yours and going, "Yeah, spot on!". You are hot stuff! Thanks for taking the Mickey.

jersey-jazz profile image
jersey-jazz

Would you believe that I have just gone back to your posting yet again? It says so much to me. Further, it resounds way back when we women had to pretend that we didn't get the men's dirty jokes, we didn't have a clue as to what would turn us on and it would have been rude, crude and ugly of women to ever use those swear words/dirty words. Now, Fxxx is my favorite word of the month, no, of the year.

I delight in you quick wit and others on this wonderful forum. Yeah!

Pbsoup profile image
Pbsoup in reply to jersey-jazz

oh I am quite the potty mouth these days!!!

Xoxo

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