Hi all! Hoping for some wisdom from the group in dealing with family that won’t get vaccinated. I have had both shots— feeling good. But adult children and others are not going to get the vaccine! UGH!
I’ve shared objective articles about the science. I’m trying not to be threatening or manipulative— but I believe I shouldn’t be around others not vaccinated.
I miss my family and feel like they are being selfish..
thoughts?
It baffles me. The big problem is that the vaccine was politicized in the U.S. Who would believe that a president would use a highly contagious virus to divide the country. Everyone knows and cares about folks that covid-19 would put their lives at risk. So how do you rationalize their behavior. You don't. You just have to physically stay away. The ball is in their court. You can't change your situation. We will all alter relationships. If everyone doesn't do their part, we will always have covid-19. Vaccinations ended Smallpox and polio because everyone was required to be vaccinated. We can no longer require vaccinations, we have to depend on all to do their part. Hopefully, they will. Blessings, Hannah
I have already had covid however I will not take the vaccine. I have my reasons why I wont and I respect other peoples decisions either way.
I too feel it is a personal decision. It’s a shame that we are labeled selfish for not wanting an experimental vaccine that has no long term safety studies. I’ve seen first hand the damage that vaccines can do. They’ve pulled J and J because of the potential for blood clots. My husbands grandmother was hospitalized after her first dose. It made her extremely ill. If you’ve had your vaccine and you feel it works then why worry about the people that choose not to get it? My family is not selfish..we just choose not to be guinea pigs to an experimental vaccine.
Many, many more folks have died from covid-19 than have from the vaccination. If you avoid death by refusing medication that has caused someone to die, then you won't be taking medication. I am afraid that we will never be free from covid-19 if we don't get herd immunity. I respect your right to choose what is right for you and your family. I just hope you are making your decision based on the facts. Many blessings to you. Hannah
Part of respecting choices is respecting those of us who don’t want to take the risk of being around non vaccinated people. Blu’s post is focused on that issue. If Blu wants to feel safer, we should all respect that, including her family members. They should not give her a hard time. We worry about people who don’t get the vaccine because we remain immunocompromised due to MBC.
Non vaccinated people can transmit the virus and with our low WBC, we don’t want to risk it. Covid has killed millions of people. Blu is asking her family to empathize with how hard MBC is and how much she wants to safely be with them. She has earned that respect. Blu has also earned the right to avoid such risks.
I am sorry your family member had a negative reaction. That is very unfortunate. Every vaccine - flu, shingles, etc — has a very small subgroup which experiences negative reactions. Medical data demonstrates that the side effects from this vaccine are dramatically less than that of the flu vaccine.
I know I can’t change your mind. This is for other readers who wonder. Please remember, these are not “experimental” drugs. They’ve been put through rigorous testing by respected, scientific analysts internationally.
A good example of a former so called experimental drug is some of the cancer treatments our members are on.
For instance, Ibrance was experimental. After research, human trials and testing, it has extended thousand of lives of MBC patients. Some Ibrance patients have harsher reactions than others, as shown by posts on this message board. When that occurs, doctors adjust the dosage, etc.
I understand your concern about your husband’s grandmother. I’m sincerely sorry. I hope you don’t write off the vaccine or Ibrance or other meds that were once experimental and now save many, many lives. Anecdotal evidence should not outweigh rigorous scientific data. Of course it is unsettling when a family member has an event like this. I hope she recovers fully.
So well put! ❤️
You responded to the wrong person. I just said I had covid and I wasnt going to take the vaccine for my own personal reasons. I didnt say anything about my family. I just said it should be our own personal choice after all it's my body. No harm intended Marthasvineyard.
Exactly my feelings and very well said.
My husband will get vaccinated, but only wants J&J. He feels better about this than the MRNA-based vaccines. I feel like this is his prerogative, but now he waits for the green light on that again. My older son had J&J. Younger one gets Pfizer or Moderna on Sun. He routinely passes out when getting shots or blood draws...cannot remember what that is called...so he has a friend going with him. My second Moderna shot is 5/3 and I dread reaction. Juggling it at end of my Ibrance off week.
Parents who are 91 and 92 and MIL who is 93 were all done in early Feb after I got them appts. Reality is this will be a three-month plus process by the time we are done and it is wearying with unknowns about reactions and stress getting appts.
Also, my sister lives in Atlanta, has not seen my parents since Dec 2019 and though she will be done with vaccines soon, and has no underlying health issues, she has zero plans to come up to see them. Said will get there sometime in the next couple of months. I see my mom slipping and feel she is selfish to not make an effort to see them.
Also, juggling my small staff getting vaccinated as that affects our ability to all be 100%. Figure June will be better, I think optimistically!
I heard they are talking 6 or 9 month boosters and I want to hide under the covers. LOL
I had the two Moderna shots in my thigh because of lymphedema in both ams. I was very happy to have a nice big sore welt on the injection site. It meant to me that I have an immune response even with three auto-immune diseases.
It’s not hard to understand, you want your family to love you enough to get the vaccine that will protect you and their other loved ones from a higher risk of Covid. That they don’t is very discouraging! When we are vaccinated we can mingle with other vaccinated people without worrying about distance and masks. We can hug our unvaccinated grandchildren. Who wouldn’t want all that? Good luck in slowly breaking down their reservatuins.
I am so sorry that your family are hesitant about getting the vaccine and I think that in some countries it has been politicized and also the media hasn’t always helped ! In England /U.K. the take up has been very good with about 95 % of over 50‘s having had it so far and all adults over 18 will be offered it by end of July . I had my second vaccine ( Astra Zeneca) 3 weeks ago today and didn’t have the side effects after the second vaccine. ( I was shivery after the first one ) . We are slowly coming out of lockdown here and being able to enjoy outdoor dining /pubs , all shops reopened this week and even got my long awaited hair appointment ! The greatest pleasures are being able to go out with our elderly relatives after such a long time, and tho’ we remain cautious as to where we go , it’s just great having some degree of normality ! Covid numbers and deaths have fallen significantly here in the last month but we still have to watch for variants (like the South African and Indian variants ) coming into the country . But getting so many people vaccinated has meant we can start to get our lives back !
I do hope your family can be persuaded to reconsider taking the vaccine . It’s in everybody’s interest ! Take care ! x
Bravo for UK people who were so good with the vaccine uptake! Intelligent, smart people!
Your family is being selfish. A agree with everyone here.
I have a brother who is almost 80 years old. He was an astute cardio nurse all of his life. He has unfortunately (in my opinion) has come to believe in the politicized statement that Covid is not real or not as real as the present president says it is. The past president was correct in saying that it would go away come warm weather and such. Rather than being selfish, he is a deeply generous person who thinks he is doing right by me, by not getting the vaccine and wishing I would not get it either. I feel that he is deeply and dangerously misguided (some would say brainwashed) because of the politicization. I love him deeply and it is saddening that I will not be seeing him, since I am meeting up safely only when this who are vaccinated. He is a good man who has come to a seriously flawed decision and that is tragic.
I will say that putting your trust in anything and or anybody other than God is tragic. My opinion.
If one was a believer one could argue that god has given us the ability to create a vaccine to fight this deadly virus.
It is fact that the virus will continue to adapt and mutate creating new variants as it adapts to it host environment in order to survive.
The vaccines will slow this from happening and will help to stop people from becoming severely ill or dying from the virus. It’s science. Who doesn’t want that?
Until the whole world has access to the vaccine life will not return to a pre pandemic normal without loosing loved ones to this virus. Who doesn’t want that?
Millions of people have been vaccinated so far. It has given them protection from Covid19. The statistics of the dramatic reduction of Covid numbers in the U.K. are evidence it is working.
It’s a no-brainer! Have the vaccine!
I just had the second shot and i’m Not having any more! I didn’t like the reaction I had to it. My husband has been advised by his Doctor to hold off. Just the same way as we all don’t react to cancer meds the same way, we don’t react to Covid or the shot of whatever it is the same way. For many there’s a 98% chance of recovery. I would never advise anyone to have or not have the shot. It’s a personal decision. If you can only be around vaccinated people then that’s your choice. Either way “ None of us is getting out of this alive”.
HiI know how you feel. My mother is 85 and will not have it. We tried everything to persuade her but no way. For her it goes back to when she was given the thalidomide drug in 1962 ,its first year for morning sickness with my older brother now aged 59. My father flushed then down the loo when she collected them saying they have not been tested enough and thank god he did. My brother was unharmed and for her it’s a no no to the COVID vaccine, I disagree and we have all had it but at the end of the day it is her decision. She also had stage 2 breast cancer aged 59 and would not take any drugs after the op, she has been fit and active since.
Debra xxx
Hi Blu! I scanned responses but did not want to get stressed by reading fully! I'll note that I disagree re: not wanting to be manipultative...I decided to go full on manipulation!
I got my second dose (Pfizer) 3/25 and booked flights to go to NC, where much of my family currently live. My parents were vaccine resistant. My sis, who lives nearby, kept trying to get them to get vaccinated. No. So I told them until they got vaccinated I would not see them, even though I was headed their way. So, lo and behold, they asked my sis to sign then up/bring them!!! Yay! AND, they said that it was much easier/better than they had feared. Win-win.
So, my point is, we should use any leverage we have to protect the people we care about. That's my view, anyway. "Freedom" is a bizarre notion in this situation.
Take care, and good luck with your family!
Best,
Lynn
LynnTotally agree! Not only are your parents now safer but so are all the people they come into contact with. That’s how this vaccine programme will help the world to succeed in beating back Covid.
Wishing you well.
Vicki
Lynn— so good to see you on the board! Hope you are doing well and treatments are working!!!
Thanks, Blu! 
I'm chugging along, with some progression (growth of numerous existing tumors plus a couple of small new ones, in March), but I'm not changing treatment...
Great! Are you still biking? Anyway- great to know you are doing well. Have fun in NC!
Re: biking (thanks for remembering! )...
Ummmm....I was gravitating toward running more, with the winter cold/wind. I also felt like that was a harder workout and therefore could be shorter (I. do. not. enjoy. exercise!). Then I was hindered by foot pain, thought I broke my foot (well, thought I re-broke an old fracture from a tragic dance floor accident in college (!), which had not healed properly since I had soaked the cast in a tub and sawed it off halfway through the 8 week healing period!...different story, but perhaps an early indication of a life-long resistance to medical advice? ) *but* I saw a doc -- was worried about bone issues with the Zometa -- and it turned out to be a Morton's neuroma (?). The doc offered me some sort of recurring injections but I did not want to take on any more needles and felt okay about the pain. And it actually feels better now, maybe half of it was mental / fear...
So, I'm back to running a bit but also got an inexpensive ($269) indoor bike, which is great, I love it! But, I def slacked off on the exercise for several/many months and am still not doing even half of what I was doing at my peak...Why? Because i'm irrational and lazy... :(. Need to get back at it, but am traveling at the moment, a multi-week/multi-stop journey to catch up on some of the key things/people that I missed with the pandemic...
Too long an answer, sorry! But the whole reason why i pegged lack of exercise as a possible factor in the progression I saw last June - preceded by increasing markers since April - is that I was not traveling and was suddenly very sedentary. So I'm making it a point to get a workout from my normal activities on the road...Hopefully it'll be enough to keep me in a decent place...
Take care!
Lynn
Lynn, I always like to read your posts (I imagine you write like you speak). But I think it’s time to ditch those stilettos 👠 for the frumpy flats 🥿 😂. All the best. Vicki
Vicki, Funny you mention the shoes....
....When I saw the ortho surgeon, I explained that the only shoes I've been able to wear - for decades, seriously - are Swedish (Dansko, Sanita) clogs. I managed to muddle through a corporate career mostly avoiding heels, just wore my clogs with dress slacks/pants suits (that sounds very HRC!). They add a couple of inches of height, plus I could walk fast, sort of stomp down the hallway authoritatively.
They are, I guess, a signature look for me, displaying a low interest in high fashion! I would often joke: "Well, they're good enough for surgeons and chefs, so....:)". But all along, I was just sort of unconsciously adjusting for the painful neuroma! *But*, so many friends now have misshapen feet/related issues due to decades of pointy toed high-heels...Not me!
I bet you rocked that clogg look in the corporate world! Having grown up barefoot in New Zealand I often joke about my (wide) hobbit-like feet and have always struggled to find comfortable shoes. Having just looked on line I can see I could easily become a convert to Dansko/Sanita clogs. My days of high heels are long since gone - if they ever existed. Over the past year where I’ve spent most of my time indoors I have been wearing Fitflop shoes. Sooo comfy. My Ugg’s have also made guest appearances!
I suffered for about 18 - 24 months from what I was told was planter fasciitis before being diagnosed with MBC. Oddly Ibrance seems to have healed (no pun intended) that too!
Vicki
You make me laugh! Sawing off a cast? Lol!!! So happy for you to travel and get back to your normal! Enjoy your travels and family ( vaccinated!) friends. ❤️❤️❤️
I love that! So happy that they chose you!
I have the same problem with my darling daughter whom I love very much. But over the last few years she has become very anti vaccine.
We cannot enforce our beliefs on them. But I find this anti science and lack of knowledge very hard to swallow. Especially when she knows that it's because of science I'm being kept alive and well.
I have just had the Astra Zeneca shot. I've been so sick for the last 24 hours. But I'm glad I've done it and hope the next shot won't affect me so badly. Still it's worth it if I save another life too. That's my thinking.
But we are all different.
Perhaps you could try the Lynnfish approach. No vaccine, no visits! 😉
Thanks everyone for your comments and experiences. I’m sorry about those that have had a reaction to the vaccine. For me— I’m going to hold firm and ask my son to get vaccinated. My sisters may be another challenge- but not planning on seeing them any time soon.
Much love and gratitude to all!❤️❤️❤️
I used to be anti vaccinations however, I know we live in a world where vaccinations are necessary. I have had both shots. No reaction whatever. Thanks goodness. I think your relatives who are refusing to get vaccinated need to get some professional advice from a trusted source, (like a family physician). They are not making good decisions given the state of the world and your illness.
How else are we going to get out of this pandemic. Take care.
Cheers June S.
I’m so sorry you have family that will not take the vaccine. No excuse! We take it and we are at risk patients. Hope things get easier for you and family soon! Susie
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