Very anxious

I have 2 three month bone strengthening infusions and am on Letrozole. Since starting infusions I’ve not had a scan. My imagination is running haywire. My daughter is pregnant with my first grandchild and I keep thinking I won’t see it

[Hidden]

Hi Clarence,

I just responded to your previous post. Thanks for the additional information. I am also on three monthly infusions (zometa, is that the same for you?) and letrozole. When did you start infusions? I have scans every three months, so if you have just started you will probably not get a scan for a while yet.

Congratulations on the upcoming birth of your grandchild. I hope that the good news will help to distract you and give you cause for joy. With this diagnosis, we can still live for many years. It is not the automatic death sentence it used to be. I hope you will draw comfort from that.

Sophie

[Mindysooty]

Hi Clarence,

Have you been told when you'll have a scan and how often it will be? I think a lot of people - myself included - get CT or PET scans every 3 months. Our own imagination is our worst enemy; my daughter is also pregnant with my first grandchild and we've been spending time shopping for prams, clothes and everything else. I do understand your worries but try to focus on the joy and don't let this horrid disease rob you of this precious time you should be enjoying. I can't tell from your posts when you were diagnosed or any other details but as Sophie says, there are people on here who have lived for a lot of years with MBC so try to think of that rather than letting your imagination ruin everything for you.

Wishing you the very best.

Josie

[Hidden in reply to Mindysooty]

Hi Josie,

I agree with you that our imagination can be our own worst enemy. How often do we imagine the worst case scenario and it doesn't actually happen? Even with this disease, we can enjoy a period of stability, regression and improvement. It is not all downhill from the moment we are diagnosed.

You must be getting so excited about the baby. When is your daughter due?

Sophie

[Mindysooty in reply to Hidden]

Hi Sophie, yes very excited but still a little while yet - 27th February is the due date. EEK! I spend more time in the baby sections in the stores than anywhere else lol. Lucy chose not to have gender reveal though so have to buy neutral for now :). I've just organised her baby shower for 18th Jan - we're doing it as a surprise for her so I've roped her other half in to whisk her away for the morning and when they return, we'll all be there waiting - about 25 of her friends and family. I can't wait, can you tell :). xx

[Hidden in reply to Mindysooty]

Hi Josie,

Wow, she does not have long to go! Two months will soon fly by. I know what you mean about how you can spend ages in baby sections in the shops. Whenever I am buying for a new baby I am just blown away by how many different things a baby needs, not just clothes but all the other accessories too. Can you tell I'm not a mum?! The baby shower you have planned sounds like fun. I bet your daughter will love that. I haven't been to a baby shower in a while. So long as the mums don't go into too much detail with their labour stories I am OK with that!

Sophie

[Hidden in reply to Mindysooty]

My daughter is also expecting but I have anxiety and depression and I’ve totally convinced myself I’ll not see the baby. I just so want to enjoy her pregnancy with her and my anxiety is going through the roof. She also won’t reveal the sex. What are your tips for staying calm. Have you had MBC for a while? X

[Mindysooty in reply to Hidden]

hi, compared to a lot of ladies on here I've not had my dx long - original BC in 2010 and MBC dx April this year. It must be very difficult for you having anxiety and depression too, ,my heart goes out to you. Have you tried reiki? I find that very relaxing and even took stage 1 so i can do it on myself and friends and family. Meditation is also good - focused mediatation is best for me as my mind tends to wander. Just focus on something - a sound, a smell - I use a candle (or used - i've not done it for a while). There's some good meditation stuff on YouTube.

I'm lucky enough to be able to continue working which for me is a godsend - I'm a manager in a law firm so it can be stressful but I'd be lost without my job - although I'm thinking of cutting back a bit on the hours in the New Year just because I want time with my baby's baby :).

At the beginning of this journey, after the initial shock and upset, my daughter said something to me which really resonated - she said we don't have time to be sad mum, we need to spend our time being happy. My own view is this, I can either sit in the house, cry and dwell on my situation or I can carry on and live my life the best way I know how. Whichever one I choose, the disease will still be there and do whatever it's gonna do so I choose the latter. Please don't misunderstand, I know it's not always as easy, especially when people have knock backs and extra challenges like you have, and believe me I do have down times, I'm not pretending otherwise, but I just think about my beautiful family and my imminent grandchild and focus on that .

I genuinely hope that helps. Sending big hugs and positive vibes your way.

Best wishes.

Josie

[Hidden in reply to Mindysooty]

Thanks for replying so quickly. Your daughter is right. Wish I could put it into action. The anxiety paralyses me and I can’t do anything. I want so so much to be there for my daughter. It’s not as if I’m in pain. I haven’t really had many side effects so what’s with this depression etc. Get Reiki every three weeks. I had to give up my business because of my depression. So I don’t know what to do with myself x

[Mindysooty in reply to Hidden]

oh that's very tough for you having to give up your business. I've never had depression so I can only imagine how debilitating it is and I'm truly sorry for you. I wish I could reach through the airwaves and give you a hug xx

[Andersl]

I fully understand your anxiety. Im expecting my third grandchild next year.

Sometimes i think the same as you though i quickly correct myself and focus on visualising seeing my grandchild for the first time. What they'll look lke, colour and texture of hair, how big he'll be... my sons proud face (he's waited 20 years for this). All those things take my mind off any negative thoughts.

Are you expecting a grandaughter or grandson?

Lou x

[Arisgram]

I'm so sorry you're struggling. I understand. I seem to express my grief as anger. EVERYTHING pi$$e$ me off! I have to remind myself, it helps nothing. In fact, the negativity makes things worse. So, I get dressed up, screw on a smile and get myself around other people. I don't "want" to do it when I'm alone......but it absolutely helps.

I wish you, and all of us, some peace. We have to look for it because it is more hidden from us, but I absolutely hope you find yours. Comfort and joy to you this Christmas.

Andi

[Rhwright12]

Hi! Bone mets are very slow growing...I’ve gone a year or so between bone scans. So unless your experiencing new pain there’s no problem...So go knit some booties! Buy some onesies! And a whole lot of other stuff that grandbaby needs!