Managing Stress During the Holiday Season

[joann86]

The holiday season can be an incredibly stressful, especially when you're dealing with cancer. Check out the tips below that may make things easier for you and your family.

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"During the holiday season, it can be difficult to manage family meals, social gatherings and a healthy diet, but it can be especially exhausting for people undergoing treatment for cancer and their family and friends. Experts from Baylor College of Medicine provide guidance to help manage cancer during the holidays, as both a patient and a caregiver.

"The holiday season is typically a time of celebration, traditions and quality time with family and friends. It can also bring challenges or stress with various obligations and gatherings, and it can be difficult to balance these feelings with the holiday spirit," said Courtney Vastine, a social worker in breast and gynecologic oncology at Baylor.

Coping as a patient

As the holidays approach, there are many ways a patient can reduce stress and prepare for additional social obligations. Vastine shares her best tips for easing into the holiday season without becoming overwhelmed.

Prepare emotionally. The often unrealistic expectations of the holiday season can cause a great deal of stress for anyone, particularly someone dealing with cancer. A mix of anticipation, disappointment and apprehension may arise. Preparing ahead of time for these emotional shifts can help to better cope.

Simplify. During treatment, many tasks such as cooking, shopping and decorating can become overwhelming and create stress. Simpler, smaller gatherings are easier to manage, and, instead of cooking an elaborate meal yourself, have each person bring a dish, order food from a restaurant or ask someone else to host. Relieving some of the pressures of entertaining will result in more time to relax and enjoy.

Find different ways to shop. If holiday shopping is a source of stress, try shopping for gifts online or give gift certificates. If finances are an issue, set a budget and stick to it. Heartfelt, homemade gifts are also a good way to let someone know you care.

Know your limits. Don't feel obligated to participate in every holiday activity; decline some invitations to save energy for the activities that are most important to you and don't overextend yourself. It is okay to cancel plans or take time to yourself when needed.

Let others help. You may have been the one to do most of the holiday decorating, shopping, cooking and entertaining in previous years. Being responsible for all of the preparations is physically and emotionally draining, so allow friends and family to help. Since they might not know how, prepare a list of tasks for them to help with. Chances are, you will feel relieved, and they will feel good about being able to help you.

Anticipate reactions. Cancer can change how you relate to your loved ones and how they relate to you. There may be side effects of treatment and changes to appearance, such as hair loss and weight loss. Consider writing a letter, sending an e-mail or calling family members in advance to let them know how you're feeling to help reduce some awkward feelings when you do get together.

Discover new traditions. Try to avoid putting pressure on yourself to maintain old holiday traditions, especially if these are demanding or create stress. Happiness can be found in old and new ways, as long as it is right for you in the moment.

Share feelings. Expressing your feelings and concerns with others can reduce holiday stress. If you don't want to talk about your illness, let your loved ones know. If you feel a need to cry or get upset, it's okay to do so. Communicating your feelings with others can help you feel less alone and more connected.

Set goals for the New Year. Your dreams and hopes for the future may be different now. Work together with your loved ones to make new, short-term goals, such as finishing treatment. Re-evaluating priorities can improve your outlook."

[nstonerocks]

My husband is much more social than I. In the past we hosted both Hanukkah and then a Christmas dinner. Even with ordering in , this year it’s just too much. I work full time and it’s just too stressful. I never get to just sit and enjoy our guests I had to consolidate our entertaining. I am doing well, 3 years in, but even so I need more down time We are having one event and invited everyone. We will be having an early dinner at a local restaurant and dessert and merriment at my house. A lot of people couldn’t make it so down to about 25. Yes it’s a bit expensive. The restaurant is byob thank goodness. Husband is pretty happy with the compromise. I’m relived and looking forward to it. Sometimes you have to save yourself ☃️

[joann86 in reply to nstonerocks]

Sounds like a good compromise to me! Thanks for sharing- hope you all have a great holiday!