stage 4 breast cancer and hair loss

I was diagnosed last month 2 days before with breast cancer ,which has turned out to be metastatic brrast cancer which has spread to my lung &bowel ,today i meet the oncology nurses for my pre assessment before i start chemo on wednesday scared i am as its been a big shock to me .Next week i have my wig consultation and i have made a hard decision that while im there if i get my wig that day i am getting the girl to cut my hair so short if my hair is falling out i cant bear the heartache to see it fall im getting her to shave it i may have the courage which i think i will to shave it all off im better doing it now than wait been a hard choice to make but one im looking foreward to

8 Replies

  • trg3, someone recently did a really nice post about shaving her head on the breast cancer community; you may want to check it out:

    But this is an incredibly difficult moment, especially with your daughter, and we're sending you lots of strength and hugs <3

  • Good luck. I will pray that with chemo could stabilize your condition. i Its a long bumpy road but you can do it with GOD s help.

  • I was diagnosed a year ago, and started chemo in April. So towards the end of March, we had a party which I called the "hat and hair party" and then I added a Kentucky Derby theme to it. All the ladies and gentlemen wore hats, we had some games, a fashion show, and the food was traditional Kentucky Derby menu items. After the meal, I invited friends to clip off some of my hair, then one friend who cuts her husband's hair finished off my Mohawk hairdo. My 18 year old daughter was relieved; I had given her the impression that I was going to shave my head completely. Nah, I just wanted a Mohawk, like my son used to get when he was little. Then we sprayed it with blue paint that washes out. Hey, I am a professional and I thought why not have a little fun. (I'm a pastor, and many ladies in my congregation donned hats as a show of solidarity and support.)

    Well, chemo started April 14, and I waited for my hair to start falling out ... but it didn't. Then suddenly, exactly 2 weeks after the first infusion, it started coming out in the shower. Well, I pulled out some strands, really just checking to see how loose it was. Not a good idea, as this made my scalp sore. But within 2 days, all hair was gone.

    All-in-all, this was a good approach to take.

    You mentioned that you have a young daughter. What about having a tea party, with hats, and refreshments. You could do mothers and daughters. And invite your daughter to style and then cut your hair some. If the children are of an age that they might think it's okay to cut their own hair, you might need to be careful. Then you all can talk about hair and cancer and how the medicine will cause your hair to fall out, but 6 months down the road (whatever the time frame is) it will grow back again.

  • Hi! I remember when I first found out that I had MBC and how frightened and alone I felt. I am so glad that you have found this resource so early. There is strength knowing there are others with your diagnosis and hearing their stories. My hair did not start coming out until after my third round of chemo, so you do not have to immediately shave your hair. Maybe give yourself a little more time to get used to the idea. When I finally did it, I was ready. I also found an amazingly cute wig that I just love! It looks better than I could ever fix my is gonna be hard to part with it:) I will be thinking about you on your journey. I pray daily for ALL my "friends" who share this diagnosis with me. Keep us posted on how you are doing. Caroline

  • I'm so sorry you found out before christmas,it's a big blow to hear thhe news to begin with, be positive and a fighter

  • ((((Hugs)))) Hair loss stinks. I've lost mine three times and I think the first time was the hardest. My hair was past the middle of my back and I had it cut short before starting chemo. Two weeks in it really started falling out so hubby, supervised by our four kids, buzzed it then used his razor to shave the rest. I love the idea of going wild with cut and color before it falls out 😁. The one thing I never did and wished I had, was to paint eyeballs on the back of my head so that my kids could see that I really do have them there 😉. Blessings!!

  • I recently went through losing my hair last fall. I first cut it short. When my hair starting falling out, my hair looked unhealthily so I decided to get a buzz cut. The best advice a cancer survivor gave me is that she stated all it is is just hair. It put things into perspective for me. Currently is sure is easier to get ready for the day. No blow drying hair, etc. I now can be ready in about 15 minutes.

  • One of the big changes I have noticed during the 13 years I have been dealing with mbc is that now there seem to be alot more women going bald in public and alot less wig talk among women with cancer. I sure understand getting a wig early on. It was one of the very first things I did! And alot of women I barely knew, but who had cancer, told me about wigs and wig care. I hope you will do well with treatment. Do know that the first weeks and months tend to be the roughest on us emotionally! Such a huge shock! Leaves us so vulnerable! But that does bet better, especially if we have a good response to the first treatment.

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