Cardiac arrest survivors worried partner

[BigmamaG7]

Hi I'm new to the group and desperately need advice on my partners health, 2 years ago he collapsed with a hernia that had gone through his intestine wall and his bowels had ruptured, he had emergecy surgery and although it was complicated due to his large isze and the seriousness of the hernia issue he was removed from the ventilators and called me to tell me he was OK and loved my daughter and I, he said he didn't feel great and I heard him call the nurse as the line went dead, within a couple of minutes the nurse was on the phone telling me to get to the hospital ASAP and inform anyone else that I thought should know, when I igt to the hosp the specialist I spoke to called me into the dreaded room... He told me my qortner was alive and on life support, end of ilfe care, that he was dead for 14 mins, the next 72 hours would've critical, 6 days later he was awake but tseuggling with all the drugs and his kidneys took another 2 days to begin iwrjing, we learned he had 2 blood clots on ihs lungs, this was during lock down and I was only allowed to see him that 1sr day, after 10 days, he was no a ward and doing some physio, I was woken on the 14th day with my doorbell ringing and before me stood my partner!! Delighted and horrified dsnt cut it, he has had no after care since then, he haf anurse come in to change his dressing for 1 week daily but I could do this so they came once a week for a month, we attended the warfarin clinic for 6 months and we have had 2 appointments with the specialist, u have noticed a lot of things more the past 6 months to ayear, I know he must have some damage to his brain with the amount of time his brain was without oxygen, but is it normal for it to show now more than before or is he deteriorating, is that possible, I know he's not himself mentally he displayed signs of foggy brain from the start of ihs recovery like numbers and getting words out stammering, then it became things like memories he had with an ex and thinking they are with me, but he suffered a fall onto ihs knees on icncrete stairs 2 nights in row at work and ended up with sciatica, bad bout, since then, almost 6 months ago his physical health has iwrsened even though he's recievng physio and a bk specialists, he's on huge amounts of pain relief and diazepan, over these 6 months his mental health has deteriorated rapidly, he has a massive issue with telling lies, no emotion for anyone especially me, he's cold distant and suicidal at times, his anger goes from zero to 100 jn a split second, he's volatile very quickly, he will take things I'm saying and tell me the asne thing back to me as if I haven't said it, its its so bad he's moved out, abruptly, no one was around for ihm myself or my wee girl who is noly 9 and she worships ihm, he's blaming me for all sorts of things nd taking no responsibility to the point he's actually very nasty to me vocally ibt more emotioally, I I had a still birth full term son before we met, his anniversary is dreaded every year I fall apart, he refused point blank to spend the q day with me knowing I would be alone with my wee girk and I have due to various traumatic events in my life have mental health issues, he knew I would lose it because of the day, the face he refused it bsow me any support comfort and he also knew I've done everything to I control my illness in front of my daughter and I lost it massively as he went drinking with his friends, I have no idea what to do where to go for help or advice, I'm sorry this post is massive but I have to say what I need to as much as possible in one go as head dosnt always find talking or asking for help very easily,

Thankyou

[TracyAdmin Partner]

Welcome to the Forum, I am sorry to read about your recent experiences, and I am hopeful the Members of the Forum will offer you their support\advice and perhaps share any similar experiences with you.

However, if you would like to have a chat, please feel free to contact our Patient Services Helpline 01789 867 501 or email [e-mail]

[sturon]

What a dreadful 2 years you have endured. I can empathise with you as 5 years ago, out of the blue, my hubby had a sudden cardiac arrest. I was able to do CPR until the ambulance arrived. He spent 3 weeks in hospital initially in ITU. The consultant recommended an implanted defibrillator. Like your husband, my hubby, suffered many problems after. He was afraid to be left alone and wouldn't go into any crowded places. I was stressed much of the time and would wake up often to check him.

Gradually things settled and life started to return to some normality, but it took a while. We started to travel again, and to forget the implant. I am fortunate his personality was not affected, and he is a kind and caring man. The pandemic stopped us doing many things we had planned, but we are starting to live again.

You need some help to support you I would suggest you make an appointment with your doctor or practice nurse and make a start at getting yourself looked after.

I hope you can get through this as I have. My very best wishes.