Some of you may remember I posted way back in August last year when for no apparent reason my husband could no longer get up and down the stairs without his legs collapsing. He had suffered a road side cardiac arrest in July and was successfully resuscitated at the road side, spent time in ITU and came home, walking, talking and with no obvious ill effects until August.
Since then we have been for an MRI, shows minor vascular damage possibly due to age and or diabetes. Seen the cardiologist and had a barrage of tests that show remarkable recovery. Seen a physio (NHS and Private) once a fortnight, he speaks to a counsellor (NHS) when they can be bothered to call him.
GP and cardiologist and neurologist have agreed that his muscle problem could be statin related and have changed him to Ezetimibe.
We are now coming up to the anniversary of his cardiac arrest and he is increasingly becoming house bound as he refuses to go, he spends most of his time upstairs. He has started to drinking every night. He is suicidal, and has admitted if his mother was dead he would kill himself. He is fed up with the apparent fobbing off by medical professionals that are keeping him from enjoying life and going to work.
I am rapidly approaching the point of regretting saving his life and wishing he would kill himself and let us all get on with our lives.
So my question - does anyone know of a residential program for cardio rehab patients with some psychological help (I really think his problems are in his head)
Thanks for reading this, I will now go and cry somewhere away from the kids and him.
Written by
Karenpr
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Wow. You have symphathy. Only he can drag himself out if his self pity. It hits us hard and we have to accept wherever are. BUT he definitely needs a councillor to help him come to terms with his lot. It's seems that the health people are helping him except for the councelling. I would put all my efforts into getting him that. Good luck and fight and don't stop fighting.
this will be across a couple of posts because of this stupid app. Firstly the going out, I know exactly how he feels, having that crowd around all saying arbless and wispering is he dead or drunk all busselling to get a better view and then you piddle yourself 'is he alright do you need help' no he just likes sitting on the floor in a pool of pee! both of you need to come to terms with this, you because it might happen again and him because he needs to realise that for them it is a poor highlight of their day and feel sorry for them.
related to that is what he wants to do and what he knows that he cannot do anymore, l used to hate having to cut the grass but now l would love to! l have to wait for my son to come over. yesterday I was going to cut it and we had an arguement with she saying go on frieghten me again or just die this time, l didnt cut the grass so am l just a waist of space, please tell him that there are other out here so hes not alone.
Can he start work again or are you both kidding yourselves?
l will bet hes had trouble in the bedroom aswell, l joke if things get any smaller i'll be a little girl! but this as an affect on she who has also given up in that area, for me its bragging rights 'l died on the job' she sees it slightly differently.
Talk to each other and to your family and friends. Some feelings both of you will keep inside inside but openly talk about the rest. get him to go back to cardio rehab again as soon as your go can make the appointment.
Luckily haven’t got to the sitting in a puddle of pee yet! We have had spectacular falls which hasn’t exactly helped his anxiety levels. Trains and escalators are out, stairs are out unless he goes down on his bum. Cardio rehab at the hospital was a total waste of time and space as he couldn’t get on the bike or do the step ups, and meditation at the end, give me a break. Luckily he can work from home but he can’t do anything he loves, golf, art galleries etc as he can’t get out the house without me.
This is why I wanted to know if anyone knew of residential cardio rehab that he book himself into for a weeks intensive work out to help overcome the anxiety and possibly with an on site counselling service. Guess they don’t exist. 😥
Didnt the cardio rehab focus on what he could do? Ive done it three times and they have never allowed me past the one to one help and focused on strengthening the bits they can, l cannot do upper body cardiovascular work or allow my pulse to go over 98 or l get chest pain.
l can not understand his reluctance to do just what he can rather than worry about what he can not do. This last time after 8 sessions l got to two 20m laps(very slowly), 8 eel lifts, 10 knee squezzes and 5 step ups each leg. if l go over this l get chest pain. Not one of the theropistspushed me to do more. What im trying to say is do what he can.
Both our lives have changed drastically, l basically retired at 53 and then my wife retired as soon as she could get her pension at 55 to look after my needs. We were both in jproffessional jobs with a good level of income with two abroard holidays a year.....all thats gone, im now 60 and shes 58. I love to go to football matches but havent for now 8 year after having a season ticket for the previous 20, l just cannot physically go and watch my belived baggies anymore.
both of us have had to change, neither of us want to or enjoy the change but when needs must
Not really, they moved from one station to the next. If he couldn’t do something like get on the exercise bike he was given a seated alternative.
He can walk miles with no chest pain or breathlessness, he can do knee raises and other exercises given by the physio with no problems. He just can’t get up and down stairs.
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