I just need to get this out because I have no support system in my life. My own husband shows me no empathy and acts like how I feel is all my fault. I should just get over it and forget the past. Wow what a thought I wish I had figured that out so much sooner lol. I could just scream and cry. I don’t want my entire life to be consumed by these feelings. When things happen to you as a kid or younger, you think well when I’m older things will get better. “Time heals” but it’s been years and years, feels like it has got worse for me.
I don’t feel like I have the ability to be happy or feel joy. On the inside I’m just angry and sad all the time, I wish I could express it in a good way instead of lashing out. Sometimes I wish I was just numb instead. I see so many people in the world that appear unbothered and so happy and I wonder…how? I wish I was like them, able to live my life care free.