Hi everybody....as some of you may know, my daughter-in -law has been seriously ill, having been treated for a brain tumour then contracted MRSA. It's now 4.50am & I & my family have come home from Hospital, having said Goodbye to her for the last time. She suddenly went downhill yesterday afternoon & the Doctors said there was nothing more they could do for her. Mercifully she didn't linger & is now at peace & in a far better place, re-united with her baby who passed away 6yrs ago soon after birth. My daughter is with my son & Grandson but I've come home to my own house as I need the time on my own. I then realised that I wanted to talk but who can I ring at this hour ? So I came on-line to the site I am so used to. I'm not going to rant about the unfairness of life because there's no point....I did that when Frank passed away & it didn't make any difference.
At the hospital, I did go outside, round the corner & let out an almighty scream or two...probably frightened a few people but don't really think there were too many around so early in the morning. We as a family are just going to have to get on with it.....8tr old Jake is now our main priority.
I could go on for ages but won't. So I'll just say...Take care & try to keep smiling.
Love Hazel B xx
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hazelb
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Thank you for screaming outside of the hospital. That is how you/me/all of us really feel. Not the logical, phlisophical stuff. Just "it hurts" feeling.
hazel, I can't find any words to help heal the hurt you must be feeling, I just wish it were possible for each member of this community to take away a small portion of your pain, which I know we would.
I cannot begin to think of how you and your family are feeling. My thoughts are with you - life can seem so hard at times. I ask why? so many times that these things happen to nice people but I am still waiting for an answer!!
Gob Bless Hazel my love and thoughts are with you at this sad time.
Love Jenni
P.S. at least we can all let off steam on this site and we all understadnd. XXX
Hazel, I hope sharing your thoughts made you feel a little better, even if just for a few minutes. You and your family are having the toughest time. Even though you seem such a strong person you must feel desperate.I can only send my warmest wishes to you all and hope that there is some sunshine around the corner for you, Jake and the rest of your family.
Hazel, So sorry to hear of your loss. It's a pain that will ebb and flow for years to come (from experience). You are right to concentrate on the youngster as he will need all the support he can get. I hope that this doesn't make him bitter about life and your reactions will tailor that thinking for sure. God Bless,
How can one reply to all that It seems so meaningless , but it isn't as I am sure you undrestand . For most of the people on this site are suffering / coping in one way or another
i do hope all the love being snent to you are of help if only in the smallest of ways ....
My heart goes out to you and your loved ones a this time. Just take it a day/minute at a time and you will get through this. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
You wrote me such a kind note for which I want to thank you and tell you how my heart is breaking for all of the sadness in your life. No matter how strong you are what has happened to your family is devastating. I hope that there are many people around to hold you, massage your neck and back and be there for your tears. I hope, by the way, that someone treats you to a massage in lieu of flowers. That's what I do now: give the gift of a massage.
Life is so unfair, can't find any words to say to you at this sad time except mine and my family's thoughts and prayers are with you all, we will get to talk one day. God bless you all
Thank you to each & every one of you for your wonderful words of comfort, none of which surprise me ( except the sheer amount of numbers ) as we all pull together here on this site. As I once said we are a little ( or not so little really ) community & we all help each other. I don't know what I'd do without you all.
Barb....I have a massage every month & have done for quite a long time now...couldn't do without it.
Rita...thank you. I really will ring you one day.
Hopefully we have now had our fair share of sadness.
Take care everyone & keep smiling. I will be keeping an eye on you all.
I am so absolutely devasted to hear this awful news - my thoughts and prayers are with you and the rest of your family at this tragic time.
We have to try and be strong for those around us, and take comfort in the thought that those whom we love who are taken away from us so tragically, are at peace and won't suffer any more, and I am a firm believer that they are watching over us to keep us safe.
I am so very sorry to hear about your daughter-in-law. Although my Father is still with us, I scream, howl and generally rant and rave on a regular basis. My husband is now used to it and handles it very well thank goodness. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this very difficult time.
Oh Hazel I just want to give you a hug and wipe your tears away. Please call me if you want to -its a load that seems too hard to bear at times on your own . You have been such an amazingly strong woman-there at all times supporting your family through these dark and , emotional days. I bet you have discovered strengths you never knew you had. But right now you are probably exhausted -mentally and physically drained. It has taken real courage to battle through everything you have had to cope with. Even in your own despair you took the time to come along to the Manchester support group to offer your support to our members there - so typically you - so generous, so unselfish and always thinking of others . We are all here for you now Hazel.
What a wonderful lady you are to be supporting others throughout suchtough tragedies in your own life and family. Your grandson is very very lucky to have such a strong grandma who will be there for him as the years pass, and your son too, who will no doubt need much strength from his family. Please in all this, remember to take care of yourself, and communicate here with all those who have shown support above. Screaming is SO therapeutic - find a time and place to do it again when you need to!
I am so sorry for your loss.
Clara XXX
Hazel,
If anyone deserved to let out a good scream it sure sounds like it was you. So much loss, so much to keep in until you can't! I often go into the shower and scream and cry a bit. When I read your post all I could think was---bless her for letting go a little.
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Sad News 
Not a good start to a Sunday morning.
Advanced/end of life stage
My darling Mum
