Anticipatory Grief is REAL: I find myself... - PSP Association

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Anticipatory Grief is REAL

bazooka111 profile image

I find myself having days that are incredibly hard —- today is one of those days. I felt that I should share that not every day is filled with JOY for me …

I sit here with my sweet Mother, and yet I kiss her so very much. If we could just have one more conversation, one more belly laugh, one more cup of coffee and just talk.

Sending warm hugs to everyone.

19 Replies

I know how you feel all so well. I was going through pictures this week because, well, I am framing them for my husband's celebration of life when the time comes and I know it's soon.We have been together almost 52 yrs and your same thoughts crossed my mind. Later, he looked so frail in his hospice hospital bed and so many of those pictures kept flashing.....just one more day of walking and holding hands, one more memorable vacation, one more sitting on the sidelines of a grandchilds soccer game cheering them on, one more day of fishing which he so loved to do....and so on and so on.

Looking at those pictures I realized how time is the most precious thing we have next to good health. When both are gone, you never get them back. I try to stay positive by saying how lucky we are to have had so many years and make so many memories together. But sometimes that makes the positivity even harder. Keep hugging and kissing your sweet Mama.

Grief before the passing of a loved one is real. Especially with this cruel disease taking the person before our eyes. I just didnt really understand it until I looked back after the passing of my wife, and realized I had been grieving for a long time.

Cherish every moment as you are doing.

Thoughts and prayers covering you. Blessings,

Bobby

Hugs and prayers Kim.

Tim

Poor love. God bless xx

We fight to hold it back, we hide behind those joyous moments, but it is always there waiting for us to let our guard down. This is why your posts are so amazing.I send you hugs and look forward to your next moment of joy.

Kim, yes anticipatory grief is very real. Thank you for trusting us enough to let your guard down to share. There is great joy and great sadness on this journey - none of us escape it. I tried so very hard not to let John suffer and/or die. Ultimately, it is out of our hands. Someday you will have your memories and I hope you realize you have done an outstanding job of making them with your sweet Mother. I always considered it a blessing knowing that John had a limited time left. I could make the most of it and appreciate the time we had rather than taking it for granted and letting time pass before it was too late. Mother's Day is coming, how lucky you are to still have her. I am older than dirt now, but I lost my mom when I was in my early 30's. How I wish she had been in my life longer.

Be kind to Kim. Hugs, Alice

Big hugs xxx

Thinking of you, I completely understand what you are saying, it is so tough and so exhausting. You are doing everything you can but it’s all those things that you want to do to make everything normal like it used to be but you can’t because you can’t get back what you used to do with this cruel illness. But you have your memories which nobody can ever take from you and at the end of the day that’s what we have to cling on to. Sending you a huge hug and love xxxx

Sending Love & Supportive Hugs... Granni B

It is hard Kim and 2 1/2 years on after my lovely husband got his wings, I still have those moments. 😥

Sending you warm hugs. To you and your sweet mother.

The anticipatory grief is real. It seems like grief is really not something that you can control. My wife passed away about a month ago and the other day I had to go pick up her ashes. I was feeling very bad before leaving the house but for some reason the actual picking up of the ashes at the crematorium was only melancholy. I was expecting it to be a very painful moment but in reality, it wasn't. Afterwards, moments of grief surfaced but usually at some moment when I least expected it. I have learned to just let the grief come and go and try to begin living life again.

Thinking of you and everyone on this very difficult journey. It’s so easy to focus on the horrible when these cruel diseases are happening before your eyes. Your special posts remind me to treasure every moment I am with my mum. The anticipatory grief is tough. Take care.

This is so very relatable. I took a nap and woke up still feeling quite exhausted. May you still find solace, even through the tough days, in that you have all those moments to comfort you.

Right there with you. Thanks.

Sending very big hug and much loveLots of love

Anne

Yes it is very real!!! -sometimes I am so busy with managing all the care I think it becomes a form of avoidence of the anticipatory grief, and then out of nowhere I cry. HUGS!!!!

Kim, It is hard. Every week I think is this the last time I will ever be able to do this particular thing with my wife, especially now it is very hard to communicate with her. Death by a thousand cuts - except we have to be strong.....

But keep on going - you are a really positive influence on this forum.

Richard x

No not everyday is a good day. I have CBD and I fell and cracked a rib I’m so afraid of losing my movement because I can’t exercise. Ice cream sounds great Now

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