This smile is what I captured this morning, before she went back down to sleep. Momma is sleeping more than she is awake, and my heart is breaking a little more each day.
I miss connecting with everyone on this forum, and Im sorry it has been two months since I touched base with you. I appreciate all the private messages, and I feel bad that I have not responded any sooner.
As most of you already know, this is a journey than can be absolutely exhausting -- and I am experiencing all of it. I am struggling with the reality of this horrible disease -- as much as I feel like I have prepared my heart ---
For the past week, Mom has been sleeping SO MUCH! Her appetite has changed! I manage to get moments of her being alert - like this picture this morning. I tried to feed her some breakfast, and managed a few bites -- and she looks at me, and can hardly keep her eyes open. In addition, she is holding food in her mouth, and I have to remind her to chew and swallow. I have no idea what tomorrow brings --- but, I am just trying to take things one day at a time.
I have read on here somewhere about the increased of sleep --- Assuming some of you have knowledge of this --- I keep praying its just a short phase and we will get back to what we have as the norm for the past 3 months.
Her voice is gone, the whisper has disappeared. We are now using thumbs up and down for simple questions. She can still bare weight on her legs, but her right arm is so rigid. In the picture below, you see her holding a cylinder shaped fabric "dog toy" -- this is because her nails are digging into the palm of her hand -- sigh, the things I come up with to try and help.
I appreciate all of you, and more than anything .. I appreciate the friendships I have made -- having a place to lay this all down, and YOU all understand.
Hugs to everyone!
Blessings -- slivers of joy are there, I am just working harder to find them.